


Soulmates And Other Fallacies...

by jdoozi



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Because I can't do angst-angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, Lighthearted angst, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, possible, possible triggers, post AOU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:28:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4134081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdoozi/pseuds/jdoozi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To best understand Darcy's aversion to the whole bound soulmate ideal, you first have to ponder the "Chicken or the Egg" theory. Was Darcy Lewis so adamantly against soulmates because she believed herself a true, independent thinker?... Or was it as simple as the dismissive words written neatly, tracing the right side of her collarbone, were cause enough to believe happily ever after is not guaranteed for all those who are marked?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would read the updated note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***UPDATED NOTE***, Hi! If you're just joining us, this has been two years of me picking away at this story and learning as I go. GOOD NEWS for those of you just finding this, IT IS FINISHED! All will be posted by Monday. Few notes about my work. I barley proof read. Sometimes I will go back and fix stuff I find months down the road. I know. You don't have to leave me comments. I am not going to do much. With that said, I mean you can still read it. Like 800 people have at least so... anywho, welcome! Thanks for joining us and if you're thinking about throwing your hat in the FanFic writing ring, please do! I need tons to read!  
> ~*~*~  
> Sigh.  
> I am not sure this wants to be written. It's been in my head for months and "on paper" for a month.  
> This chapter is a snip and paste version of the first 3 longer chapters I had. Once I chopped those up things started to seem a little more obtainable. The next chapter, however, is where we actually get our hands in and get comfortable. So stick with me until that. Then feel free to tell me if I am grasping at straws here. Please and Thank you!
> 
> Next chapter needs a fine tooth comb but hopefully up by Sunday.
> 
> Chey, I hope this find you well. Sorry I couldn't get this out sooner!

To best understand Darcy aversion to the whole bound soulmate ideal, you first have to ponder the "Chicken or the Egg" theory. Was Darcy Lewis so adamantly against soulmates because she believed herself a true, independent thinker? Therefore she would not allow herself to be bound by a predetermined fate?... Or was it as simple as the dismissive words written neatly, tracing the right side of her collarbone, were cause enough to believe happily ever after is not guaranteed for all those who are marked?

" _Context_." Her Mother would remind Darcy as a child. " _We don't know the context_."

When Darcy was 14, her Father, Darcy's Mother's Soulmate, left them for parts unknown. Darcy's Mother remained a deluded romantic and Darcy grew more cynical at the idea. She was nearly convinced she was better off getting her walking papers before it began.

Though to her it is not all a sob story. To her it was a blessing. Never let it be said that Darcy Lewis didn't live life on her own terms. She lived life on the fly. She never had to worry that one day, it all would change by 8 words thrown her direction. Her Soulmate would say his or her peace and collectively they would move on. Free to float independently among the Universe as she always had. 

Darcy would have done well to listen to her Mother...

 

~*~

 

Nothing in the early morning hours had lead her to believe that a cosmic conspiracy was in fact, conspiring against her. The day was beginning like most had... right on the tail of the one before. 

When she originally had agreed to stay on with Jane as Jane moved her whole operations from Stark Tower to the new Avenger's facility, she made it her mission to see to it that Jane got on Regular Human Time. 

Yet, here she was walking like the half dead back to her own tiny accommodations after _finally_ getting Jane tucked into the much more spacious "Married" housing that Jane occupied because apparently being bound to Thor somehow got you preferred treatment around here.

It's no wonder when she passed Steve in the hall, giving the official tour to his long-lost-childhood-friend-turned-Hydra-made-assassin-turned-down-and-out-but-super-hot-amnesiac-out-to-find-himself, Darcy wasn't in the right mind space to act within social norms during introductions. She acted like... well she acted like Darcy.

Of course she knew who he was. She had read everything she could get her hands on after the fall of SHIELD. She had heard Steve had found him weeks ago and after some initial brainwashing detoxing, or whatever it is they were doing, Steve thought it was time to bring him to the safety of the compound.

Somehow in midst of a battle with the weight of her eyelids, she managed to make eye contact with Steve. He looks surprised to see anyone up at this hours but smiles softly and indicates for her to come over. 

"Looks like you caught us. I was hoping we could sneak in and make our rounds relatively unnoticed." Steve then positions himself to face both Darcy and Bucky. "Buck, this is Darcy. She works here at the facilities in one of our labs."

At mention of _labs,_  Bucky's head dips. He gives a nod directed at the floor. His finger splay open and then ball into a fist. To see such a solid mass of brawn be reduced to a frightening shell is a total bummer.

She keeps a careful vigil of him as Steve continues on with the introductions. She fights against every instinct to braid his hair and promise the  _bad men_  will never get him again.

"Darcy this is Bucky... uh, James?" Steve stumble over his name and Darcy loses that one last stitch of self control. She propels herself forward.

"Come here you beautiful broken dove." Darcy engulfed Bucky... (James?) in a big hug. Aside from the _HELLO_ muscles she could feel him tense up. He is unyieldingly stiff with his hands still at his sides. Furthermore, she could feel the tension radiating off in waves from Steve at her side.

She pulls back and looks quizzically at both men. Bucky's, we'll just go with Bucky, face wears pure horror.

"Oh! Is it my morning breath?" Darcy shoots a hand to over her mouth.

Steve chokes on air. So much so that Darcy has to draw her eyes off Bucky's face to check on Steve. His eyes are bugged and the way he opens and closes his mouth at his words reminds Darcy of a very patriotically dressed Goldfish. He reclaims himself to speak.

"No. Darcy...  you just said his Words." Steve is still astounded even after he managed to say it aloud.

"Oh." Darcy gives a relived peppy shrug and drops her hand. Then the realization hits. "Ooooh!" She looks at Steve who gives a _ah! yeah?_! look and she turns back to Bucky. He still looks like his worst fear has been realized. He looks at the floor and shakes his head swiftly from side to side before taking a step back to turn and fully retreat. 

Darcy watches him go.

"Huh, how do you like them apples? A non-verbal reject before the verbal one." She turns and pats a stunned, frozen Steve on the arm as she makes her way to carrying on her intended destination. "Looks like Hydra went about wiping your buddy's old fashioned manners with everything else. Add that one to the list of things to work on." Darcy actually chuckles to herself and Steve looks as if he is going to have a coronary.

She already a few feet down the hall when Steve catches her with a hand on her forearm to stop her. "Wait, aren't you going to go after him?"

"What?" Darcy squishes her face in disbelief. "No. I'm going to go watch the back of my eyelids in bed. That's what I'm going to do."

"Darcy. He's your Soulmate." 

"Annnnnnd, he's _your_  best friend. You know him a whole hell of a lot better than me. That's for damn sure. I need sleep, Steve. Sleeeeeep."

Steve looks at floor between them as if he replaying everything, trying to figure out what he missed.

"I don't understand?... I know he just walked away but he's-"

"Steve, buddy, quit looking like a kicked puppy al'right? I know his deal. He'll be around. There's plenty of time to get this squared away. Ooooh, but if your look right now is any indication of an opportunity to take advantage of that Peace, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness guilt, I would LOVE an Egg Bagel from the shop in town I like. You're the best." Darcy ruffles his hair and continues once more to end the day. 

Steve's hand moves through his hair causing even more of a fluffy mess than Darcy just caused.

"Darcy. No."

Come again? Darcy turns at the sound of Captain America's voice coming from Steve.

"Please." The Captain asks.

"Oh al'right, Geeze! Anything else Steve needs you to bully me into while you're at it, Captain?"

Steve's face remains passive.

"Ugh!" Darcy complains to the ceiling. "You owe me an Apple juice with my bagel, buddy!" She moves past Steve. "The one in the apple-shaped glass container!" She says as she heads down the hall to find Bucky.

 

~*~

 

He has a Soulmate. She wasn't dead. They hadn't killed her like they had said they had. They hadn't killed her because "Assets have no souls and no need for Soulmates".

He briskly and aimlessly walks around the building. Each corner leading to even less familiar territory. He had unintentionally let himself get lost and his Soulmate, _his Soulmate_ , was probably close on his heals. 

Bucky Barnes was never one to have a panic attack. The Asset certainly would not fall prey to them. However, whoever he was now felt something of the sort coming on. The lost of control still too fresh a wound from his time as a POW. He leads himself over to the three little steps in the distance and sits to gather himself. His eyes shut tight around his breathing.

"Ah hell." Darcy sighs. "Are you alright?" Bucky opens his eyes and quickly surrenders. He shakes his head _No_ and Darcy kneels on the step before him.

She reaches out for him but Bucky grabs her by one of her wrist and snarls on reflex. Her eyes go wide. She throws up her other hand, palm out. "Whoa there! Okay, that was totally dumb of me." She searches for his stare. "Soulmate, here." She points to herself. "Remember?" She keeps eye contact.  "I am not going to hurt you and I know you won't hurt me. I just want to help you calm down. Okay?" She offers it in a slow, calming and almost condescending tone... but he believes her.

He sharply nods.

She approaches slowly this time. When her hand reaches the side of his face she draws his head into her chest and cradled his head in her hands. "Come here." She says gently. "Al'right. Breath with me. Innnnnnnn and ouuuttt. Good." She rubs a hand over his back. "... and again, Innnnn and ouuut." 

Her scent. Her scent is like rosebuds dusted with baby powder. Judging by the state of her clothes and exhausted eyes, the scent couldn't be fresh soap but her own scent saturating her skin. He is instantly drunk off it and looking for more. He draws in another helping. By the time his hands move on their own accord to either of Darcy's hips, he is nearly sedated. He breathing even and his mind quiet.

It is his Soulmate who notices the positioning first. He can feel her awareness shift and it draws them out of their connection. She begins to move slowly.

"Al'right there Bucko, Soulmate or not, that's a _dinner first zone_. " She pulls back, removing Bucky's face from the cradle of her cleavage. He has the good sense to look a little sheepishly apologetic, though he is not. "Feel better?" She ducks her head to make eye contact.

He nods.

"Good. Now out with it!" She rolls her hand encouraging the inevitable.

The words wrestle with themselves. Each sentiment crossing his mind conveying a different meaning. Each phrase falling on either the side of keeping her near and the other side pushing her way. He feels one fight to the surface and he's not sure is what he actually feels but there is no stopping it.

"Doll, we are never going to be together." Splat. It's out and in the space between them.

"There. Isn't that better?" She bends further to meet his eyes and pats him on his shoulder.

He looks at her. His face searching hers as if trying to assess her brand of crazy.

"Since birth, remember? I've had some time to get over the sting, ya know?" She shrugs.

Oh God. Those words. She has walked around her whole life with the words from her Soulmate basically telling her to take a hike. The way his Mom would bring a hand to her chest whenever she really considered her son someone's "Broken Dove" was nothing like the rejection she wore. He had another life that his action would need him to atone for.

"Don't do that. It's not your fault." He must have worn his thoughts on his face. "You are at the beginning of a very large hill, you have got a lot of things you're gonna need to address. This..." She draws a finger back between both of them. "...isn't one of them. Al'right? You're off the hook."

He tries to will his face to move. To form any emotion across it. He can't actually feel his face anymore it's gone so 'laxed. He does, however,  get his eyes to blink. Which he does. A few times.

Darcy sighs dramatically and goes to sit next to him to finish their rendezvous.

"For what it's worth, I'm a little relieved." He turns slightly and raises a brow at her. She continues. "No, really! Do you know how much of my teen years I spent thinking I was going to be turned down by some pompous asshole who thought it was cool to use outdated slang? Then have him take one look at me and decide I wasn't for him?" He looks at her again. This time it was more of a once over. To Darcy's credit she did not balk at it. "The _Doll_ thing is now kinda charming coming from you and given the extra few beats spent literally head first in between my rack, I'm confident that you have the good taste to think I'm the knockout that I am."

He huffs out a lighthearted breath behind a smirk despite himself.

"So don't worry about me. I'm adjusted. You just do you, Boo. You just do you." She pats his knee and stands. He grips her fingers as she goes to move. Her face turns back at him and they lock eyes. He doesn't want her to leave he realizes but he doesn't know how to ask her to stay.

So he doesn't.

"Thank you, Darcy." It is the deepest use of the simple phrase he's ever used.

"Don't mention it." She smile warmly. "And if it's all the same to you, I was growing kinda partial to Doll." She winks at him. "See you around, Bucko." 

He certainly hoped so.

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Absolutely not! No! Uh ah! No way, Jose! Persona Non Grata!"

"I don't think that last one means what you think it means, Darce and come on! Please? What's the big deal? He's your S _oulmate._ I am just asking you to check in on him from time to time." Steve was following behind Darcy as she carried a tray through each lab, picking up lunch dishes. "It's been three weeks. I need to get back out in the field. Furthermore, my head needs to be in the Mission while I am out in the field. What better way than knowing I am not leaving Bucky here to fend for himself than to see to it that the person for whom he is forever bonded to has an eye out for him?"

"Ouch, I'm sorry Captain Rogers but I feel like you would have an easier time convincing Darcy to agree, had you not really tried to sell the forever bond there at the end. Not exactly a soft spot for her." Jane picks up the tea Darcy brought with her and settles in for the show.

"Thank you, Jane." Darcy gives her an approving nod. "And you, Captain Guilt trip." She squares her focus on him. That is  _not_ the only thing you're asking with that. What you don't realize that you're asking is for me to be forced upon him. I'm sure the poor guy feels like being marked is responsibility enough but having a forced rapport because of it? That's just cruel and unusual. Give the guy a break. I'm sure he'd like a reprieve from all the Mother Hen hovering."

"Hmm. She does have a point." Jane interjects again just as Steve slouches and slumps on a near by stool. It's not a good look for him. Darcy feels like she took a Magic Marker to the Lincoln Memorial. She concedes.

"Fine! IF I should see he needs it, I'll drop him a line but I am not going to be knocking on his door asking him to play Gin Rummy, got it?" She points at him with the empty water glass in her hand.

"Great!" Steve instantly peps up and off the chair and she sorta feels had. "This is wonderful, Darcy. Thank you, truly." He's out the door before she can recant. Yep, totally played.

~*~

The compound was pretty somber when the Big Guns were called out. Though staying up in the quiet space, while Jane tinkered away felt like New Mexico again. It made the massive complex almost feel quaint. It must have been a bit of nostalgia working it's magic when she had her first interactions with Bucky since the stairwell.

She enters the communal after hours kitchen singing out loud with her earbuds in. She makes work of setting up a midnight snack for both she and Jane. She's rocking out in a whole other world. After using the refrigerator door as a partner for some tastefully executed dirty dancing, she turns to the kitchens island and grabs the closest utensil as makeshift microphone.

She sings out:

" _She's gonna save me, call me baby. Run her hands through my hair_."

She drums the serving spoon on the counter.

" _She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily. Better yet she wouldn't care_ -."

Her eyes open to the room. 

"Cheese and rice!" She yells and pulls the cords from her ears. She presses a hand over her chest and rest her other hand on the counters edge for support as she leans into her breathing.

Bucky lays on the couch that faces away from where she had just unknowingly put on a one woman show. He's raised enough to where his eyes are just peering over the back of the couch. He makes deliberate eye contact with her once her head is raised again.

Wait. Was he smirking at her?

"Wait. Are you smirking at me?" She grows indignant and his enjoyment of her fright.

He pulls his mouth into an undeniable smirk, only this time it is with some truly flirtatious eyes and Darcy wonder if he is even aware that he is making them. "That was some dance there, Doll."

Oh yeah, so maybe he wasn't  _just_  enjoying the fact that he caught her off guard and caused her to nearly jump as high as the counter itself. She rolls her eyes at him and continues on making a couple of sandwiches.

"What are you doing up, anyways?" She knows as soon as she asks. The same reason most of the battle hard soldiers kept odd hours. She pulls her face in a cringe before smoothing it to offer him an apologetic look. She wants to tell him he doesn't have to answer.

"Sleep isn't as kind to me as it once was." It's all he says and Darcy tries to think of how long it has probably been since he had a complete night sleep that didn't involve being put on ice. 

She turns to retrieve a small sauce pan. She puts it on the stove and pours a small amount of milk in before turning it on.

"So? You settling in alright?" For the love of Thor, she remembers being a lot better with her people skills.

He just shrugs.

"You uh, wanna talk about it... about anything?" Seriously Darcy, who are you? Jane?

He shakes his head no.

"Understandable." She says and goes about stirring the milk before placing it into Clint's _Archers Hit the Bullseye_ mug. She walks over to the back of the couch he faces over, only now completely upright. She hands him the mug with a smile and moves to give his head a pet. Her heart sink once when he goes to dart out of the way and then again when he realizes he couldn't sit still for basic human comfort. She takes a breath and moves once again to pet his hair as if the first attempt never happened.

He looks up at her like a gives a sad but grateful smile when she connects and moves her hand down the length of his long, greasy strands and onto his shoulder. She returns the smile with every ounce of reassurance she can muster. She tops it off with a small wink. 

She heads back to the counter to make task of clearing her mess and plating the obtained goods. "Al'right Bucko," She says with her head still in to her work. "I've got to get back to Dr. Foster but should you need me... erm.. should need something. I usually there pretty late, okay?"

She looks up to make eye contact. She notices that his didn't seem to be as causal as looking up when she said his name. He must have been studying her the whole time she was finishing up. She gives a slight lift to her brow as if to ask if him heard her.

"Thank you, Darcy."

"Well we seem to be making a habit of leaving on those words. Don't mention it, Bucko. Find me if you need to." She calls back gently as she retreats. 

What's one more person to care for after all?

~*~

He can't sleep. That's not what surprises him. It's that he wonders if Darcy is still up. Though he tells himself it's because she always seems to be up in the dark hours. In the handful of times he has taken to "look in on her" anyways. She's always up tinkerer away in Dr. Foster's lab.

Steve says she started out a Poli-sci student turned intern to turned some fancy degree herself. He never admitted back when they were kids but he would get paired with a smart broad. Someone he could actually carry on an intellegent conversation with. Since arriving to the compound, he spent at least an hour or so watching Darcy, from a distance and hidden, do elaborate things in the lab. He finds it soothing.

Before Bucky can really ask himself what he is doing he has his boots on and is pulling a shirt over his head as he make his way out the door.

He find the corner he stands against to look into observation wall into the lab. A small peep with Sniper precision shows the room is dark. All the lights are off and the Scientist have seemed to make it to their beds by a decent hour.

That should be the end of it. He should make it back to his room and count sheep until sleep or sunrise.

That's what he should do.

"Hey Bucko? Uh, what bring you to my neck of the woods so early in the morning?" Darcy is obviously surprised to see him leaning up against the wall, next to her front door so early in the morning.

"You really shouldn't be off the grounds by yourself when it's this dark." He hates how his voice betrays him by showing off just how much concern he had when he knocked and she wasn't there. He makes a gesture at her bag.

Darcy squishes her face at the Dad lecture.

"Well um, Okay? First off. Wow. Second, I have my tazzer. I have lived a lot off life before I made my way here." She was a tough one. Bucky knew that much. "Tomorrow is my first day off in for-ev-er. I went into town for essentials. I'm sure anything perishable in my apartment has, well, perished." She holds up the bag and Bucky leans over to peek in.

He eyes the 4 quarts of Ben and Jerry's. His face completely questioning.

"Essentials." Darcy jerks her chin in a firm, sharp nod. "And no judgment or I am totally not letting you camp out on my couch for the night." She lifts her face triumphantly smug.

He goes to make a face to object to her reasoning why he was here. He realize it futile to deny it and his face falls in an almost pitiful droop and he looks down at the ground. He can't believe it's so hard to just admit he needs the company.

"It's al'right, Bucko." Darcy goes to turn the key in her deadbolt. "I've more than enough ice cream for both of us."

Bucky follows behind her into the space. He stops shortly after making his through the door. The smell. It's her scent. He takes a nose full. It's a drug. His drug.

"Take off your coat and pull up a seat, I'll get us some spoons." Darcy trails of as she makes her way into the kitchenette. Bucky enters into her small seating area and takes up the center of her small couch. Rather than take the arm chair she makes her way to sit on the available cushion next to him. "You look like a Cherry Garcia kinda man." She holds out the cardboard container and Bucky eyes it suspiciously. "Trust me. It's going to change your life." She forces the ice cream in his direction once more and after he takes it she finds her way to pull her entire self up on to the couch. Her back is to the padded arm of the sofa and shins flushed against Bucky's side. She is face-first into her Phish Food and misses the questioning look on Bucky's face at the contact. 

She does look up in time to see his first bite and the way his face melts from serene enjoyment around it.

"Right?!" She says as she goes to trade their flavors. Bucky makes a motions to block the swap. "Al'right, al'right. Couple more bites first. I get it."

They continue on in a compatible silence. It is nice to have silence that is met with company. The silence alone in his room is deafening, it's so loud. 

"Ugh, I think that's enough for tonight." Darcy says after a while longer. She makes a dramatic show of dropping her spoon into the space craved out in the container. "You too, Bucko. You're going to give yourself a tummy ache." She pouts out her bottom lip and he gives her a challenging look as if to ask if she just said _tummy ache_ to arguably the world's most lethal assassin. She looks back at him as if to say: _Yep. I totally did_. She holds out her hand and he hands the sweet back over. Lingering with the last taste on the spoon before including it back.

"I'm going to get us some water. Bathroom is over there." She nods with her chin."Extra toothbrushes under the sink and feel free to use whatever you need." She smiles and he stands.

He makes his way in and procures the mentioned toothbrush and when he is done he goes about taking a quick whiff of every product she has. Nothing matches the intoxicating scent that radiates off of her. He puts everything back and leaves the room.

Darcy has a folded blanket under a fluffy pillow resting on the couch and a glass of water on the coffee table. She gives him a wink as she moves past to do her own nightly routine in the room he just exited.

When she reappears it is with a clean, bare face and her hair in a top knot. She's beautiful.

She stops behind the couch and looks over at him.

"Goodnight, Buck." She makes a motions so she is sure he sees it coming and runs her hand from the top of his head down the length of his hair and rest it on his shoulder. She pauses to smile at him and carries on to her room.

He tries to get comfortable. Being this close to her should be enough. He knows she is only on the other side of the door. If he strains his enhance hearing he make actually be able to hear her breath. Yet, he knows what would be even better than having to work for it.

He stands from the couch and gathers both the pillow and the throw. He makes his way to her door and find it opens without any resistance. He will have to remember to scold her for not locking it when a potentially dangerous man is laying in the next room. He opens the door further.

She laying with her head on her pillow facing the door. She gives him a weak smiles and he continues on into the room. He nods and places the pillow on the floor at the side of her bed. He goes to the floor next and arranges the blanket over himself, careful to leave his boots out at the bottom.

She hands down another pillow to him and he goes to adjust it behind his head. Adjusting each shoulder underneath it until he finds a comfortable spot.

"Goodnight, Doll." He says up to her.

"Umph." Is all she mumbles back as she is already drifting off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're asking yourself "did you move the story up in time?". I did. I needed a bridge. You won't be disappointed if you remind yourself that I've got 'end game' in mind, folks. End Game.

It's not long after that initial night that Bucky Barnes begins to spend every rough night he has on the floor of Darcy's room. Which then turn into his rough days camped out in her living room. Sometimes whether she was there or not. Darcy figures it is his safe haven and she can't fault him that. It has been a couple months, and one gifting of a spare access key later, she's no longer surprised to open the door to her apartment and see him there. Sitting in her chair, turned towards the window. He will spend hours just watching the forrest just beyond the Compound's grounds. She will make her way over to him, pet his hair and place a kiss on the top of his head before carrying on her own things to do around the apartment and go about obtaining whatever meal she made it home for. 

He begins to spend so much time there, Darcy jokes she can finally get a cat with having someone finally there to keep it company. If she also maybe had been reading articles on therapy animals and PTSD, well Bucky didn't need to know that.

After a few more months Bucky is deemed ready for Mission. His elation at having purpose again radiates off him and Darcy sends him off like a proud and equally terrified Mother on his very first mission. She is so intensely moved when she gets words from mission support that everything was a success and they were on their way home. It meant Bucky added Darcy to his list of Loved Ones to be informed. She cries in the supply closet at the gesture. When Bucky gets back, he stands taller and lets Darcy jump into his arms to wrap him in a hug on the Quinet landing pad. She ruffles the hair that partially hides his boastful grin and takes the rest of the day off to make Bucky his favorite dinner. After a shared pint of ice cream for dessert, Bucky regales Darcy with details of the hard fought battle, while they sit in her living room. Darcy thinks she is finally getting to see the man in place before a shell was built around him.

With every good mission he goes on, Bucky comes back a little more whole. There are days where Darcy thinks his smile might actually reaches his eyes. 

With every unsuccessful attempt at ridding the world of a bit more evil, Darcy battens down the hatches and is simply there for Bucky. Together they get through it. Connected.

~ * ~ 

"Doll? You think someone is actually able to say what they are doing what's right if it's an order. I mean, just because you're on the _good guy's_  side doesn't make carrying out the order anything less than a bad thing? Like no matter who's giving the order it's still killing?" Bucky's fingers are laced together and resting on his chest as he stares up to the ceiling of Darcy's room.

"Oh. My. GAWD, BUCKY! Whhhhyy? Why are you always so philosophical when I am just about to drift off?" Darcy throws a pillow off the bed and down at Bucky and he catches it with flawless ease. She peers over the side and reaches out for to retrieve her weapon. "I'm sorry. You were saying?" She adjust herself so she can lay down and still look over the edge at him. He thinks the way she looks right before sleep is his favorite.

"I don't know. It's something that came up in that awful mandated therapy." He says. Darcy shifts and lets an arm come from the bed and dangle near his face. She runs the back of two fingers over his stubble. 

"That's a tough one, Bucko. I guess you just gotta think w _hat's to gain_? I mean, when you went to War, you were defending something yeah? Protecting from a threat to an entire way of life. As... the asset-" Darcy still has trouble with referring to Bucky as his time with Hydra. He hears the word grows thick in her throat. "He was a tool. An enhanced weapon. The people using that weapon weren't really out to protect anything. Yet, had you been... you... it wouldn't of been a question as to whether or not you would have carried out the order because you wouldn't have. I know you." She scratches his stubble once more and he finds he wants to close his eyes and nuzzle her hand back.

She knows him. He lets that wash over him.

"You don't think a little bit of this might have to do with that Mission last week, huh?" She quirks an eyebrow at him. He knows it does. He knows she knows it does. He doesn't make a move to protest otherwise. He just lets a silence fall over the stillness of the night. 

A few long minutes have gone by and when he is sure she is not fully awake to be aware he speaks again.

"Yeah well, like you said. I think I got something worth protecting from this side of right and wrong. Might make things a little easier to handle. Remembering that,  I mean." 

He brings up his metal hand and runs his fingers over the back of Darcy's hands still hanging over the side of the bed. Her breathing is evening out and he knows she is nearly out and will not remember the gesture.

" 'S good, Buck." She gets out weakly. Nearly incoherent from being half asleep. She rolls over, bringing her arm with her.

~*~

It is seven months in when the word "inseparable" was first thrown around when referring to Darcy and Bucky. It takes that long because the shift is gradual and subtle. There is very little touching outside of shows of endearment. Though they are always next to each other. They don't finish each other's sentences aloud. Instead they have cultivated a wordless communication of sorts. Entire conversations had with the top half of their faces and accentuated with the bottom half for emphasis. 

Somewhere in time the strength of their connection became so apparent, everyone took notice.

People were quick to assume things about their relationship based on their markings but Darcy and Bucky were no more romantically involved than Steve and Bucky were romantically involved. Which was to say they weren't. At all. Nada. Nothing. 

"So you guys just spend a lot of time together?" Jane asks looking pass Darcy to Bucky sitting on a stool in front of Darcy's work-space. Darcy had just put her earbuds in Bucky's ears and gave an nod followed by a exaggerated two thumbs up pumping in the air in front of his face. Indicating she had put on a song he should hear. He gives a crinkled chin approval and tilts his head to the floor to better concentrate. As he does so, his long hair blocks a good portion of that handsome mug.

"Yeah?... Why do you ask like that? "  Darcy wasn't sure where this was headed. Thankfully she had a playlist on loop for Bucky, if this was headed some place awkward at least he would be spared.

"I don't know... I guess it's just... Like what do you guys talk about... together?" If this was Jane's idea of delicate prying, Darcy was going to need to hold another class.

Darcy shrugs.

"Stuff? I don't know. What do you and Thor talk about... together?" Two can play that game.

"Well sometimes we get together and decidedly... _don't_...talk about stuff. Umm, do you guys decidedly... _not..._ talk about stuff too?"

"What?! NO!" Whoa. Whammy to the face. "Are you asking if I am having sex with Bucky?!" Darcy says it all in a whisper yell. 

"Well, yeah!" Jane motions to a clueless Bucky."He's here.. alllll the time. You know I don't mind it. He's helpful and polite and great with the heavy lifting, basically more than I can say for you, it's just... what is going on? Do you, uhh umm, _want_  to decidedly  _not_  talk to him?" For a girl who just tried to open Darcy's version of Pandora's box, she sure was sheepish with the last question.

"Jane! It's not like that, okay?" Darcy briefly looks over her shoulder before continuing. "We're just connected. I don't know. He needed me, I was there and now we're here. It's all incredibly simple if you DON'T think about it. Like at all. Never think about it. Ever again. Please." Darcy makes a clearing motion with her hands.

"Have you decidedly  _not_ talked to..." Darcy shoots her a look but Jane chooses not to drop the euphemism now. ".. anyone else since you two have met?"

Again Darcy peeks over at Bucky. He's drumming his fingers on the edge of the desk and Darcy thinks it's adorable. She looks back at Jane and shakes her head.

Jane's eyes go wide. 

"That was forever ago. Aren't you going crazy?!"

Darcy's sighs heavily and nods her head with a defeated look on her face before draping her top half across the counter separating her and Jane. 

Bucky shoots to his feet and Jane puts her hand up to indicate it's nothing more than a flair for the dramatics before Bucky sits back down and places the buds back in his ears.

"Well." Jane says before pushing back the large amount of hair that had gathered front of Darcy's face while flinging herself forward. "I suggest you get on that and go find someone to climb. Then again, seems like such a waste of a smoldering sexy and fantasy inducing Soulmate if you ask me."

Darcy's head pops up.

"Jane. You're not allowed to say my Soulmate is hot. Eww"

Jane gives Darcy a look that screams _sue me._

Darcy stands fully. She turns her back to Jane to rest against the counter and look at Bucky. He meets her eye and gives her a small smile. She returns it with scrunched nose and crinkle around her eyes . Bucky goes back to looking to the floor in concentration.

Maybe Jane was right. Between work and Bucky, Darcy had been holed up on this side of the facilities fence for quite some time. She could use a little fun. Nay, she  _deserved_ a little fun. She deserved to blow off some steam and a little harmless flirtation with someone showing a genuine interest in the possibility of seeing her naked. It would be good for her. 

She was still looking at Bucky. Okay Jane _was_  right about one thing at least. This  _was_ a waste of a perfectly good.. sexy, even?... Soulmate.What a dick move, Universe! She could take some average Joe smhoo not wanting to get tangled up in some sheets with her but to be connected to this... this attractive, prime physical specimen of a carrot dangled in front of her and not even be able to take a nibble... Nibble? Wait? Was she was actually nibbling on the end of her drafting pencil? Oh my God, al'right and take the affected breathing down a notch creeper. Geeze. She was a perv!

Yeah. She needed a night out... and a fan. It was kinda hot in here, right?

"Girls Night Out this weekend?" She ask to Jane behind her but remains focused on Bucky.

"Tequila?" Jane asks hopeful.

"Tequila." Darcy confirms.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> ****Late Note***.  
> I'm sorry! Possible trigger warning!  
> If you've ever had a crappy significant other, this may be kinda sensitive.
> 
> So this chapter is long. Last chapter was a short chapter over a long period of time where as this is a long chapter set over a short period of time. Someone said they wanted to see girls night, I had no intention of wriiting the girls night but I realized it would allow me to use a deleted scene I had kinda showing more of where Darcy is coming from. It a shorter version but it's in there.
> 
> I think the thing to best keep in mind is Bucky and Darcy's relationship isn't "Confusing", it's "Complex".
> 
> Chapter 3 of Kevin Costner Called up by Sunday!
> 
> Important notes to follow.

"You were never offended?" Jane asks as Darcy retrieves the tiny glasses from the bar's surface.

Lick, shot, lime, squishy face, slam it down. 

"Maybe when I was real young and everyone my age was kinda putting together what having Words meant." Darcy shrugs. "But what did I know? My ideal couple was Ariel and Prince Eric and believing in that bullshit will eff you up more than anything."

"I know. It just all seems so... sad." Jane pouts out a bottom lip. She is turned on her bar stool with her feet resting on the bottom of Darcy's.

They are sitting in the middle of the one bar in the closest town. It only gave you the illusion of getting up and out of the facilities for the night because with it being the only watering hole for miles it meant it was filled with every Guard, Superhero, intelligence expert, and/or Scientist with a night off and desire to get thoroughly plastered.

Luckily for her, her Superhero had been called out on a mission two days ago so there was no awkward " _Okay, I am going to go get drunk and wax poetic about what I think you might look like naked with Jane now_ " goodbye. 

"It doesn't have to be. I always equated it to the same as not being marked at all. I've been to enough 'unmarked gatherings' to know people are just as capable of finding enduring happiness without words than those with."

"Wait. Unmarked gatherings"? Are you talking about those groups who would meet on College Campuses and try and get others to boycott their soul marks? Soulmate Revolts?"

"Soulmate Revolts, Jane? This isn't West Side Story. We weren't the Jetts." Darcy delivers dryly just as Jane delves into a fit of laughter and slides off her stool.

Darcy is practically a Saint waiting for her friend to compose herself and resisting the urge to give her a hard smack on the arm. 

"I'm sorry! Sorry!" Jane says as she climbs back into her seat. She lets out a clearing breath and pulls the last two stitches of herself together. "I'm sorry. I think I have had a little too much Cerveza tonight. It's just I've never met anyone who has ever really been to one of those things. At least admitted it out loud, anyways. What is it you guys thought you were going to accomplish?" At the end of there Jane makes a very noticeable shift into a fact hungry Scientist.

"First off, Cerveza is beer." Darcy words are clipped and she turns to motion to the lone bartender for two more shots. "Second, you've got it all wrong. We... they weren't out to accomplish anything. It was just more for support. Like w _hy wasn't I good enough_? But again, I have been to enough unmarked weddings to know happiness is what you make it."

"You wanted to know why you weren't good enough." Jane doesn't ask it. She just says it. She says it as she moves to stand behind Darcy and drapes herself around Darcy's shoulders in an embraces.

"No." Darcy says a little too quickly. "I don't know, maybe. But now things are different. Now Bucky's here. For better or worse, Bucky's here and things are different." She nearly repeats herself. "I realize how well it plays to my lot in life."

"How's that?" Jane asks making her way back to her seat.

"Well, I've always taken care of people, right? I always feel my best when I feel needed. What a better Soulmate to be bound to than some who needs me on Bucky's level?" Darcy gets kinda quite and then finishes. "That's how I see it in my head anyways."

Jane looks blankly at Darcy.

"Okay now this whole thing really _is_  sad!"

"Why?" Asks Darcy.

"Because! What? Are you going to spend the rest of your life fixing Bucky? What about you? What about your wants?! Your needs?!"

Darcy slumps a little.

"I don't know, okay. I haven't thought pass this. I didn't plan on him. I never planned on having a Soulmate sticking around in the first place but I can't turn away from him right now, Jane. I won't."

The space between them grows silent as the noise from the rest of the room blankets around them. Jane reaches out and covers Darcy's hands with one of hers. When their eyes meet, Jane gives  a reassuring squeeze.

Darcy sit a little taller and declares they start a new topic and salvage the rest of their night.

That was when the bartender sets down the ordered shot as well as two Coronas in front of them.

"Sorry for the wait. A little short handed here. However, the shots as well as the beers are on that group of soft spoken gentleman right over there." The bartender tilts his to the left. Darcy picks up the beer and both women turn to look towards the group.

Darcy recognizes them as day shift guards. She makes eye contact with the one looking as if he had been waiting to make her line of sight. He lifts his beer in a greeting and smiles warmly. Darcy reciprocates and lifts her bottle. She then takes a sip around her smile. The guy's head drops coyly.

"Well look at that. Looks like I found away to take care of wants and needs of my own tonight after all." She says while turning back to the bar, ready to play prey in the game of chase as the day guard stands to make his way over to her. Jane reaches for her shot and takes it without out any precursor or chaser.

"Oh boy." Is all she says to Darcy.

~*~

He had an uneasy feeling and was eager to get back to Darcy. Steve smiles on the jet and says it's jealousy. Bucky promptly tells him where he could place his smirk, causing Steve to laugh out loud.

This had nothing to do with knowing she was going out. Okay, that wasn't true. This had everything to do with the fact she was going out. Though it was more so this was the first time she had gone anywhere since they had met and there could be any long list of dangers waiting out in uncharted waters. He needed to see her. He needs to know she had made it home and was tucked in for the night. 

He blew off debriefing and charged the halls to her room still in his tactical gear. He knew he was going to catch shit for it tomorrow but he didn't care.

The door giving way without needing to be unlock was the first sink of his stomach. The two half finished scotch glasses left on the coffee table were his second. Then he hears it. The strangled noise coming from the room.

Darcy was being tortured.

He takes off to her with a start. He barrels through the door and aims for the man lying on top of Darcy, pinning her to the mattress. Darcy is nearly breathless beneath him. 

Bucky reaches for the man and grabs him by the shirt and sweater he wears and holds him until the man's feet dangle slightly off the ground. The man has to claw at the clothing pressing into his neck to beg to breathe.

"Tell me who sent you and I will make killing you quick." Bucky snarls with an anger he is even surprised he was even capable of.

The man chokes and coughs around the cloth cutting into his windpipe. His eyes begin to water profusely.

"BUCKY!" Darcy's voice begins to swim under the current of Bucky's rage. "James!" She snaps and it is enough to draw his attention over to her. She sits perched on her bed, she has made it to her knees and her hands are out to plead with Bucky. "Assess. The. Situation." She says in a calm, direct delivery.

He takes her in. Her lipstick smeared and hair in disarray. She looks freshly and properly kissed. Nearly ravaged. He looks towards the man. His shoes are off and belt buckle undone, though his pants remain in place.

This realization hits the hardest.

The Winter Solider was calm and calculative. Bucky Barnes was skilled and assured. Whoever he is now is angry. Irrationally angry with the man in his grip and furthermore is afraid of his actions if left in the position any longer. 

He pulls the man so his mouth is near the other man's ear. It may have been the only way it was even audible through such a tightly clamped jaw.

"Leave."

He drops the man who lands to his knees and then rests his top half on the foot of the bed collecting himself. Darcy rushes to aid him and it strikes Bucky in the gut once more.

"What? No! Are you kidding me right now?!" She says up to Bucky who remains unmoved. "Pete? Are you okay? Pete?! I'm so sorry. So so sorry." Darcy is fawning over the man and Bucky doesn't like it. Not at all. He especially isn't fond of when Darcy looks up directly at him and say "What has gotten into you?!" He really didn't like that though he doesn't move. She turns back to the man on the floor. "I'm so sorry. My simple minded Grandpa has apparently taken it upon himself to act as a Bodyguard. Pete, say something. Please?"

The man, _Pete_  as Darcy referred to him, coughed. 

"I'm okay." He is now strong enough to make it to his feet and does so at an alarmed pace with Darcy's help."I should go" he says. 

"No don't. You're not the one who should leave." Darcy's eyes shoot daggers at Bucky. Bucky again, does not move. She must realizes it would be a long fought battle so she locates _Pete's_ shoes.

For good measure Bucky growls at the man as the man passes on the way out of the bedroom. Darcy wacks his chest as she walks by. Bucky then turns to stands in the bedroom doorway watching _Pete's r_ etreat.

"I'm so embarrassed." Darcy nearly whimpers after the man. "Seriously, please stay and at least tend to your neck. Get some ice on it?" Bucky realizes he's never seen her this shaken and his first twinge of remorse sets in at causing discomfort.

"No, Darcy. I should go." The man directs his eyes towards Bucky and speaks to Darcy. "I think you should come with me though. I don't feel comfortable leaving you here." _Pete_  didn't feel comfortable leaving Darcy here with him? Who was he to feel more concerned with Darcy's safety? Bucky's anger flares again and he takes a step forward.

Darcy's head snaps and her look pins him in place. He knows she was on fire on the inside. 

Darcy noticeably softens when turning back to _Pete_. Bucky thinks he should of killed him when he had the chance. "No, I'll be fine. Thank you. Again. I am so incredibly sorry."

Darcy shuts the door behind the man and presses her forehead to it. Bucky watches her shoulders rise with two deep, calming breaths.

They didn't work... 

She turns.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" She says in the sharpest of tones.

"Who do I think I am?! Who doesn't he think he-" Bucky is cut off but Darcy growing even more aggravated.

"You have no right! No right at all!"

"Why was he even here, Darcy? You knew I was coming home from mission."

"First off, why should that matter?! Second, I had no idea you were on your way back. I was out. You know, OUT? Enjoying myself?! Then you come busting in through the door-"

"I thought he was hurting you."

"Buck-" She says defeated. Two fingers go to pinch the bridge of her nose. He feels almost silly for allowing himself to think the worse. It's as if all of his progess is slipping. Though it doesn't stop him.

"So this has to do with what you and Dr. Foster were talking about in the labs then, huh?"

"You were listening?"

"Enhance hearing, Doll?" He points to one of his ears. "You want a private conversation?  I suggest you do a little better than some cheap headphones."

She crosses her arms.

"So does it? Huh? Feeling a little couped up? Need some action to liven things up? Was ol' _Pete_  there going to rescue you and make you feel like a woman again?"

"You're out of line." She doesn't yell it but the intention to get him to shut up was clear. He knows she's right. He's just so mad.

 "I'm going to bed." She says. "You're not allowed in." She adds while walking to the door of her room.

"Fine. I'll take the couch." He says as a challenge.

"I'm not bringing out a blanket." She offers as she shuts the door with a little more force than necessary.

"I don't want your sex blanket anyways!" He raises his voice to be heard through the divide.

"I didn't get that far! But maybe next time!" She pings back.

Bucky balls his fist. He is vibrating with hurt and anger. He swipes the glasses off the coffee table and they go crashing into the wall across the room.

The action is enough to reign himself in. He was out of hand and he needed to sit and take a minute. 

With his elbows on his knees and hands gripping his hair, he was breathing like Darcy showed him on the stairs that very first day. It was then the remorse really started to kick in. He didn't want to fight with her. It wasn't her fault his fear turned into all of this. He was afraid of her being harmed. Nothing more. Why had it comes across like it had?

He gets up and walks over to her door. He taps his knuckle twice before walking in. 

"Darcy?" He is greeted with a topless Darcy stuck with her shirt trapping her arms above her head and leaving her chest completely exposed. Bucky can not move.

He's never seen Darcy this close to naked before. He can't stop looking. Her soft curves and ample breast. He's reminded of the first day they met and how he managed to get cradled in there. Only now he is picturing it with her naked. He's picturing it with her naked and his stuble making light pink scratching marks across her flawless alabaster skin.

"Bucky!"

Darcy struggles a bit more and then is able to see him after she bends a bit.

"Oh my Gawd! Why are you still standing there?! Get out!"

As Bucky finally comes to, he is able to move. Darcy frees herself and grabs something to throw at the door. It thuds against it as it shuts.

"I'm, uh. I umm. Sorry! Sorry." Bucky stutters to the door and he is reminded of Steve falling over himself talking to the dames growing up.

He's still chastising himself when the door opens and a pair of his sweats and a under shirt are flung at him before it shuts again. 

~*~

It was the worst nights sleep he had gotten since discovering Darcy's floor.

At some point after sunrise he had enough tossing into the small couch and began the day. 

First he went about cleaning up the glasses he shattered into the wall the night before. After that was done he set on towards making breakfast.

Steve said breakfast was Bucky one shining meal. That when they could afford it, Bucky would really do it up and leave them full until dinner. Which Bucky supposes was probably because with a big breakfast, they couldn't afford lunch. 

He settles on making a little of everything to pass the time. After he finishes the last few touches, he makes himself a plate and seats himself at the table. It was not long after he is sat, Darcy makes her way out. 

She says nothing and he keeps his eye forward and waits for her to come into view.

She wears a little lightweight robe and Bucky finds he wonders what she wears underneath it. He wonders if she had bothered to put anything on after he walked in on her half naked... and then he remembers her half naked.

He was so lost in his thoughts,  Darcy breaking the silence almost makes him jump. 

"If this is your idea of an apology. I'd say you're a little short." Darcy says with her back to him, pouring herself a coffee.

"I hadn't planned on it being one." He says taking a sip of his own coffee. He has one of two options. He can admit he overreacted and have a decent conversation or he could go the route he was about to go. 

"Does _Pete_  have a soul mark?" There was no treading lightly he supposed.

"I don't know. I didn't care to ask."  Her back still to him, fixing herself a plate.

"Seems like something pretty basic to know about someone you feel you know well enough to be sleeping with." He gets a forkfull of pancakes into his mouth and Darcy turns to make her way to the table. 

"Oh no James Barnes. We _DO NOT_  slut shame in this house, do you understand me?!" She sets down her plate across from him and puts her hands on her hips waiting for a reply. He doesn't give her much but she takes his inaction as action enough.

She continues back to the kitchen and goes about placing two pieces of bread in the toaster. Her back is once again towards Bucky as she waits.

"I didn't ask him because I don't see how it's relevant. There are always extenuating circumstances. Maybe he was unmarked. Maybe they met and didn't work out. Maybe they haven't even met yet. Am I to believe you are this blushing virgin, waiting for me the last 97 years? Because we live with a terrifying and lethal Redhead that would suggest otherwise." She looks expectantly over her shoulders at him. He doesn't say anything. "That's what I thought." She retrieves the toast and begins spreading butter over the surface. "Soulmates aren't the end all for everybody, Bucky."

Bucky's heart drops a little at those words.

"Still don't think his Soulmate would appreciate walking in on what I did..."

Darcy shoulders slump. She turns and rest her lower back on the counter.

"Okay. You got me there. I've walked in on Jane and Thor... a lot... to know no matter how close you are to someone, it's always awkward to see them in compromising and intimate situations." She smirks at her thoughtful and delicate wording. "From here on out, any potential gentleman-callers will mean forewarning not to enter the premises." She toast her butter knife into the air. "For that, I am sorry. I get it."

"I don't think you do, Darcy." He takes a sip of his coffee. How could she? He didn't even _get it_ , really. 

Darcy isn't really sure how to respond to that one.  She just kinda dips her head and goes about getting her last few things ready to sit at the table.

"Is there anything you would like to maybe apologize for?" Darcy leads him into.

"Not particularly." Bucky is really channeling Steve's piss 'n vinegar stubbornness this morning. That is until Darcy raises a brow. "I'm sorry I am only a little bit sorry for almost killing a man for whom I thought was hurting you." Bucky brings his head up. "That what you're looking for, Doll?" He smiles while chewing a huge bite.

Darcy rolls her eyes and they continue on in silence.

"How'd you get him in here anyway? I thought all visitors need some sort of clearance."

"They do. He's a guard. He lives in the barracks. _Which_ will make your apology to him directly all that much easier." Darcy stops whatever look he had forming on his face with on look of her own.

Bucky breaths deeply through his nose and a brief standoff forms. It doesn't last though because it is clear to Bucky that Darcy is in it for the long haul and he relents.

"Yeah. Al'right." Bucky dips his head over to work on his nearly finished plate. "Only because you're askin' and not because the guy needs to be left of the hook for going around sniffin' where he don't belong." 

"Whatever that means." Darcy says and Bucky doesn't look up. "While we're at it... I think it's time you got a haircut. While I am sure it's a nifty tool to terrify your enemies in battle, let's soften you up around the edges around here, huh?"

Bucky looks at her with that. He subconsciously runs a hand through his hair. 

"I tried." He says.

"What do you mean tried?"

"I mean I went down to wherever it is Steve gets that awful mop of his done and tried. I got there and there was a chair and someone bringing shiny objects to my head and I panicked. Al'right? I tried." He nearly snaps it at her.

Her face falls. He expects and full inquiry as to when this happened and why didn't he tell her? Instead she remains silent for nearly a full minute. He's not sure what expression she wears nor does he will himself to look.

"I can cut it for you."  It is all she says. 

He looks up at her. She's not pushing the subject. He's incredibly grateful. He feels himself lightening up.

"It's just.... are you any good?" 

She scoffs and throws her balled up paper napkin in his face. He chuckles as it bounces and hit the table.

"I'am going to get in the shower and I take it you can clear up the breakfast mess as penance for your bullshit non-apology. Then you can shower and we'll get on with your morning of beauty."

She walks behind him to make her way to the bathroom. He reaches out for her hand and he pulls her towards him until she is flush against his side. He is still sitting so she drapes her arm around his shoulders when she gets there and his palm goes flat against he backside.

"I'm sorry, Doll." He plays with the tie of her bathrobe, avoiding eye contact. "You are my one true beacon of hope for humanity since I fell from that train over 70 years ago. I would willing go back into the hands of Hydra than know something happen and I wasn't around to protect you. I got carried away." He drops the tie and meets her eye. "But I will _always_  get a little carried away when it comes to you. I'm sorry." He shrugs a bit at the end to dull the intesity.

"Wow." Darcy says breathless. "Bucko-". She pets his hair and kisses the top of his head. "You're still doing the dishes though." She carries on towards the bathroom.

Yeah, he figures as much.

~*~

After her shower Darcy goes about setting up space for a haircut that doesn't look like a former brain wiping station. There's something she never thought she would have to accommodate for...

She slips on a clean pair of leggings and one of Bucky's under shirts. She likes that the fit isn't reveling enough to where she's concerned about being nearly indecent with out a bra on. Plus the V neck doesn't choke her.

She's just about ready when when Bucky steps out of the shower in nothing but a towel. 

Well okay. That's kinda a thing, she thinks. Nearly 8 months of living in the same quarters and she's never seen him so... topless... and wet. Seriously, those drops of water had to be clinging on to his chest for dear life, right? There's no way she'd leave willingly either though. Her mouth goes dry.

"Where do you want me?" He asks drawing her eyes up.

"Uh. Don't you want to get change first?" She points with both thumbs over her shoulder towards her room.

"Unless you picked up the shirt I was wearing,  that was my last clean shirt here, right?" He says gesturing to the shirts she wears.

"Right. Sorry. Do you want it?" She makes a pointing gesture to it to the hem resting at the tops of her her thighs. Bucky seems to get caught on something. He swallows hard and it seems to bring him back. He puts up a hand a waves it off.

"It's fine." He moves towards the chair.

"Right. Okay. So I will stay in the shirt and you'll just stay looking like everything I've ever wanted for my birthday since puberty. Right. Okay." She says to no one in particular. "You know, I've never actually seen your mark." She directs towards it with the comb in her hand.

Bucky looks down at the words written below his left pec and mindlessly rubs his hand over it in a way Darcy assumes must have been a lifelong tick.

"Yeah. Here it is. I hadn't actually got a look at your's until last night either." Bucky is nearly blushing. Huh?

"Last night?" Oh! She nearly forgot in all her righteous anger. Bucky totally perved out on her last night. Don't make it weird, don't make it weird. "Well first peep is free. Next time will cost ya." She says with a wink. That wasn't weird, right?

~*~

Darcy had ask him how he wanted his hair and he honestly didn't know. He told her to cut it how she saw him.

That's where they are now. The tail end of his haircut. He watched strand after strand fall to the floor. With each fallen piece he felt a little weight of his imprisonment lifted. He was becoming even less of their asset and more of his own man again. Much of it to thank of the women standing directly in front of him, no doubt.

She comes at him with some clean smelling pomade and a comb. She knocks open his knees with hers and makes space for herself between his legs. She is so close to him, Bucky can actually see the start of her words through the V in his shirt that she wears.

He brings his soft flesh finger up and across her collar. He swipes the shirt to side, reveling as much that can. He takes his littlest finger on the same hand and runs it across the statement. The words that have bound them for eternity. The luckiest lotto he's ever won. He looks up at her and smiles.

"How much did that one just cost me?" He laughs and she rolls her eye. 

He's still laughing when he notices his hand is still in place. He concentrates on his hand on her.  He slowly and lightly runs the tips if his fingers over the shirt, back across her until they come to rest at a point above the start of  the mound of her opposite breast. He then directs his fingers under her arm and goes as far back until his thumb run parallel with the heartiest part of her chest. He almost surprised by her rib cage being actually quite petite, despite her larger than life personality. Her chest may also skew the dynamics. 

Shifting the padded part just below his thumb he can tell her breast are of enormous weight. He stretches the digit across her breast to what he assumes is the far side of her areola and slowly yet firmly draws his finger back. His excitement swells at her nipple growing hard under his touch. He does the action once more only this time he reaches further down to lift some of the weight once again.

As his hand slides from the point of contact to snake further around her back and rest there, his metal hand comes up and settles itself on the back of her thigh. The sensors not only pick up the softness of her leggings but the warmth beneath them. He lays his palm flat and continues running his hand up until he has reached her rear. A marvel. He alternates kneading it slightly with the tips of his fingers and running a palm across it. His flesh hand burrowing a greedy fist full of shirt behind Darcy and using it to direct her further into his space.

She complies and the hand from her rear finds its way to the swell of her hip. Bucky presses his face into Darcy. Her scent filling his veins. He wants to live inside her where he will never be without the smell of her. 

His metal hand runs along the remaining space and moves up to cup the bottom of Darcy's left breast. His mouth is next to follow. He first test the area's density by preforming long, slow and steady open mouth nips into the malleable flesh. He continues on until he finds the center. He wants to make this side as hard as he made the other. He finds it with his mouth. He can feel a heated dampness transfer from his mouth to the cloth above her nipple just before he hears the slight moan escapes from her lips. 

It is what stills him. It is what causes them both to still and tense. 

How had he even let it get this far? He hand touched her mark, sure but she deserves better that being felt up by half a man with a mile long list of issues.

He lets go of Darcy and uses her hips to further her away from him slowly.

He looks down to find the horror only grows. Somewhere in the molestation of his Soulmate his arousal grew and shifted the placement of the towel around him. Leaving the still hard shaft exposed. He quickly moves to rearrange it. After Darcy places both hands on either of the outside of his shoulders. It causes him to look up for the first time. He wants to apologize until there is no breath left to fill his lungs.

"Darcy. I am so sorry. That was unacceptable-  It's just been so- and you were- you must be-" Not a single complete and coherent thought would form. His mind running faster than his mouth. He is urged to silence with Darcy's comforting shushing. She brings a hand out to rest on the side of his face. She draws him in to tuck his head under her chin. This time he almost feels guilty for allowing her scent to calm him. It is like he has tainted it.

"I don't know who I was there, Doll. I hate how much it must have scared you." He says into her skin.

She pulls back. She now has a hand on either side of his face. Searching his features and zeroing in on his eyes.

"Hey. Hey. Look at me. Shhh. Shhh. Look at me." She nearly whispherd as she wipes a bit of dampness from his his forehead.

"Shhh. You did nothing wrong. Okay, James Barnes? You did nothing wrong." She repeats and he would be inclined to believe her if he didn't want to hit something until his fist bled. 

They stand like that for a moment longer before she preens his hair once more and goes about cleaning up the hair around him.

He can hear her cry softly as she sweeps up the floor so he stays in place. Unsure.

When a knock on the door came, Darcy clears her throat and takes a deep breath before nearly shouting "Come in".

Steve comes through the door and Bucky stands.

Steve stops dead in his tracks and Bucky assumes he can sense the less-that-honorable-intent. Bucky's head dips.

"Buck." Steve breaths out. "You look... You look like, well you look like _you_."

Bucky had forgotten all about his haircut. A hand shoots to the shortened locks. She really did take a lot off.

Darcy appears next to Steve. To Bucky her eyes are slightly puffy behind her glasses.

"Yeah. There was this picture at the Smithsonian exhibit. I went before I signed on here. Anyways, there was this picture of you guys just after some mission. I remember how proud Bucky stood and just thinking "that is the epitome of Brave and Valiant". I guess you can say it was my muse." She shrug dramatically. 

That was how she saw him.

Steve passes a glance between the two of them sharing a silent exchange and then takes in Bucky's state of undress and quite possibly picks up on Darcy in Bucky's shirt.

"I'm not uh.. interrupting anything, am I?"

"What? No!" Darcy says guiltily.

Steve smirks.

"Good." He turns to Bucky. "You ducked out on debriefing last night. We need your accounts of what happened so we can get things in order."

"Right." Bucky says and is thankful for his escape.

He excuses himself to collect his clothes from where he shed them last night and enters the shower once more. He makes a point not to look in the mirror and changes back into his tactical gear. He re-enters living room where he is certain he doesn't want to know what Steve and Darcy were talking about.

"Ready?" He asks Steve.

Steve nods and says his goodbyes to Darcy before making his way out the door.

Bucky goes to follow.

"But you're coming back though? Right?" Darcy asks and Bucky turns with his hand on the door. "After you get that squared away, you'll be back?" It's  the first time Darcy had ever had to ask if Bucky would be back in the space they practically shared.

All he could do was give a half hearted nod. Like a coward.

 ~*~

Darcy laid awake most of the night waiting for Bucky to come back. 

She didn't know what she would say when he got there but she knew she had to try and say something. 

A natural lifetime's worth of capture to comprehend and now with his libido seems to be coming back to him? Gaw, puberty was rough enough the first time.

Only now he hangs his head in his hands because he placed mistaken affection on Darcy? This was too much for words... more so considering Darcy wasn't even offended. Not even a little bit. Not even remotely. Just the opposite, actually.

She cared for Buck in a way that does not compare to the way she cared for anyone else. As soon as the fleshy pad of his thumb grazed her, she knew she was content to let him explore. Let him re-familiarize himself with the female form. She doesn't know how far she would have let it go. Though, somewhere in between the dizzying effects of the dual hot and cold sensations from his touch, she crossed a line of "completely experimental" to _slightly_ aroused.

When her body betrayed her and called her out with a slight moan, it had scared Bucky. He retreated like an abused puppy to whom positive touch was so foreign. Her heart broke and she moved on to cleaning up the hair so he wouldn't see her cry.

She was going to make this right. She would wait up for Bucky.

Only Bucky didn't come back that night. In fact, Bucky stayed away the next two nights too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost: Darcy Lewis does not allow Slut Shaming in her house and I do not allow it in mine. If your comment has to do with such, please refrain from making it or should you be met with a very sharp tongue in return. Please and Thank you.
> 
> Lastly, Bucky kinda seem all over the place, right? As much as I have a big ole crush on my Bucky from James Buchanan Barnes is my Personal Trainer, I wanted to show more of his recovery here. To me, that would have it's back and forth. 
> 
> Again, he's not "confusing", he's "complex".
> 
> Thanks for reading! all of the comments and kudos has renew my interest in this. I am glad I finally brought it out of drafts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full Disclosure: I wasn't a fan of the flow of the last Chapter. Thanks to everyone who didn't jump ship while I figured out a way to pull it back in this chapter. Also, I just want to say. I am so in love with the first scene of the NEXT chapter. Stay tuned!

He was once a phantom. In and out before anyone without inside knowledge knew his actions had just shaped the century a little more. 

Darcy Lewis. A woman with extremely limited, if any, special training seemed to think all of that was hogwash seeing how he couldn't even sneak in after she had long gone to bed.

"I would have left you the good pillow you like but quite frankly, you do not deserve it. Three nights, James Barnes?!" She rolls over to face him as she finishes. He stops mid-grab of the pile of pillows and blankets she leaves folded at the foot of the bed for him.

"Christ Woman, do you ever sleep?" He bows his head in defeat and continues reaching for the items to make himself a spot on the floor. "I have been pacing outside your front door for two hours waiting for you to go to bed. Then another half a hour for you to doze off." He drops everything in position.

"I know. I heard you. Why do you think I waited up?" She's now propped up on her elbow. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Bucky is climbing into his makeshift bed when he groans. "I don't, Doll. I really, really don't. I spent two nights on mission, then one horrible nights _not_  sleeping on your doll furniture size couch and _then_  three in my own room pretending I didn't miss you more than I feared how mad you were because I knew I had upset you but couldn't man up to check on you. To top it all off, No, I do not want to talk about it but I know how much you deserve to. At least some sort of explanation. I know that quack Doctor would congratulate me and say it's progress because my recovery is shifting from a selfish standpoint to a selfless one. Though it doesn't feel selfless. It feels like I just want an as decent of a nights sleep as I can get _so_ I can give you all the sappy heartfelt emotion you deserve. _But_ I can't do that unless I slip in and listen to you breath while I fall asleep. So no. I don't want to talk about it."

He finishes and adjust himself so he's laying on his right side with his back to bed.

A brief moment ticks by and Darcy kicks off the covers and makes her way out of bed. She rounds him so her feet are pointed towards his chest. He looks up from his pillow. She stands above him in a pair of short sleep shorts and a flimsy tank top. She uses her foot to nudge him and push back the blanket a little bit before making her way to the floor. 

She tucks under the blanket and into his space . 

"Here, move this here." She goes about pulling his arm from under his pillows so she can rest her head on his bicep. They lay parallel though that is the only point of contact. That was until Darcy leans forward and brushes back the hair he had not really done much to since he left and kisses his forehead.

"What was that for?" He asks before he left himself enjoy the moment.

"You're talking about it." She says with a hand resting on his cheek.

"Okay? What's this then?" He motions to their positioning.

"Oh. You're not the only who had three solo nights to rack their brain. I'm going to make touch less taboo. It's best you probably go with." She crinkles her nose and nods along at the end.

"You don't think that's part of the problem, Doll? All the more reason maybe I should stay away some? You deserve more than some guy who-" He hesitates to find the words. There was no point in not being honest now with her so receptive and not telling him to kick rocks for disappearing on her. "I find I want to touch you... all of the time. I just want to know what your hair feels like when you wear those soft curls. I wonder how the small of your back would conform under my hand when you're ahead of me out the door of the lab and I want to lead you through. You fall asleep on the couch watching your horrible taste in movies and I have never been more jealous of an inanimate object more in my life. Drool or not."

Darcy smacks his chest. "I do not drool!" She nearly squeals.

"You do and it's adorable." He brings his metal hand up to slowly moves a hair that has fallen near her face and places it behind her ear. He searches for her eyes. "It all makes me feel like a part of myself I can't remember. I want to touch you and I don't know what to do with that."

She gives as tiny reassuring smile and takes his hand. She brings it down to rest on her exposed hip. His eyes follow and take in what she looks like under his metal hand.

"So touch me." She says with confidence. "I'm all for positive affection. Just because we're not going to sleep together, doesn't mean we can't be friends who happened to hug... or fall asleep on during a totally awesome, not at all horrible, movie. Whatever." They both smile. "You could use the interaction, Bucko. Relax a little."

"The other morning though..." He trails off. He feels silly being shy to bring it up considering it was literally the topic of conversation.

"You think you hurt me in some way? Took advantage?" His head dips in the small space between them. "Then you don't give you or I enough credit. I could have totally handled not only myself, but you, had the attention become _... unwelcome._ " She stretches her eyes at the last word. He knows she was trying to be delicate but he wants to know just how welcome it was but he doesn't ask. He knows that knowing either way would haunt him. 

The conversation falls silent as Darcy begins to play with Bucky's hair. 

"You know what we need?" Darcy breaks through. 

"What's that, Doll?" Bucky feels himself lulled equally by her touch as the smell of dusted Rose petals coming off her.

"A vacation." Darcy nearly sighs at the thought. Her mind obviously wandering off to a beach and drinks with bright umbrellas.

"Yeah, you know what they say; No rest for the recently reformed super assassins."

"Stop. I'm serious. This place? Don't you ever just feel... trapped?" He quirks a brow at her question.  This was a better captive than what he has experienced. Much better with the heat of a Dame pressing her soft parts into him and running her fingernails across his scalp. "Okay, bad choice of words. It's just that... in here were small pieces of a much larger puzzle. We don't really exist. We work and sacrifice so others can live. Wouldn't it be fun to get out for a couple of weeks and just be James and Darcy? Be some resemblance of relatively normal people, just out in the world?"

"Those are some pretty deep thoughts to be spontaneous." His eyes close at Darcy finding a particularly sensitive spot behind his ear.

"Well maybe I just realized that I have never really gone out and had fun with you. Like ever." His eyes open at this and he looks at her. "Don't get me wrong, I enjoy your company more than most, I am just also well informed that Bucky Barnes is more than capable of having a good time. I'd just like to see it." She places and hand on his face once more. "Get that heartthrob smile to reach allllll the way up here." Darcy giggles as she traces the top of his cheek.

"I'd like that too. Just don't think we can swing it."

"Oh yee of little faith. You leave that to me. I'll find a way." She rolls to her back and Bucky's hand goes from her hip to just below her navel. He looks to Darcy to see if he should move it but she makes no notice of it and looks up to the ceiling plotting something. "Hmmm. Where to go? Where. To. Go?" She looks at him "I mean where  _can_ we go without you causing an international incident by setting foot on the soil, really? Half of Europe is probably out." She redirects to the ceiling and says aloud but not really to him. "It's fine though, we'd waste our window on travel time. Domestic travel is our best bet." She looks at him once again and Bucky is trying to gauge if she really needs him here for this conversation. "So where to?" That was definitely to him.

"Oh... huh. Well Steve says-"

"If you say Coney Island I am kicking you off the trip. It would be kinda sad to go on "Bucky and Darcy's Great Adventure" as just Darcy." She lifts a hand as if the title of the adventure was written on a marquee.

"You didn't let me finish. Steve says I use to really enjoy it. When we could scrape the money for rides. Thought it might be kinda interesting to see what I found so great about it."

Darcy sighs.

"Ugh. I am really going to need you not to play the mind-wiped assassin card so much." Bucky actually laughs at that though he is certain she is serious. It felt so good to laugh, he'd just gone through three days of torture without her close. "Fine!" She throws up her hands. "We'll aim for the general area but no promises."

"Al'right." He smiles. "Same to you, though. Getting the time and freedom away from here seems like a long shot. I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"Oh, it's gonna happen. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. It may not be three weeks from now but, oh yes, it will happen!" Her voice is raised in a triumphant battle cry and Bucky's head is down and he is laughing in the curve of her neck. "I hope that's the laughter of unyielding support there, Bucko." She calls the situation back to order. "This is going to be the best Friends-cation, ever!"

Bucky's laughter dies a bit.

"You keep saying that. Is that what we are?" He instantly regrets asking. He can feel his ease slipping.

"Friends? " She asks, nearly as confused as he. "No, were totally more. We're best friends. I shouldn't have to tell you that. Plus Jane thinks were borderline codependent and dysfunctional. Sooo that may mean we've even hit some sort of enlightened friend tier." Darcy says with a smile.

Honestly, he would have at least rather she said "bound" or "marked" or any thing used to describe what they literally are. Even if it wasn't the word he would use to describe what he one day wants them to be.

Darcy yawns into his arm.

"I'm getting sleepy. How about we put vacation plans on hold?" She makes eye contact with him and waits for his reply. He nods and she kisses his forehead once more.

"Night, Bucko." She says getting up.

"Goodnight, Doll." Bucky sinks to his pillow and regrets letting his question take all the contentment he got from being so close to Darcy.

"Oh! How did you like your hair?" She ask tucking herself back into bed.

"My hair?-

_He auto-piloted his way through his portion of debrief and report filling. He could not stomach what had just happened in Darcy's apartment. The lack of self-control and the self-loathing join heavy in his chest. It hadn't compared though, to the guilt of how much it must of scared her_

_He knew he had wanted to touch her in a way that made both of them feel alive for the past couple months, he just pictured it being down the road and after he felt a little more whole._

_Now he had gone and jumped the gun and potentially spooked them both. He wasn't the kind of man she deserved. Not yet. Maybe not for a long time. He needed to hold out longer and he couldn't. He was a punk._

_"Anything else to add, James?" Natasha asked pulling you from his thoughts._

_"No." Is all he says but she wears a question on her face. Natasha looks him over a bit more._

_"Okay. You're dismissed." Bucky stands and makes his way towards the locker room to change from his gear. "I like your haircut by the way. That Darcy does nice work." He can hear the smile in her voice but he doesn't turn._

_Once in the locker room he goes for the mirror above the sink._

_At first it's almost like he has seen a ghost. He knows this is what nearly left Steve speechless when he walked in Darcy's front door. He leans closer to the mirror. It's almost as if he is waiting for it to be a trick._

_Once his eyes roam the rest of his face, his hand comes up to his now three day beard. He goes to his locker and retrieves his shave bag. He mindlessly rids himself of the facial hair, eager to be rid of it._

_The final swipe from the towel and everything is clean and cleared. He stands straight takes it in._

_He was closer._

_He was closer to being a man he might like. Once he reached there, maybe he could be a man Darcy could be in love with._

-oh yeah. I liked it, Doll. You did a good job. Thanks."

"I'm awesome." Darcy half mumbles. James smiles and waits for her to fall asleep so he can listen to her breath.

~*~

Jane was wrong. Touching more a total great plan. 

"You're not remembering it right." Jane corrects Darcy as Darcy relays how Bucky's first night back in her room went. "I never said you shouldn't touch more. Just the opposite actually. Do you also remember what else I said?" Jane lifts her coffee.

_Darcy tiredly schlep it to the Lab after staying up all night waiting for Bucky to come back so they could talk about the morning... and maybe address the whole throwing Pete out thing._

_She had half a mind to track him down and force him to come home but first she needed female reinforcements._

_She finishes telling Jane every last detail. Jane stands with her mouth open and brings the fingertips of both hands to her temples_ _and make counterclockwise circles._

_"Ugh, I thought there was nothing to make a two day Tequila hangover worse. The Scientist in me thanks you for proving there is always other possible angles out there. The friend in me wants to clobber you over the head. Seriously, Darcy?! You seriously don't see it? It hasn't occurred to you that James was jealous?! He threw that poor guy out of your apartment! Have you been spending so much time holed up with him that, that behavior is normal?!" Jane begins to pace. Talking aloud but not actually to Darcy. "You know my Mom always said; 'Janey, get your head out of the stars every once in awhile or you're going to be out of touch with people.' When I met Thor, I thought she was on to something. So much time trying to find whats out there and low and behold; I'm an Astrophysicist with a Soulmate who fell out of the sky!" She looks at Darcy "And poor you. So much time trying to fix shattered Superheros and you, yourself, become just as clueless." She pauses and get sympathetic. "Darce, honey? He threw a guy out of your apartment." Jane delivers the last part as if talking someone off the ledge. Coaxing them back to reality._

_"Yeah. Becaaauuuse he thought the guy was some HYDRA plant or something." Darcy does up her face in defiance. Basically the physical embodiment of the word "duh"._

_Jane sighs._

_"Again, ... that's not normal!!!" Jane shoots her hand up, palm out and then pauses. "However, we need to go over the fact that he told him to leave after he realized he wasn't."_

_"Whatever. Jane, were missing the point. What do I do about the touching?"_

_Jane throws her pencil up in defeat._

_"That IS the point! He wants to touch you! He wants to touch you and he doesn't want anyone else to touch you!_

_Darcy doesn't really hear Jane. She is too busy going over a game plan._

_"Hmmm. Maybe I should get him a hooker? Nooo. That's weird, right?" Darcy picks up Jane's pencil and taps it on the desk. "Who would be in charge of medical funding for a sex surrogate?..." Darcy jumps. " Whoa! Did you really just throw a book at the wall?"_

_Jane is huffing and looking at Darcy. She collects herself and continues ever so gently._

_"Hey. I've got an idea..." She lures Darcy in._

_"Finally." Darcy mumbles under her breath._

_"How about you touch him?" Jane delivers in a crisp yet sweet tone._

_"I'm not sure I follow?"_

_"You're not sure you?-" Jane dips her head, taking a deep breath and swallows back a large lump before beginning again. "Okay. What I am saying is... James is in need of positive physical interaction, right?"_

_"Yeah? Kinda what we're talking about Jane." Darcy does a half roll of the eye._

_Jane gives a brief, tight smile._

_"You should be the one to do it. He trust you AND WANTS TO TOUCH YOU... You could even, I don't know, go out. Like dates or something... with your Soulmate... who wants to touch you."_

_"Ooooh! I see what you're saying! Kinda like date him! Get him reacquainted with the World of Women! Jane. If your Noble prize doesn't come soon enough, I tell ya! A genius!"_

_Darcy looks to the ceiling as planning for the ruse has already gotten underway._

_"No Darcy. I am saying like_  actually _date him." Jane has all but given up and picks up her forgotten work._

_"You're right."_

_"I am?" Jane's head pops up._

_"Yeah. I should totally go out and have fun with him. I mean, we're practically bffs."_

_"Yeah, Darce. Whatever." Now Jane had officially given up. "You're practically Bffs."_

"I heard no hooker and get out more. Am I missing something?"

Jane goes to speak and thinks better of it.

"No Darcy. That was the gist of it. Godspeed!"

"Thanks Buddy!" Darcy smiles and goes about getting to work for the day. Bucky was back, things were smoothed over. Life was pretty good.

~*~

Darcy knew Bucky was touch starved but the way he took to touch was surreal. It was determined yet comfortable. At first, Darcy quickly learned Bucky's touch fell into one of two categories: the saver or the saved. 

Bucky loved to protect... from anything. He would come up behind a sure footed Darcy as she reached for something on a tall shelf in the cupboard. He would rest a hand on her back and use the other to guide whatever she was bringing down so not to let it fall on to her head. Darcy is pretty sure she didn't risk a concussion from a bag of cotton balls but she thanked Bucky just the same.

One particularly emotional battle with Premenstrual Syndrome, a sappy commercial for irritable bowel medication came on in between innings of the televised Dodgers game. Darcy found herself crying over the bride waiting on her father to finish in the John before walking her down the isle. Bucky wordlessly set his beer on the side table and reached for Darcy. He pulled her so as he sat back on the couch, her cheek laid flat against the left side of his chest just above his soul mark. He went about pulling her far arm across him. She took the encouragement and pulled her feet up and nestled further into his side, under his metal arm. Bucky lifted his feet to the coffee table. He retrieved his beer with one hand and played with the hair falling over her outside shoulder with the other. Darcy drifted off for an afternoon nap listening to the mumbling words vibrating through Bucky's chest.

"This team wouldn't suck so bad if they had stayed in Brooklyn."

Darcy suspects that's how Bucky asked Sam for recommendations of any and every sad movie he could think of. Darcy also suspects that's also how they spent one post-mission wind down with Bucky's head resting on Darcy's lap as she dragged her fingernails across his scalp and he sniffled his way through Brian's Song.

If asked about it, Bucky will remind you that Assets don't cry. However, he knows if it means he can spend the better part of the night being comforted by Darcy? Well then he would willingly cry as if the little Dutch boy finally removed his finger from the dam.

That's how the touching carried on for two more months. It never reached the same feverish rush of that first morning. It really didn't even reach of level of elevated intimacy until Darcy had taken Buck out dancing.

Originally Darcy worked Bucky up to the idea of going out for the sake of fun slowly. There was the night they watched a movie at his place. Followed by Darcy suggesting they stay there for the night. Only Bucky wasn't too keen on Darcy taking the floor, though she insisted because it was his room. Then he really wanted his pillow from her bed so they left after half a hour. They were back in Darcy's room and saying their Good Night's shortly after.

She organized pizza and games nights in the facilities' common area and invited everyone. When those became so incredibly popular among the entertainment deprived residents, she left it to take a life of its own and found other avenues to bring she and Bucky out of their comfort zone. 

Then there was the night they actually went out for pizza. It was a really, really big deal. Checking out at the front gate with Bucky made her feel like she was on special covert mission. She even talked Bucky into waiting outside the pizza parlor while she cased the joint.

Bucky nearly double over from laughter watching her through the window of the nearly empty restaurant with her fingers clasp and pointed out like a gun. She hid behind the large Arcade style game and rolled into an attempted somersault to land behind a table bench. She came up short and flat on her back in the small isle made from the rows of tables. Bucky had to come in and assure the owner she wasn't drunk. They turned into fits of giggles as they waited for their pie.

After that, she knew they had to try the bar.

Word caught wind that Darcy was taking Bucky out to the town's drinking establishment. Steve wanted to come for support and Natasha for her own amusement. She figured everyone else in tow could just use a drink.

Leaving the compound this time didn't hold nearly the same level of excitement. Steve had been with them and they were cleared through gate rather quickly. Darcy frowned at the lack of adventure. She sat perpendicular on Bucky's lap on the crowded second row seat in the borrowed passenger van. Bucky moved a steady hand back and forth across her lower back. She turned to him giving her a small, reassuring smile despite his own nerves. She used the hand of the arm she had around his shoulder to tug at his earlobe and stay focused on the mission at hand: have a memorable time out with her Soulmate.

The entire group grabbed a couple tables towards the back. Darcy and Sam, with a little help from Jane, take it upon themselves to catch a good portion of the group up on social norms.

Then those alike who can and cannot feel the effects of alcohol begin to drink. A while after that, those who can feel the effects of alcohol, start to. Further after that, the dancing begins.

Jane is in the middle of the rant on how she never does karaoke duets with Darcy anymore. Jane claims Darcy  _always_ gets to be Ja Rule in their I'm Real collaboration, leaving Jane always to be J. Lo. Darcy turns her head, she's breathless from laughter and Bucky has his eyes fixed on her. He must have been watching her the whole time. He has a warm, comfortable smile across his face. He reaches out for her hand. She follows his nod for her to comes closer and she brings an ear up to his mouth. She is so close that his lips touch her as he talks and his warm breath billows down the back of her neck.

"You've never looked more beautiful." He says and she coyly pulls away and bats her lashes at the compliment. He pulls her close once more. "Dance with me?" He asks and Darcy nods _yes_ from behind her blush. 

Bucky with an assurance that certainly has not been dusted off outside of official mission, both for and against evil, in nearly 75 years, stands and reaches for Darcy's hand. 

The group grows quite to watch.

Bucky leads a trailing Darcy to the floor. It's as if everything, everywhere wills itself to obey his swagger because the music immediately changes and something slow begins to play.

"Thank God." He smiles, pulling her close with his metal arm wrapped around the small of her waist. She follows with her arm on his shoulder and fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He takes their remaining hands and curves his over the back of her's before bringing them both to his chest.

"What's wrong? Afraid of a little uptempo?" She teases. "I was under the impression that Bucky Barnes could _cut a rug_ '." She drags the fingers at his neck.

"Bucky Barnes  _can_ cut a rug. Thank you." He minics and then tilts his head to her. "James Barnes, however, wants to spend a little time pressed into his girl." He pulls her in a bit tighter and Darcy is actually at lost for words. She rest her head on Bucky's chest and lets him sway them to the music.

There were three calls to assemble in the four weeks after that. For Bucky, pulling Darcy in became both a pre and post mission ritual. It was as if it was his anchor. As if it reminded him why he had to go and why he fought so hard to make it back.

The very last mission had been a particular rough one. Bucky finds Darcy in the lab before getting changed. She greets him, unaware of his woe. He closes the space between them with determined strides.

He has her so close. His nose and mouth pressed into the top of her head, breathing her in. He has both of his arms wrapped over her's so she bends at the elbow to get her arms as far around him as they will go and she squeezes. He pulls back and kisses her forehead twice. She looks up at him. She thinks he might actually kiss her. His eyes search hers. She wets her lips. She waits for it. Time ticks by slowly and something in his intensity softens. He puts a hand back to the back of her head and draws her under his chin once more. He holds her like that until Jane appears and ask him how the mission went.

~*~

"Darcy, this is serious." Steve was using his oppressing and commanding version of Captain America, that he so often uses when he wanted Darcy to do something. She scooted about him, still trying to get her work done.

"I agree, Steve. It is both serious as it is delicate. I am sorry if you're confused as if any of those two words describe anything I am capable of but I am not."

"Well aside from studying Political Science at length before moving fields, you not only care about Bucky's well being but for some incomprehensible reason you seem to care about Stark's too. I think it's a whole hell of a lot better than me taking Bucky in. We finally got Tony to agree to look at Buck's arm. I don't want to burn a bridge and let this be the last time as well."

Darcy knew Bucky's arm was in need of some Stark level service. Though given Bucky's actions, which were no fault of his own, through Hydra, Darcy didn't think she would ever see the day.

Darcy goes to explain once more why she is literally the worse choice for the tasks when Mr. Tall, Dark and not nearly as Broody walks into the lab. He is there to collect Jane and Darcy to escort them to lunch. He smiles at her while raises his brow playfully. Then does he notice the 6'2" mass of muscle also in the work space. He gets more business and nods to Steve while straightening himself. He turns back to Darcy and winks over a smile he reserves just for her. He makes it to one of the higher counter tops and turn to lean his back to it. His arms crossed and ankle over ankle with his legs out. He waits.

Darcy takes him in and a plan forms...

"What's the travel window look like?" She says to Steve while looking to Bucky.

"24 hours. In and out." Steve answers quickly. Darcy brings her eyes to Steve's. 

"I think you know as well as I do, it doesn't matter who wears the impressive Hydra tech, Stark is going to need at least 3 days to drool over it." 

Steve sighs because he knows where she's going. Bucky's smiles and becomes an instant in cahoot.

"Were going to need,  I don't know... Seven days, to properly wrangle Tony's excitement in. Don't you think?" Darcy lays out the initial bid.

Jane has now begun to tune in to the conversation.

"No." Steve puts his hands on his hips, fighting to retrieve the control Darcy swiped from underneath him.

"Five." She counters.

"Three. You can have three days." He must see it's easier not to fight. Bucky relaxed smile agrees with the sentiment.

"Great so with travel time, we'll make it an even four."

Steve scoffs out a laugh. 

"You're taking the Quint jets. There's not much need for that.

"No. We're taking the train." She looks at Bucky. His face in awe. "Like normal people."

"Absolutely not-" Steve begins as Darcy turns her back and slowly looks over the file in her hand.

"Do give my regards to Pepper, would ya?"

Steve grumbles and runs a hand through his hair. Darcy looks at him from over her shoulder.

"Fine." He says in the tightness of tones. "You can have four days and no one on my team hears about this." Steve drags a finger between them, seemingly referring to the negotiations.

"Deal!" Darcy's shrewd demeanor drops and she jumps in delight. When Bucky lets out a laugh her attention is drawn to him once again.

"Do you know what this means, Bucko?" She shrieks. "Say it!" She slowly begins to make her way over to him. She bubbling with excitement.

"A vacation." He says nearly unaffected for Steve's sake. Darcy stops.

"Oh, no. You can do better than that. Do you know what this means, Bucko?!" Darcy nearly shouts it.

"A vacation." This time its both unguarded and excited. He uncrosses everything and stands to brace himself to catch Darcy who is making her way straight for him. She leaps into his arms.

"A vacation!" She shouts and Bucky laughs from really deep down. Even Jane can't control the smile spread across her face. If Steve had not felt so taken, maybe he would have joined in on the fun too.

Darcy slides from Bucky's arms.

"Come on my noble steed, we've got packing to do!" Bucky turns his back to Darcy and she jumps on for a piggy back ride. "To the suitcases!" She cries and now even Bucky shakes his head at her but complies with a lighthearted sigh.

Once they have left the room and the other two in the lab fully watch the pair's retreat, Steve turns to Jane.

"Do you happen to know what exactly is going on there?"

Jane puts up both hands to stop him.

"I stopped asking months ago."

Jane looks back down at her work as Steve nods in agreement.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question, comments and concerns always welcome and greatly appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6 (Chapter 6A)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever spend whole heaps of time reading Sarcastic_fina and then you can't bring yourself to pick up and work on your own story because you'll never be on that level? That's where I have been.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me. I am blown away by the jump in kudos and subscriptions from the last chapter! Your reward is a four part update!
> 
>  This is where we learned a little more about Darcy. When I started this piece, I cut up 3 chapter to make it one. Now that I now this is a story I want to finish, I am taking one chapter as drawing it out to 4 parts. So if the point seems a bit repetitive, just remember, this was a single chapter 2 weeks ago. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Fun Fact..if you Google where Stark Tower should be it's actually the same block as Grand Central Station... but humor me and assume it's a brief cab ride. Please and thank you. Enjoy

She slips back into the rear facing seat next to him. He continues to watch the countryside zip up from behind them and then pass just as quickly.  She wraps one arm over and one arm under his metal arm covered by a light Fall coat. She slouches in her seat so when she turns, she can rest her chin on his shoulder while pressing into him.

"How many times do I gotta tell you, Bucko? If you keep scowling at your own thoughts like that, you're going to need Botox." She removes her top hand to lay a flat thumb between his brows. She gives it a brief rub as if to erase the lines. He misses the scent at her pulse point as soon as she draws her hand back. Although, having her tuck it back between them is a small consolation prize.

"Forgive me, Doll. It's just the last time I remember being on a train, it didn't end too well for me. Yet, here you got me barreling through upstate New York. Headed straight toward a Stark none the less."

Even though there is no amusement in his tone, Darcy goes a step further to let him know she didn't find any with a tight rise of her brow.

"I'm sorry. James, is it? Have you done much train travel before this? Because if you are referring to the famed Howling Commando for whom you share a name, and _his_  experience on a train? Then you must be mistaken. You are James Barnes, personal masseuse to the rich and famous, just out enjoying a long weekend." She shifts again to offer her hand for greeting. He begrudgingly plays along and takes her hand for a brief shake. He knows she'll get him to play along eventually. He might as well speed it up. "Darcy Lewis. Lion tamer extraordinaire." Darcy lifts her chin with pride.

He can't help but smirk at her. She was almost too damn delightful for her own good sometimes. He uses the hand he still holds to sharply pulls her in and nuzzles into her ear.

"I think you maybe should have taken the assumed identities down a notch if you were really aiming for ' _blending_ in'." He gives a forced whisper through his amused smile. He presses a quick, chaste kiss to her cheek before releasing her. 

She shifts to reclaim her initial position and he can hear her grumble to her herself.

"Whatever. I would make a totally awesome lion tamer."

His chest lets out a small puff of laughter as she gets comfortable.

"Al'right then. You tell me a better way to make this more believable." She challenges.

"I don't know, Darce. I'm not really looking to make it into a game." He doesn't want to make her feel childish. He just really wants to spend time with Darcy, just as she is.

"Though, I guess there is something..."

Darcy perks up at his leading.

"Yeah?" She shifts to meet his eyes. "Don't hold out on me, Bucko."

"I don't know. I don't know how much it's a cover, so much as a reason." He shifts nervously. "I don't know if you know this or not but the timing of this little getaway is pretty fortunete actually. It's, uh, almost been a year." She wears a question in her eyes.  "Since we said our words?"  He continues. "To each other? It's almost been a year since we said our words to each other."

To hear him now, you'd think he's never said a word before in his life. 

Darcy goes easy on his fumbling and softens.

"Aww. You big ol' sap." He can feel her squeeze the prosthetic she still holds on to. He lifts the hand to grab her hand underneath. He interweaves their fingers and brings them to rest on his thigh.

Darcy turns and rest a cheek on his arm before starting off into the passenger car.

Things fall silent briefly before Darcy pulls them back.

"Let's see. One year? Hmmm..." Darcy mulls over. "Ya know? If this were the real thing _and_  my-"

Bucky let's out a snap of a response.

"I wish you wouldn't say it like that. This is as real as anything out there, Doll." He is surprised his voice doesn't give up his feeling of betrayal.

She turns to face him. Her face patronizingly sympathetic. She pats his knee and readjust in the seat to stretch her feet across to rest on the one of the two chairs facing them. 

"This trip really has you that tense, huh?"

"I just don't like when you talk like that, Al'right? I'm sorry." It's a sour apology.

"I'm sorry. Okay?" She weaves to meet his eyes. "Let me rephrase?" She asks for permission with her face and she take his non-response as response enough. She settles back in before continuing on.

"I'm saying if we were _typical_...." She slows for acceptance of her new choice of phrasing. _"and_ my Dad were still around this is where we would be traveling for you to get the shovel talk." He can feel her smile against him. "Ya know? The _if you hurt my daughter, I'll kill you and bury out on the yard_ talk? Or whatever it is that good Dad's say."

Bucky was an asshole.

"How come I didn't know that? About your Dad not being around?" Had he never asked her about her family? Not once? It had been a year. Had she never mentioned that? He knew she was an only child. It had come up in a conversation about his sister Rebecca. 

Darcy just shrugs still leaning up against his side and looking out the window.

"I don't know. Never seemed important, I guess."

It never seemed important? How could anything about her not be important to him?

He was an asshole.

" ... and your Mom?" 

"Dottie? She's around. Kinda. Actually haven't seen her in a little over a year and a half actually. Not since before I signed on to work and live at the facility. We talk often enough. She's a Graveyard shift cocktail waitress in Atlantic City. I swear she only has the job in hopes of one day my Dad comes walking back into one of his old haunts and says his words all over again. Which? Fat chance. He couldn't hang the first time."

"They were Soulmates." Bucky makes the realization.

"They wore words the other one had first said to them. I think that's as far as the connection went."

Darcy's parents had been bound and didn't work out. A small puzzle piece chipped into place and he rubbed his thumb over where their hands met.

"I'm sorry, Doll. I'm sorry I never even asked." How much else had he not actually taken the time to learn?

" 's okay." She shurgs as reassuring as anyone can shrug. "It's not really my day to day, I guess."

They go quiet and collectively continue to look out the window. The sound of the train making way to Manhattan settles around them.

Bucky tries to make a mental list of everything he suddenly deems important to ask Darcy. As much as he hates it, a question about himself is the first to leave his lips.

"Does she know about me?"

"No, but don't take it personal." She looks up at him. "Most of that has to do with piles of NDA paperwork surrounding my life since New Mexico. Also in part because, as it may have been obvious, my Mom very PRO-Soulmate." She pauses. "The last thing I need is her constantly asking me why you're not going to be the one to give her beautiful grand-babies"

He can feel her laugh but he freezes. Everything around him goes still and he feels as if he is pinned in place.

Kids? He has not thought about kids, not even remotely, since being liberated. Maybe not even before the War. There is no room for them in this life. The mere mention of them felt foreign.

Bucky has to anchor himself before continuing. He dips his chin to press his mouth to the top of her head and inhales through his nose. He lets the scent of her roll through him and goes on.

"Is that something you want? Kids?"

Darcy sits up.

"Yeah, actually? Is that as surprising as you make it sound?  I mean, you're looking kinda pale there, Bucko. Relax." She smirks at him. "I'm not going to turn you into my own personal Stud horse." She laughs and sits back in her seat. "I don't know. I'm a people person, I genuinely enjoy caring for others. Plus it was kinda lonely with just my Mom and I. I also thought if I had kids, I'd make sure there were more than enough siblings to go around." Darcy sighs. "Then of course life happened. Thor happened. Being practically confined to a compound housing the World's Mightiness Superheros happened."

 _Finding a out you're marked with the words of a broken man happened._ Bucky thinks for her.

"I guess tiny kiddos running around has become the unfathomable thing in my already unbelievable life." She turns her head in her chair  "Maybe it's a good thing? Five little sassy Darcys? They'd take over the World first chance they got." 

"Five?!" Bucky winces. He would have like to better control his reaction.

Darcy just laughs.

"Yeah. I know. Quite the brood, huh?  Honestly though? I'm just holding out hope there's at least one in my cards down the road someday." Darcy get a little whimsical at the end. She has gone back to leaning on his arm. Bucky suspects she's mentally painting a picture of a life. A life Bucky would never be capable of giving her. Not anymore.  He didn't know who she was filling the role with in her head but he's sure it's not him.

"For now I'm happy looking after my fully grown charge." She playfully nudges into him and Bucky forces himself to play along despite wanting to do anything but.

This may be the worst thing that has ever happened to him on a train.

 ~*~

"Bucky! Civilization! Can you believe it? People! Pollution! Pee streams on the sidewalk. God I missed this place!" 

They were in a cab headed for Stark Tower. When Tony heard that Darcy had planned on booking her own accommodations for the weekend he threw one of his world renowned tantrums.

Though, Darcy supposes it was because he doesn't actually trust Bucky all that much and if he and Darcy were not at the facility, Tony would prefer to have him close under his watch.

"Doll, get your head back in the window. A motorbike could come by and take it clean off." Bucky tugs at her sweater and she makes her way back in.

"Ahh, but what a beautiful way to go." Darcy's sighs.

"You really miss all this?" Bucky looks passed her out her window.

"Yes. I feel like I can move! Like I can breathe!" Just then a car inches pass them with smog billowing into the air. It makes its way into the window. Darcy chokes and waifs the smokes from her face. "Ok. Bad example." She coughs once more. "But yes. Just being here? I feel like anything is possible." She squares her focus on him. "You don't miss the city? You only grew up a bridge away."

"Don't remember enough I suppose." He lifts a single shoulder.

"Fair enough." She drops it and the cab continues on. "How you feeling though?"

He takes a breath.

"Honestly? Nervous. This guy has no reason to help me. Just the opposite actually."

"What are you talking about? He has tons of reasons to help!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes... do you want me to name them off?" Darcy turns in her seat and doesn't wait for him to answer.

"One." She says holding up her thumb. "It's not just _you_ he's doing it for. Umm, Hello?! Fixing the arm of a man who literally continually saves the world?  That's practically bragging rights as good as him still being out there. Tony is all about the bragging rights." Darcy turns and rolls her eyes as soon as she meets his. "Two." She holds up her index finger. "As an impressive of a human you are to me," Bucky's head dips and Darcy thinks he may be blushing slightly. "your arm is a Stark's wet dream. Seriously, he may not even notice you're attached to it." She turns towards Bucky and braces herself with a hand on his pec. "In fact, if you see him getting too _in the zone_ be sure to cough or make some sort of noise so he remembers someone is connected. Soldering irons burn like a mother effer." Darcy turns back to the front. 

Bucky lets out a laugh as he brings his arm up and over to draw Darcy into his side. She adjust in the cab seat and leans into him.

"I don't know, Doll. Those don't actually seem like enough... considering." He trails off. The implications of what should be considered sits between them.

Darcy places a hand on Bucky's knee.

"Well, we're forgetting the most important of reasons." 

"And what's that?"

"Tony loves me. Always has." Darcy offers a peppy shrugs. Bucky pulls her closer and kisses the top of her head.

"That's not hard to do, Darce."

"I know. Duh. I'm amazing. But Tony like really loves me. Like he can't believe he's never actually fathered some illegitimate child over the years so he's taken it upon himself to pass all his worldly knowledge on to me." Darcy puts a flat raised palm to the outside of her mouth and leans in like she's telling a secret. "Spoiler alert: it's mostly just about booze, machines and shared love of the two." She drops her hand. "But I indulged him because ya know;  _Daddy issues._ "

Bucky shifts at her side. She is quick to speak again. She knows the enviable pity party bringing up her Dad-shaped void twice in a day causes. She wants to stop it before it can begin.

"So you are safe; my big, strong hero. You may keep the bad men and latest Alien threats at bay but I keep Tony Stark in check. Second only to Virginia Pots." Darcy puffs her chest a little despite there positioning making it moot. "You're in capable hands. He loves me and therefore he has to be incredibly kind to those that I care for... in immeasurable amounts."

Darcy hopes Bucky didn't hear her trip over herself at the end. Of course she loved Bucky. They were connected. She only wants good things for him. You just don't going around saying you love your non-romanticly bound Soulmate. It just made things... weird.

Bucky doesn't seem to dwell on her words as much as she does. He picks up her hand and watches his thumb run over fingers. He takes a moment to speak.

"Just promise me something? Can you do that?"

She dips her head to force him to meet her eye. He stays focused on the contrast of metal against her fair, smooth skin. He never looks up but continues on.

"Promise me you'll stay close by all weekend. This whole thing? The city? All these people? Stark? I am really pushing my comfort level, here."

Darcy leans in and connects her lips to his cheek.

"You're getting incredibly proficient at expressing your anxieties. Gold star, Bucko." Bucky raises a brow. He's got to stop sharing so much of his therapy sessions with Darcy.

Darcy finishes her response.

"Aren't I always close by?" 

"You are. I just need you this weekend. To be on my team?"

Darcy drapes an arm across his front.

"I am your team, Bucko. The whole damn cheering squad too. Well maybe Steve too. He's just so damn bossy. I still get to be top of the pyramid though." Darcy begins to trail off and Bucky laughs again.

"Al'right Doll, I let him know."

~*~

They travel the last few city blocks in silence. Bucky was anxious as all hell but he knew he had his girl and that was strength enough.

After they paid the toll and retrieved their bags from the trunk, they both stood facing the infamous Tower, necks craning towards the sky.

"I know. Worse than a tiny sports car, huh?"

"Excuse me?" Bucky asks though he's not sure he wants to know.

"Forget it. Come on. Follow me." Darcy tugs at her bag in Bucky's grip and after a look that could kill, Bucky released it. She turns and makes her way to the main entrance of the Tower.

Not at all surprising, the man at the large security desk recognized Darcy. Never being the one to forget a name, she greets him just as kindly.

"You finally moving back? It hasn't been nearly as fun without you around here." The older, salt and pepper gentleman asks Darcy as he got their Visitor Badges set up. 

"I wish!" It comes out in a breath almost loud enough to be considered a shout. The man chuckles. "Ah come on Hank. Surely Boss man up there has been at least a little entertaining with his antics?"

Hank drop his brow prodding Darcy to continue.

"Yeah. I guess there is only so much narcissism you can take before it gets kinda sad and equally annoying."

"You said it, Ma'am. I just merely didn't disagree." Hank winks at her while gesturing to the elevator bank.  As they begin their way there, Hank finishes. "Hope this isn't the last time I see you for another 2 years, Darcy."

"Hey, It's only been a year and a half. And don't count on it! There is only so much narcissism I can take too! This weekend might be enough to remind me of that."

Darcy steps backwards onto the lift and Bucky hopes it is only because he had entered first and she doesn't make habit of it. He begins to ask her when this walls begins to speak.

"Good evening, Ms. Lewis. Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts await your arrival in the Penthouse suite. I am to direct you there now."

"Thanks FRIDAY." Darcy peps back and Bucky's stomach drops. Who was this girl who entered the Big Apple with him? Talking back to the elevator by name and having pleasant chit-chat with security personnel? Furthermore, she really wanted to move back here? 

Then even more weight settled on his chest. This was it. They were only 40 or so floors away from Stark at this point. The doors would open and he could very well be met with one of Stark's repulsor beams right between the eyes. He wouidn't blame him. Bucky killed Howard. Or as Darcy says; the Winter Solider killed Howard. Bucky was Howard's friend.

Bucky felt his chest tightened. It was all becoming too much. There was no stopping this. 

Darcy had reached for his flesh hand before he realized she had made a move for it. He met her face and instead of look of concern, she just wore a warm smile.

"Breath." She says.

Bucky pushes the breath he held in his chest and slowly draws in another.

"Good." Darcy nods and squeezes his hand. He squeezes back.

"Don't leave me, Doll." He manages another slow, even breath.

"Where have I got to go?" She assures.

He could kiss her. He wants to kiss her. To steady himself by dizzying himself in her. He lets her touch calm him in the final moments before the doors open.

"Hey there, Kid." Darcy turns at the voice and time slows for Bucky. He is unable to will himself to turn to the open room. He just keeps watching Darcy. He waits on her to look back at him. To reassure him. She doesn't look back  She lights up with excitement and moves forward, dropping Bucky's hand with the shift.

He doesn't move but his eyes follow her with a hurt, silent plea to beg her back.

Darcy hugs the man first. Bucky would know who he was without ever needing the context.

The man looks just like his Father had.

Bucky would have recognized him anywhere.

"Darcy, it is wonderful to have you here for the weekend." Darcy and a tall, sharply dressed Redheaded women embrace each other.

After they release, Darcy straightens and looks for Buck. When he's not at her side, her eyes trace the floor leading back to the elevator. Bucky still stands pinned there. His bag in his hand and the one Darcy dropped near his feet.

"Come on." She nudges her head towards the two people standing in foyer while looking at Bucky.

Bucky dips to grab Darcy's duffle and enters the suite. His feet feel made of lead as he makes his way to Darcy's side and in front of the Redhead. Darcy runs a hand down his metal arm to center him.

"This is James Barnes. My weekend travel companion." Darcy introduces him boastfully and the Redhead smiles warmly, extending her hand. Bucky drops the luggage and uses both hands to encase her one and returns the greeting.

"Hello James. I'm Pepper and this Bulldog here is Tony." When James drops the women's hand she brings it up and does a gesture to Tony's arm that mirrors the one Darcy had done on his.

Tony just crosses himself and gives a tight, clench jaw nod towards Bucky. Bucky returns it with a equally short dip of his head and then looks to the floor. 

The brief moment before anyone speaks is ripe full of tension.

"So how about we show you to your room?" Pepper chimes in and breaks the silence.

"Excellent idea!" Darcy gently pushes Bucky to follow and he picks up both bags from the floor and carries on besides Darcy. 

It makes him uneasy that Tony trails a step behind them. He doesn't like being unable to see a potential threat but the last thing he needs is to go into a stress induced PSTD episode and freak Darcy out. He tightens the grip on the straps in his hand and carries on.

"What are your plans while you are in town?" Pepper seems to be a natural at keeping up pleasant conversation.

"I hope a little of everything!" Darcy peps. "I miss the city so much-" Darcy is interrupted by Tony spitting out what he has been obviously holding back.

"So word around the compound is you two share a living quarters?" Tony says, still a step behind them.

"Tony! For Heaven's sake! That is none of your business." Pepper scolds.

"Oh Pep, you know Tony. Everything is his business apparently." Darcy sighs and turns slightly to direct her voice back toward Tony. "No Tony. We have our own separate cells... I mean living accommodations, excuse me." Bucky can see her grin without even turning to look.

"You're not excused, Kid. Those are state of the art living accommodations and a definite upgrade from living in the barracks in a bunk bed." Tony says pointedly but it had no actual bite.

"That wasn't even a good threat. I love bunk beds." Darcy offers back 

Tony lets out what could be considered a mischievous chuckle and moves to stand in front of them, separating both Darcy and Bucky from a set of double doors.

"Well, I like that spirit." Tony smirks. "As I was going to say, while you may live together or whatever it is you're doing out at the facility, there will be no hanky-panky under my roof." Tony turns and simultaneously opens both doors in front of him. They open to a rather larger room containing its own en suite bathroom and.... and two twin beds. Two twin beds separated by a night stand and in the place where Bucky supposes one rather large bed once stood.

Tony stands smug while both women peer around him to look into the room.

"Tony!" Pepper shrieks. "When did you even-..."  Pepper trails off, taking in the room and possibly searching for other "improvements".

"I am ridiculously rich, woman. It helps when getting an idea in motion." Tony says to Pepper and Darcy walks into the room while tugging Bucky's coat sleeve along. 

"You got _ridiculous_ right." Darcy mumbles before she walks over to one of the beds and sits to bounce a little on the end.

She smiles as she stand and crosses her arm facing Tony.

"Turn them off." She challenges.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tony counters.

Darcy lifts a brow. 

"FRIDAY, is Audio surveillance currently active in this room?"

"FRIDAY! Don't answer that!" Tony shoots out.

"Oh my God." Pepper lets out with a breath and a palm to her forehead. "Seriously?!" She calls out.

"FRIDAY. Please turn off all Audio monitoring to this room until further notice and reactivation confirmed by Darcy Lewis." Tony looks at Darcy for non-verbal confirmation that he sufficiently made things right.

Darcy nods.

"So how about we get started in an hour?" Tony gestures at Bucky's arm.

"They are fresh off the train, Tony. I am sure they would like a chance to settle in."

"I said I would give him an hour." Tony sounds defensive. "I work better at night and it is better we get it out of the way so the little surrogate apple of my eye here gets her suto-vacation in." Tony gestures to Darcy.  "I fear for Cap if she comes back without a proper time off."

Darcy meets Bucky's eye and he gives a non-committal shrug.

"I mean, he's not wrong." Darcy offers to Pepper before looking back at Bucky. "You up for it, Bucko?"

"Bucko?" Tony huffs out in a possible attempt under his breath.

Darcy fires a warning shot with her glare and the man does not continue.

When she is convinced Tony is thoroughly quieted she looks back to her Soulmate.

"Yeah, al'right." Bucky manages.

"Wonderful. Gives us a moment to breath, and we'll be down." Darcy smiles towards Pepper and Tony.

The women exchange their goodbyes and Tony makes his way out. Darcy stands presses up against the shut doors, facing Bucky.

"So that wasn't that bad, huh?"

Bucky remains quite. 

"Hey, come here." 

Bucky doesn't move at the request. It's Darcy who pushes off the doors behind her and saunters over to him. She positions herself in front of his large frame. She slips both of her arms under his and hooks them so they are each pressed against his back and drawing him further into her. She cranes her neck with her chin pressed into his chest. She waits for him to look down at her. When he doesn't, she gives him a quick nudge with her entire upper half. 

He grumbles and complies by wrapping his arms over her's and tilting his head down to meet her stare.

"Hey." She breaths out with a small smile, lifting her head off of him. "Talk to me, Buck. How are you feeling?"

He could tell her how it felt to be left alone out there. How he's certain sleep is not going to be an option tonight with Stark's haunting resemblance to Howard, his friend. How coming here was a huge mistake. He doesn't say any of this.

He shifts their position to remove his coat and Darcy whines at the lost of him. He makes his way back to the embrace, only this time his metal hand skims the sensitive skin of Darcy's neck on the way to rest behind and his thumb gently smoothing the spot just near her earlobe. She purrs into it with her eyes closed and then opens them to look right through him. The urge to kiss her has never been greater.

She swallows hard and moves her hands to brace herself on his chest. Bucky takes the freedom to move a half a step further into her. She doesn't back down. Bucky uses the hand at the base of her neck to direct her head further up. Darcy's breathing has become affected. She wets her lips and Bucky takes his invitation. He brings his free hand up and settles it under her chin. He closes the small space their height difference creates. He feels Darcy rise on her toes to help. His nose is the first thing to make contact. He never imagined the sensations itself could be so electric.

He was nearly to the promised Nirvana. Their lips all but pressing into the contact.

It was then a song proclaiming Weird Science began to play from Darcy's bag near one of the bed.

Bucky's concentration has faltered. He goes to pull back but Darcy quickly shoots up a hand to keep him in place.

"It's just Jane. She probably just wants to know we made it." Darcy stretches a bit further to make up for the space he took back by straightening but she is too short.

The ringing stops and Darcy smiles. 

"See? No big deal."

Bucky returns the expression and bends his head down once more. This time he doesn't slow in taking what he wants. His lips are over Darcy's without hesitation. God how he has thought about being right here before. His mouth claiming hers and his hands exploring.

His hands. He hadn't actually began to move his hands. Darcy must have realize the same thing because as soon as he thought it, she reacted. She puts her hands everywhere. She's frantic to touch him, to pull him close, to relieve him of his shirt.

Where Darcy's touch was ravenous, his was savoring every inch of her. He let the hand under her chin open and lay flat on her skin. He runs it down over her shoulder. He continues it on over her left breast. It has been months since he first thought to familiarize himself with the hardening nipple under his palm. Though now access has been granted, he doesn't linger. His hands continues so it wraps around to side of her waist. From there it glides down and over hip. It goes a bit further to her thigh.

Those glorious thick thighs. He imagines what they would be like wrapped around him. Furthermore what it would be like with his face buried between them. He feels himself starting to get ahead of the situation. He moves his smoothed touch back up. Only this time it comes up from the back of her thigh and cups just where her ass meets her leg. He tightens his grip and Darcy moans into his mouth and molds into him. It cheers him on. He presses the hard bulge in his pants into her midsection so the is no question of his want for her.

Darcy pulls back smiles. Bucky uses the break to remove her sweater and shirt. 

She stands in a lavender lace bra and if he says he has never seen something so beautiful in his life, he is not lying.

He pulls her back in to connect to her neck. The scent of her. It is so strong here. It is like coming home. He could spend hours here.

Darcy's touch has become increasingly less delicate. She uses both hands to lay on his ass and pull him in. He brings his hand down to mirror the action. Once there, he can't help himself but bring a hand to the front of her jeans and slide it over the material between her legs.

Darcy nearly whimpers trying to ride the firm press he holds steady. His lips find hers again around the time she finds his belt buckle.

She makes quick work of undoing it along with his button and fly. Bucky dips to kiss further south.

"Bucky," She manages between kisses to his temple

"Yeah, Doll?" Bucky says pressing kisses along the script of her Mark.

"I, uh... oh God." She struggles for composure while still grinding against him. "I don't want to do anything your not comfortable with." She manages.

Bucky laughs finding her mouth. 

"I am far from uncomfortable." He says.

"Thank God!" She cries before bashfully adding saliva to her palm and burying her hand in his pants. She doesn't pretend coy about breaching the boxers.

"Oh fuck!" He lets out with a staggered breath once she wraps his a firm hand around his length.

"Darcy, sweetheart. You gotta go easy on me here. It's been a long time." He says into the fold of her neck where he is sucking at the skin and sure to leave a mark.

"You can say that again." She says before taking his earlobe between her lips. She gives him a pump, and then another. She seems encouraged by his reaction.

"Doll-"  He pleads but Darcy is too far lost in the lust and control of it all. She gives him another pump and another.

"Fuck." He pants. "Fuck. Darcy. You gotta- oh fuck, I'm gonna come."

"What?!" Darcy pulls her head up and he drops his brow to rest on her's. He is thankful she doesn't pick now to stop. He surrenders and begins meeting her movements with thrust of his own.

He wraps his arms over her top half to brace himself for the onslaught of convulsions. They start from the bottom of his spine and radiates upwards. He is at a lost for control just before he stills his movements and relies entirely on her to bring him over the edge. Each spams explodes through him and he feels himself become warm and slick in her hand. She is kind enough to slow as the waves continue.

They stand like that even the last of his release has rolled through his body.

His breathing erratic and chest heaving. He becomes aware of still having Darcy engulfed in his arms. He then clues in to the dampness at the front of his pants. 

Son of a bitch.

What kind of amateur creams his pants?

What kind of amateur creams his pants and stands there flaccid in a Dame's hand? 

He uses his arms to push back from Darcy's shoulders.

Her face is unreadable but Bucky thinks that better than laughter at least.

He bows his head to find the words when Darcy's phone plays again.

It's the same song so Bucky knows it is Jane.

"I should uh, probably?" Darcy begins to withdraw her hand from the front of Bucky's pants. He shifts to make the removal easier. He hand comes out cover and glistening in his cum. "I am just going to..." Darcy motions to the bathroom. "Mind answering that?"

Bucky gives a dutifully nod and turns to scramble in her bag. He finds it in time for the music to stop and to hear the water from the bathroom sink shut off. 

Darcy emerges from the bathroom drying her hands with a small hand towel.

"It stopped." He holds it up. By now he's sitting on the edge of one of the beds trying to hide his pants until he gets a chance in the restroom. 

"It's OK. I'll call her back." Darcy tosses him the towel but she doesn't make a big show of him needing it. "Look, Bucko. That was, umm, well that was-"

Darcy's phone begins again only this time it's playing Star Spangled Man With a Plan.

"It's Steve." As soon as she announces Bucky's phone goes off with a standard chime. She gives him a sympathetic look and retrieves it for him so he doesn't have to shift.

"It's Jane." She says. They exchange a look telling the other to answer their respective BFFs.

Bucky answers to Steve and it is a simple check in. He was making sure they had made it a Tony hadn't attempted to kill him on contact.

He finishes the call before Darcy.

"No Jane and I take great offense to that. _I_ _work_ on all your fancy machines. I am not going to see if he wouldn't mind popping by upstate." Darcy is pacing slightly. "Becaaauuuse! It implies I am incompetent and he trained me to be as such. No." She raises her eyebrows and motion to the phone. "Of course I'm bringing you back a souvenir. What am I? a heathen? Yeah. Al'right. Yeah. Okay. You too. Bye." Darcy sighs dropping the phone onto the unoccupied bed.

"Jane says hi. " She says. 

Bucky gives a straight line smile.

Darcy picks up her discarded sweater and shirt. She separates the two before only putting her shirt back on.

"So I am going to head down to the workshop and give you some privacy. Don't worry about finding it. Retrace back to the elevator and FRIDAY will lead you the rest of the way."

Bucky doesn't ask her to wait for him. He agrees a moment apart might be a good thing. If only he can pry open a window and jump out.

Darcy moves towards him and Bucky thinks she might be on her way to deliver their usual platonic kisses to the top of his head but she must think better of it. She trades phones and makes her way to the door.

"See you in a few.' Darcy calls before making a full exit.

Bucky throws his hands up to his face and loudly curses before leaning back onto the bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Author poorly attempts Pietro's voice*: What? You didn't see that coming?


	7. Chapter 7 (Chapter 6B)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible triggers for panic attacks.

"Just think about it." Tony appeals to Darcy who is sitting perched on one of Tony's work tables. He wheels about the room on a stool, prepping his materials to begin work on Bucky's arm.

"Your job offer? Think about you swooping me out from under Jane's nose and coming back to tinker around in your labs?" Darcy has located the red licorice she knows he hides in the workshop and points at him with one of the pieces.  

"Kid, whether you work here or work there, who do you think funds it? I am not stealing anybody. I am offering you a way out."

Darcy sighs and rolls her eyes. 

"A way out from what, exactly?" 

Tony lifts his brow as if he is offended to what he may be suggesting.

"Oh come on, Darce. Don't take it there. I am saying I know you're not happy out there. Your emails read like a kid trapped at Fat Camp and waxing poetic about all the junk food you're missing at home." Tony wheels over to just in front Darcy's knees and removes a licorice whip from the pack. "The thing is you don't _have_ to be out there. You don't have anything tying you to it other then a loyalty to Jane. You went back and got a degree in Mechanical engineering, yes?"

His question is rhetorical but he pauses for Darcy to nod along. Once she has he continues.

"So why waste it? Why live some place you feel claustrophobic only to repair and calibrate the same faulty machines day in and day out when you could be here? I'll give you your own work space. Hell, I may even make you head of R&D if you ask nicely enough, which we both know you won't."

"There is more than Jane tying me to the facility, okay?" Darcy seems more surprised at the revelation than Tony.

Tony lifts his face to retort but lets his entire head drop towards his lap instead. He sighs with a heavy heave of his shoulders.

"So this isn't just a offer for my own comfort, is it? Something tells me Bucky wouldn't be invited along for the ride?"

Tony lifts his face up.

"I don't think anyone would be surprised to hear I have my concerns, Kid. It's hard being bound to a troubled man."

Darcy leans forward and lays a flat palm on Tony's cheek. She pats it twice.

"I know it's not but we all commend Pepper on how well she handles it." Darcy smirks at her own wit.

"Very funny. Just promise me you'll consider it. The Darcy Lewis I've grown to love has never once let a shitty Soulmark dictate her choices. It would be a shame to see her let a Soulmate dictate shitty choices."

Tony wheels on to another station.

She hated to admit he did have a point. She knows if it weren't for the introduction of Bucky, her life upstate may have all but worn out its welcome. She loved Jane but their friendship would endure the change. Bucky though? Would Bucky survive the shift?

Oh God.  _Bucky._ Here she was feeling guilty over the minute and a half she let the offer sound too tempting to pass up and Bucky was somewhere upstairs washing off the evidence that he was still adjusting to life free of Hydra's control.

A pit formed in her stomach. They were going to have address what had happened in the room before she left to make it down to the workshop, weren't they?  Ugh. All the chances to jump each other's bones all year long and they wait until Darcy's vacation to have some quick, spontaneous, feverish make out session? She just wanted a break from it all. A change of pace for them and thr need to confront Bucky's issues. Yet not only had they followed them they multiplied once they got here.

Breathing got kinda hard then. Her throat tightened and the sensation spread down to her chest. She had to work to pull in air. It was a true labor and shortly after the third pull she couldn't hear much in the room. All sound had been eclipsed by a rustling sound of blood rushing though her veins. 

One, two, three. She had her eyes shut and counted each breath she managed to pull in. Four, five, six. She fought to center herself. To talk herself back down. Seven, eight, nine. She's not sure how long she was like this but by the time she found her lungs beginning to loosen, Bucky was by her side. Her hearing was coming back and she opened her eyes once she registered him calling for her.

"Talk to me. Doll? You okay there?"

Both Tony and Bucky were standing in front of the table she sat on.

"What the hell was that, Kid?!" Tony demands, noticeably concerned.

Darcy clears her throat.

"Sorry. Seems the excitement of the Big City has caught up to this Country Mouse." She tries to deflect their attention. She doesn't want any questions. She just wants to sulk over to the leather sofa in the workshop and close her eyes. She hops down off the table and Bucky nearly throws himself between her and the floor before she gives him a look to say that it's not necessary. She made it to her feet, didn't she?

"Here. Drink this." Tony managed to obtain a cup of water before Darcy realized he was gone. She takes it and makes her way to the couch. Bucky trails behind like a scared puppy.

She turns and stops him by placing a hand on his chest.

"Bucky. I'm fine." She says sharply. "Go get started with Tony. I am literally 10 feet away. You're fine. I'm fine. We're all fine." Even to her own ears it sounded annoyed.

Bucky reluctantly stills as she carries on to the couch.

"You sure?" He calls after her.

"Yes." She shoots without looking back.

It wasn't nice but it was necessary. She just shook off a panic attack. If she didn't give herself some space she afraid she would be in the throes of it once again. It was self preservation, mostly.

By the time she finds a comfortable spot and places her earbuds in, Tony has already directed Bucky where to sit. He does so but gets up again to pull his white cotton shirt from up over his back to take it completely off to sit back down again.

 _Pity._ Darcy thought to herself.  _That had always been such a favorite view until 20 minutes ago._

That's the last thing running through her mind before closing her eyes and focused on her breathing.

~*~

Well his nerves were good and shot...

The way she pushed him away after she was barely coherent made him feel like he was in a free fall. He felt helpless and afraid. Now Darcy is either asleep or pretending to be so on the couch in the workshop. Tony keeps letting out exaggerated sighs of annoyance every time Bucky's nervous knee bouncing interfered with his work.

Bucky looked over at Darcy roughly every three seconds. He wanted her to wake up. To sass him. To show things were going to be just fine.

"That really scared you, huh? Does she not have anxiety attacks regularly out there?"

"Is that what you think it was?" Bucky asks Tony.

"Of course. Surely you've been in contact with them? I thought they were standard issue in our line of work."

What had caused it? Was it him coming down?  If Tony had done something it's probably best to find out later. Bucky worried about Tony getting revenge on him. He didn't think it would ever need to be the other way around.

Bucky works on calming himself. He finds things around the room to focus on. He even works up some small talk to settle on with Tony. Eventually he becomes fixated on watching Darcy's chest rise and fall with each shallow, sleeping breath. It calms him. It's soon enough that even being in this room seems less overwhelming.

"Can I ask you a question?" Tony nearly slips with his screw driver at Bucky's question before looking up and nodding permission.

"Are you marked?"

"Oh don't do that, Barnes. Don't go looking for some sort of guidance from me. That's not what this is here. We are not friends." Tony carries on with his task at hand. They both remain silent for a good amount of time and the air thickens with tension.

"Al'right, you know what? Fuck it. You want some advice on being marked? Here ya go," Bucky's head jerks up at Tony outburst.

"Pepper? My Soulmate? She's too good for me. I tell her so every chance I get. The universe gifted me this incredible offering and she got what? A grumpy, self involved old man who puts not only his own life but her life in danger just because he is who he has been made to be? How is that fair to her? But she's stubborn. Driven. She won't leave me because for some unknown reason to me, she loves me back." Tony shrugs and directs his face back into his work. "It doesn't matter, though. I know in my heart of hearts that if me being gone was a better life for her, I would leave. Without question. That is all I have to offer on Soulmates."

The space goes quiet again.

"So you what? Want me to leave her alone? You don't think that thought doesn't run through my head every single second I am with her?  I tried. I fought it with every little bit of myself I still had when I arrived at the compound. You would think the more I regain of myself, the easier it would be to admit she deserves more but it's only harder. Everything I attribute to my recovery is wrapped up in her. She is everything to me. She deserves better and she's going to get better; from me." Bucky's adrenaline is spiking. He's surprised he didn't wake Darcy with his response to Stark.

Tony had now place the tools he was using on the table beside him. He sat upright in his chair.

"And what cost to her time, exactly? How long is it going to take you to get there while she waits for you? How long is she going to have to wait for a broken Soulmate to mend himself?" Bucky mindlessly places a hand of his mark. How dare Stark use those words against him. He had half a mind to knock his teeth down his throat. 

"We done here?" Bucky growls. 

"Actually no. We're not. I am waiting for diagnostics to run. You're stuck with me." Tony smiles a smug grin. Now Bucky especially wants to knock his teeth in.

They don't say much of anything while Stark reads the computer print outs and Bucky continues to watch Darcy sleep.

"Look, I know you're not dumb." Tony breaks through this round of silence. "I know you know she's not happy out there." Tony picks up a soldering iron. "Darcy? She's one in a million. She happy doing her own thing. Don't keep her locked up until you reach your _one day_. Soulmate or not, it's not fair."

"I love her." Bucky affirms.

"Yeah well you hurt her and I'll kill you. I promise." Bucky believed him.

Though, he has heard those words before?  

"Wait? Did you just give me the shovel talk?" Bucky can't contain his grin.

"Shovel talk? No  _Bucko,_ I gave you a direct threat." Bucky's smile grows even larger much to Tony's chagrin. "I'm serious." Tony becomes agitated by Bucky's growing elation.

"No. I believe. Trust me." Bucky's face grew twice its size and his laugh lines showed. He wishes Darcy was awake to see him like this.

It may not have come from her actually Dad but that certainly counted for something.

They _were_  real.


	8. Chapter 8 (Chapter 6C)

She supposes it was Bucky who carried her to bed last night. She doesn't actually know because coming off even a small anxiety attack left her drained and exhausted. 

She was only awake now because she nearly slid off one of the stupid twin beds Tony had put in the in the room.

She sat up and searched for signs of life. Bucky's bed was not only empty it was nearly bare. When she dipped her head over the edge of her own, she was met with the missing blanket and pillow. Bucky must have pulled from the other bed and laid them out as if they were back home.

Then the bathroom door opened and steam billowed out behind Bucky with a towel slung low around his hips.

Okay, so she didn't exactly _hate_  the view now.

"Hey." She says with a voice still raw from sleep.

"How you feeling, Doll?" He remains tentative in his approach.

"Good. Better? I have to pee." Bucky moves to indicate that the bathroom is free. Darcy moves to push back the covers and quickly smooths them back over herself.

"Umm. Where are my pants?" Bucky shoots a hand to knead the back of his neck. She's seen this before only it was usually Steve when he did his "aw, shucks" crap.

"I'm sorry. They just didn't look like they would be comfortable and I knew you must have needed the rest so-"

"It's fine, Buck. It's fine." She cuts him off but it is more that she wasn't ready for any awkward remembrance of the night before. At least not before her coffee.

Darcy decided to take control and boldly stands with her shirt just barely covering the top of her back side. She only makes a single attempt to pull the fabric to fully cover her underwear but gives up the idea when she sees Bucky is more amused than mortified. 

She resist the urge to hip check the smile off his face on the way into the bathroom.

She smiles when she hears him laugh. Maybe today wasn't going to be so bad.

She finishes up and washes her hand. She'd give anything to have her toothbrush already set by the sink but she settles on splashing cool water over her face and standing up to pat dry with a fresh towel.

She opens the door and Bucky is dressed in the raglan tee she bought him for casual wear and jeans. He looks relaxed and ready for a day of sightseeing. It's sweet of him to think he can salvage any of this trip. 

"I ducked out and found the coffee. Though I'm not sure Tony is even up yet." 

"Tony, huh? Did you two get a chance to bond last night or something? And I doubt he's even gone to bed yet." She says making her way over to the desk Bucky has set the coffee mugs.

"Either way I saved you a possible pre-caffeine run in."

"My hero." She says into another sip and makes her way back over to the bed to climb under the covers and finish her cup. "So..." She begins but can't bring herself take it further and long two beats pass. "What do you want to do today?" 

"Oh no, Doll. You ain't getting off that easy." 

Shit.

"You're not going to let me pick when I know you must have mapped out every small minute of our time today."

Oh thank God.

"I have not! In fact I don't even have set plans... pass 4 PM today. But I swear it's not too regimented! There's wiggle room!" Darcy defends her scheduling and Bucky laughs so sharp and loud it is almost good enough to be considered a lighthearted cackle.

Darcy was, dare she say it, looking forward to today again.

"Tell you what? How about you get ready and I will brave the common area one more time to get us some fuel. You can hide out in here."

"Aww. You'd do that for little ole me?" Darcy drawls with a southern twang and fans her face with her hand while batting her eyelashes.

When Bucky picks up to move towards her she gets self conscious. She wields her now empty coffee cup as a shield.

"And a refill?" She begs moving her cup side to side at the end of her outstretched hand.

"Anything for little ole you." He says but he hasn't changed course. He rests balled fist on either side of her blanket covered legs and leans in to place a kiss to the top of her head.

Darcy can't take it. If he connects then it ruins the whole easy going vibe they've cultivated in such a short time this morning. She wasn't ready to invite the elephant back in just yet and no one was going to make her.

She had to think fast. There wasn't much time. Her heart began to race and she was desperate for a plan.

She reaches up to the front of his shirt and redirects him... right down to her lips.

Okay so sue her. There wasn't the time needed to think this through.

At least she wasn't pretending it didn't happen, right? This had to be better? 

Oh but those lips. Who cares with lips like those.

Seriously. Bad plan, shmad plan!

Darcy was nearing the point of just overly affected when Bucky pulls back.

Whoa. So that's probably going to have to happen more.

"Careful there, Doll. I doubt that's on the _before 4 PM_ itinerary." Bucky winks and relieves her of her mug before retreating into the hall.

Eek! 

Darcy shoots out of bed and picks up her bag on the way to the shower.

She needs to get ready!

~ * ~ 

Bucky may have run into some unfortunate luck the last 70 years but that doesn't mean he saw himself as a pessimist because of it.

Though for the life of him, he has no idea what in his life (past or present) he has done to be afforded the Kamric reward that is Darcy Lewis.

He wasn't a bad guy before joining the war effort but he sure as Hell wasn't a angel.

He woke up this morning expecting his head to be taken clean off. He expected some horrific conversation about his uh... er, shortcomings last night. Instead though? Instead she had kissed him. Plain as anything, like this was how things were going to be now and he wanted to kneel at the heel of whomever is responsible.

They spent the whole day out. Darcy showed him all her old favorite haunts. At a record shop Darcy held up one with a song Bucky had recognized. A little swing number he use to twirl Dames around the floor to back in the day. Darcy bought it and demanded he teach her when they got back upstate.

She had a sneaking suspicion she would be good at it. She's just never found anyone to take her out before.

She took him window shopping through the Meat Packing District. She was particularly memorized by a form fitting Red number in a boutique window. Bucky took a liking to it too but when Darcy called it Vintage and laughed, Bucky understood the feeling of nostalgia he got by the way it fit the mannequin.

"Get it." Her urged.

She lowered a brow in a way that only could be described as condescending.

"A dress like that has no right being hidden in Nowhereville, New York. You take something that beautiful out to be seen."

She looked back at the dress one more time and sighed longingly before linking an arm with his and directing him up the street to a Gelato shop.

After a seemingly endless walk around the Greenwich Village, Darcy declared they were going to make it of to Union Square only once they got there, they were not to talk to each other. Darcy said they had to spend a good deal of time just observing.

So they did. They took up residence on two small stairs and just watched. Tourist and locals alike made their way pass. It seems everyone had showed their own story just by the way they held themselves. Sure he had been trained to been keen in his assessment of a mark and judge a potential threat but this was so honest. The perfect way to immerse himself in normalcy and remind himself that everyone was fighting their own fight.

He looked over at Darcy. She had been watching him. Recognition crossed her face and she smiled at him.

"Bingo, Buck." She dipped her head to press her forehead into his arm.

15 minutes after 4 pm saw them enjoying the crisp Indian Summer, laying flat on their backs in the grass of an open spot in Central Park. Darcy lay perpendicular to Bucky with her head resting on his side. 

The quiet was comfortable. Bucky couldn't believe he was actually able to close his eyes and take in the sounds of the city despite the voice in his head reminds him they are embarrassingly easy target out here in the open.

He mostly does it by suppressing all anxiety with reaching his hand down and picking up Darcy's. He holds both his and hers up while finding a comfortable rhythm of joining their fingers and letting release again and again.

He thought about what Tony had said to him. About waiting until his _One Day._ The man was right. It wasn't fair to Darcy. She deserved a life here and now. No matter where he stood on his path to recovery, he needed to be more for her.  He needed to tell her that. He needs to use the nerve beginning to shoot up through him to tell her just that.  He needed to make a bold declaration.

"Doll?"

"Hmm?" Darcy purrs with her eyes still so closed.

He can't find the right way to announce to someone that from here on out he's going to be everything they have ever needed.

What comes out is a little more shaky.

"I'm not a broken man."

Darcy rolls her head and eyes him with concerned.

"Okay? I know that Bucko." Darcy sits up and shifts to face towards him. Bucky mirrors the action. "I know that."

"I just know that's how we started. You thought I was broken. That I needed to be put-"

"Bucky, I didn't know what I was saying! I was half asleep. You can't go basing entire resolves on some arbitrary words that sometimes people don't even realize the impact of them."

Bucky takes that in for a minute. He couldn't have prepared the conversation better himself.

He reaches out and places a hand over her Soulmark. He searches for her eyes and waits for her to make the connection to what she just said. 

It doesn't come.

For Bucky, being  _broken_ hadn't effected him until he was free of Hydra the last couple of years. Before then there wasn't time for the notion and before that, Bucky wore it almost as a badge of honor. The girls in his day loved the idea of lining up for a chance to at making the bad boy whole.

For Darcy, she has always been rejected. The words have never taken on a second life. To her, she had to form an entire existence where life would still exist after her words. 

It deserved more than a _We can be together now_  to change Darcy's view. He was going to prove that he wasn't just here because they were marked but because he wanted to be.

He needed to show her.

"Buck?" She asks him back to there conversation with concerns.

"You know what? Never mind. This can wait."

He blows out a held breath then stands. He extends a hand to her and she accepts it to stand. Bucky steers them in the direction they came.

"So no plans tonight, huh?"

"No Sir. Something you want to do?"

"Yeah actually there is."

Darcy brightens.

"How about we go back and get you that red dress? No need to wait on the dance lesson. I am taking you out tonight. The whole nine. Dinner, dancing, maybe a little necking at your door step." Bucky's wink felt natural. Darcy's blush was even expected. Somewhere in there he was someone he always had been.

"Buck- that's crazy. I am not going to go get some dress. You wanna go dancing? We can go dancing. No need for-'"

"You're not buying some dress. I am. You were right. Something that beautiful needs to be taken out and showed off... and I am going to buy her a dress to do so."

Bucky didn't know if she was lunging at him or into his arms. He braces himself for a punch but planted his feet in case it was the later. 

She does neither.

She wraps her own arms over his and squeezes.

"No one has ever taken me dancing before!" 

He frees himself and collects her into his side as they match steps down the street.

"I know, Doll but there's about to be a lot of first."


	9. Chapter 9 (Chapter 6D)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go easy on me. I am not totally comfortable with my agnst voice.
> 
> Possible triggers for anxiety and panic attacks
> 
> Oh, maybe a little dark too.
> 
> One last thing:   
> Regular font= Darcy's POV  
> Italic= Bucky's POV.

The fit was kismet. Darcy may have the ideal of a retro body-type but sizing was very different in yesteryear.

She almost hates how her day has turn into a '90 teen comedy where the male lead suddenly takes notice of the mousy but bright female lead and a makeover ensure. She _almost_  hates it. She would totally hate it if she weren't so damn excited.

Her hand hadn't shaken this bad ehile putting on her signature Red lip since her first Homecoming Dance, her Freshman year. Anthony James had asked her. He was marked but in her 14 year old eyes there was still chance for love. 

He saw it as a chance to see if the rumors that she stuffed her bra were true or not. She wound up kneeing him in a very sensitive spot before calling a cab home.

She shakes the memory out and puts the cap of her lipstick. She lifts her head to examine her work.

This was all so silly, wasn't it? 

Not even 24 hours ago she was in a literal panic attack in Tony's lab. She had shut herself off and thought for sure she would wake up this morning and take Tony up on his offer.

Then Bucky just sorta... _blossomed._ It was a rapid transform without warning but it was not unwelcome.

Oh how she ate it up! 

Darcy from two days ago, however, was gagging.

Well there were worse things. She could be at the facility right now with a pair of worn pajamas and no options for excitement. At least for now she was the one place she truly wanted to be. Maybe even with the only person she wanted to to be with.

She grabs the dress from the hanger hooked on the towel rack. She unzips it and slips it up pass the red-souled shoes Pepper so graciously offer to Darcy for the night.

All she needed now was to have someone do up the back.

She opens the door separating the bathroom and the bedroom. Bucky stands in front of the floor to ceiling window with his back to her.

The light from outside plays off his frame and his exquisite build is perfectly capture in a warm cradled of shadows. He is a sight. 

She clears her throat and waits for him to turn.

_He's never been this nervous. Ever. Not in 90 plus years has he ever been so convinced his heart was going to give out from sheer nerves._

_He has been terrified before. At War. When Steve would get sick. The idea of facing life after 70 years of capture. All of those things had once terrified him. Though nothing was as jarring then the idea that after tonight, there was no going back._

_Tonight he was going to lay it all out on the line and from here on out, if Darcy would have him, he was going to try every day to be a little more whole._

_This wasn't a date. This was destiny._

_Darcy clears his throat behind him._

_He turns to most compelling sight he's seen, this side of 70 years._

_Thank God he had decided to pick something up to wear himself or there would have been no way he looked right on her arm tonight._

_She steps out from the bathroom's door frame and it only got better. She was radiant in the dim room with only the lights from the city beaming up through the window._

_He recognized her. She was Pearl Barret. He had chased her most of 10th grade though she never gave him the time of day._

_"What am I going to do with a broken boy?" She would taunt._

_Bucky stops short when her words came back to him. Where had that memory been lingering?_

_He furrows his brow and shakes out his head just in time for another forgotten memory to shoot off._

_"Barnes. I don't have space for broken bits in my Army. Get down and give me 50."_

_The voice was of his drill Sargent. The man had loved to use Bucky's mark as a source of motivation. It wasn't until just then Bucky had even remembered that the man even existed._

_"Bucko? Where'd you go there?" Darcy's voice draws him out._

_"Sorry Doll." He centers himself and looks up. There she stood. As breathtaking as ever._

_"Darce- you look, I got no words." He breaths._

_"Not bad, huh?" She smiles running a flat palm down the front of her dress."Wait until you see it actually zipped."_

Darcy couldn't believe she so was so anxious turning into Bucky to let him finish up the rest of the dress.

It was Bucky. It wasn't like they hadn't touch before. This just felt so intimate.

She sweeps her soft curls over her shoulder. She peeks behind her to see Bucky fixated on the window of her bare back peeking through opening. He meets her eyes and gives a predatory smile before closing the space between them and resting his hands on the zipper.

Darcy's voice caught on the contact and Bucky swallowing could have been heard on the next room over.

Slowly the hardware goes up her back and once there Bucky uses his now free hand to bring Darcy's hair back to its original resting spot. He finishes his task with a small kiss to her shoulder and run a hand down either arm.

Darcy lets the shiver roll through her whole body before stepping away from the contact and turning back to him.

"I just need to grab a my lipstick and powder. Don't go disappearing on me, Bucko."

_No._

_No. No. No._

_He didn't want to remember this._

_He's being directed into a room._

_A lifeless body of some pretty little thing lying in the middle of it. They said she was his Soulmate. That there had been no need for her. That she had been killed for implying he was weak, that he was broken._

_If time would go by and he begun to questioned it, they would wipe him and do the same facade again. Half a dozen girls over the course of years flashed through his mind. Blondes and a Brunette. A brunette just like Darcy._

_What if Hydra found Darcy before he had? What if they had got her a ripped her from the world before he had gotten the chance to know her? All those girls. Taken and a Soulmate left wondering where she was._

_Bucky goes to sit on the edge of his bed. He tightly curls into himself._

_He wills himself to breath._

_He is rocking back and forth when Darcy enters the room again with her clutch in had._

"Buck! Buck! Listen to me, okay? I need you to breath with me."

Darcy wraps herself around Bucky's front and from there they begin the very same breathing coaching Darcy had done the first day on the stairs.

"I'm Broken, Doll." It comes out quite after the mode has settled a bit.

"No you are not, James Barnes. You hear me? You are not a Broken man." Darcy rocks his body into her's and back. On and on. Back and forth.

This continues on until Darcy is able to get Bucky back up on to the pillows and in a comfortable breathing pattern. 

When he doesn't need her verbal cues so much, she gets up to give herself a minute of composure.

She walks over to the very same window she found Bucky at and looks at the city below.

It had been a nice thought.

That they could go out and be people they weren't. Pretend they had a life that they didn't. 

She watches tiny light of cars down below move about. People coming and going. She was comforted in knowing that they were free to move about as they chose.

She could spend the rest of the night here in this window.

"Doll, will come lay with me?" Bucky called from the bed with his voice still uneasy.

She turns and nods.

With the small bed she almost has lay direct on top of him and then slide into the small space provided for her at his side.

She shifts to get comfortable. The movement is accompanied by the sound ripping seams from her. She dips her head into Bucky's side at the disappointment but ultimately realizes it doesn't matter. They wouldn't be going anywhere tonight anyways.

~*~

It's light out when Tony comes through the double doors.

"Al'right. I've walked in a weirder but I thought if you were both ignoring your phones then maybe at least you'd be naked. Though fully clothed and curled up on a twin bed could be hot too, I guess." 

Darcy sits up from Bucky and holds the rip on her dress so she doesn't flash more than she's willing to show.

"What's going on?" She asks while Bucky sits up beside her.

"Romeo here is being called in. They are facing something huge and it's an All Men on Deck situation. Jet will be on the roof in minutes." 

Bucky is up and swapping his dress shoes for his boots. He must be certain someone will have his tac gear once he gets there.

"What about Darcy? I need to get her back safe."

Darcy doesn't pick this time to give Bucky a lesson on Feminism. 

""Hello? Iron Man?" Tony points to his own face. "I am more than capable of seeing the little lady home." Tony however never saw a bad time to defend his sensibilities.

Bucky nods and Darcy thinks the trust is surprising.

"I'll leave you two but you've got a minute and a half. Tops."

Tony exits and Bucky turns to Darcy.

"Hey Doll." He puts his hand out for hers. "I'm sorry I am going to have to cut our vacation short." 

Darcy nearly laughs as she accepts his hand and lets him pull her in. This getaway has been doomed from the start. Of course there would be a call to assemble in the middle.

"It's the life we lead." She aims for unaffected but the honesty of it was a sharp stab to the chest. Especially after last night.

Bucky draws her close. She prepares for a kiss similar to the one to morning before but he instead pulls her in to press his lips to the top of her head and steady himself as he always did before mission.

"I'll make it up to you." He says heading out of the room and picking up speed once he hit the hall.

"Which part?" Darcy says quietly and to no one while she looks around the room.

She supposes it was time to get them packed up and head back to real life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your comments. I have been really enjoying having ongoing and consistent feedback from the same folks. I look forward to continuing conversations with each chapter posted 
> 
> Please and Thank you.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Rewind recap. Rollercoaster of a weekend away. Bucky has a setback before they can make it to dinner.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Cutie_bug, I know I promised this would be posted last Thursday. I'm sorry and thank you.
> 
> To everyone on this ride, this is my hardest story. It feels very much like roller coaster. Up, down. Loop to loop. One step forward, the Jitterbug back. We are nearing our resolution. I hope you stay with me for one more chapter and an epilogue. 
> 
> Notes:  
> The editing is shit. Meh. I'm over it.
> 
> **possible trigger if you're having some growing pains with a significant other at the moment. This is not entertainment to take your mind off it.
> 
> Hmm, how to say this with out giving anything away... I guess you should just take notice that the rating of THIS CHAPTER BORDERLINES EXPLICIT. As always, I like to write tasteful s.e.x. (and read filthy smut. Keep it coming, folks!) but some might think it a bit... descriptive 
> 
> Finally, I took a chance. I wrote the final section with a unique use of syntax. If it's not your cup of tea, that's okay. It happens. Don't be an asshole, though. I don't mean to just me. I mean to anyone, ever. Just don't be an asshole.
> 
> Namasté.

"Buck? Can you hear me?" Darcy pokes her head up to the handful of people working in the mission command center. "Guys, it's breaking up again." She holds the receiver above her head until someone at a computer looks her way and nods. 

" _Doll? You still with me?_ " Bucky's voice comes through. Darcy shoots the computer tech an "OK" sign before she ducks her head again to provide a some resemblance of privacy.

"Thought I lost you there." She smiles into the phone but clips it short with the feeling that someone was totally watching.

 " _Nah. Can't get rid of me that easy_."

 It had been three and a half weeks since the worst disaster to ever occur at Stark Tower.... you know, _besides_  theChituri attack. Darcy was on her second call allowed to Bucky since he left her standing in a torn dress and took off to save the world.

 "So Mission Support says another couple of weeks at least?" Darcy did her best not to sound disappointed. She knew that bringing down Bucky's morale was the exact opposite of why the team was occasionally allowed supervised talks while on extended missions.

 "Y _eah, looks like it. Lots of cold trails out here._ " She couldn't pick up on the tone in Bucky's voice with the crappy connection. Who funds this stuff?

 " _Here_ being _where? E_ xactly?" She knows he can't tell her. She really just wants to see if she can pinpoint the Agent assigned to listen in.

 Bingo. A younger, fresh faced agent stands at alarm with his hand pressing in his ear piece.

 Bucky laughs and Darcy's heart literally aches at the sound.

 " _You spot 'em?"_ Bucky laughs once more.

 "Yep." This smile she can't contain.

 " _That's my girl_." Bucky congratulates her and she wonders if their grins would match, if he were here.

"Relax Agent. I would imagine a solider once widely referred to as a ghost would be a little more covert than that." She directs towards the young man. The Agent blushes as he bows his head before taking his seat once more.

 " _So how's things beside the point_?"

"Oh ya know. Same ole, same ole at the compound. Slow death by boredom." Darcy hopes her deliberate monotone delivery is not lost over the connection. 

 " _Well I might have something to remedy that when I get to ya_." Darcy is doing more than just ducking her head now. No, now she was full on hiding.

"Bucky! Oh my Odin. Are you seriously trying to get cheeky right now?" She chastises into the mouthpiece with her pink tinged face caste towards her lap.

 " _Jesus, Darce. You got a filthy mind, you know that?_ " She knows he is shaking his head the way he does when he's fondly exasperated with her constantly assuming everything was a dirty innuendo. "I  _wasn't. Let me guess? Besides the fellow you just drew out, there are at twelve more mulling about pretending to work and not listening in out of curiosity_?" He was exactly right. Seems the fact the Winter Solider even HAD a Soulmate reached peaked curiosity through out the whole compound about 6 months ago and now people were desperate to figure out the dynamics. Darcy knew she wasn't imaging being watched. " _It doesn't matter though. I want to wait until I'm back to talk about it. Figure we got a lot to cover anyways._ "

Ugh. He had no idea how much she could potentially add to the queue of "talks" in his absence.

"So, I have yet to even ask. How are you out there? " Not Darcy's smoothest transition but desperate times...

 

" _You know me. I am confident out here. This is what I was created for._ " Bucky goes silent for a brief moment. " _It's everything else I can't get right, it seems."_

Oh Buck. 

Bucky begins speaking again only it is directed behind him. Darcy recognizes Steve's voice through the phone.

" _Hey, I gotta go_." Bucky's delivery comes off with calm urgency. 

Before she speeds a goodbye through the phone Bucky's steady voice comes pass.

" _Doll? I really miss you._ "

The strength she has holding up her chest escapes her. She could cry at how deep those simple words ran. Then she catches the eye of the young Agent monitoring their call. He hides at baring witness of the intimacy. Darcy hates feeling so rawly displayed. She steels herself once more.

"Samsies." 

It's all she says before she hears a questioning grunt from Bucky and the line drops.

 ~*~

He is desperate to see Darcy. He wants to get to the small space they share and hole up with her for at least 48 hours to make up for the 7 weeks he had been gone.

Though, he also knows it is 2 am. There isn't much rush when she would most likely be sleeping and he is just going to be making a spot for himself on the floor without waking her.

Plus, he figures showering and changing in the locker room after debrief was the safest way to ensure that after he did get in arm's reach of her, he wasn't going to need to worry about letting go.

Reaching the door alone was fortifying for his worn soul. Opening the door and laying eyes on her standing in the center of the main room was his salvation.

He stops. He stops and just takes her in. He aches with the realization of how much he missed her.

Her face dips into a sad smile and he knows the relief is mutual.

She shrugs and laughs as she wipes a tear from her cheek. 

"Mission Support said you were back." She shrugs again. "I was about 3 minutes away from dragging you here myself."

He move towards her and she visibly shines. Before she can reach him, he has closed the distance. He has his left arm around her waist. He lifts her feet off the floor. His right hand cradles the back of her head. She presses her face into the space made by her arms linking behind him.

"I missed you." She breaths into the crook of his neck.

He squeezes her once more.

"Samsies." He says and they laugh together.

She pulls back and rests her forehead on his. He wonders if her smile had been this bright in his absence or if it is here just for him.

"Let's go to bed, Doll." He smiles against her face and she nods in agreement.

He carries her to the room with her feet dangling in the rhythm of his steps.

~*~

_His exhaustion must be bone deep._

She thinks to herself as she lays with their limbs intertwined and her head on the pillow separating her from his metal arm.

Recovering brainwashed assassins presumably never slept this late nor this sound.

All they had managed to do last night was pour themselves into Darcy's bed and drift off. Yet, now he was back and having him here at the compound is effecting her more than she had predicted.

Had she made the right choice?

She raises a slow hand to lay flat against the smooth, comfortable warmth of his white cotton t-shirt. He was definitely all man, wasn't he? His face may have been the most serene she had ever seen him but it did nothing to take away from the way he was all brawn. He even smelled like a man. Darcy slowly shifts her face forward to press her nose to him and just breath him in. 

She nestles into a spot made by his raised left arm. She takes in a helping of his scent when the weight of the hand on her hip shifted.

"Are you smelling my armpit?" He asks with a happy gruff of an unused voice.

Darcy stills. The hand resting flat on his chest fist a ball of the fabric and she presses her face further into him to hide. She vigorously shakes her head in denial but it is met with a hearty chuckle. Darcy can feel it reverberate through his chest.

"Not the most convincing case to stick your head further into it." The hand at her hip runs more than half the length of her thigh and back up again. On the third trip Darcy pulls back to look at him. His smile could only be considered adoring as he looks back down at her.

"Good Morning, Doll." Bucky presses his lips to her forehead and she closes her eyes and sighs at the gesture.

He was back.

"Gotta tell ya'; had I known I would have slept so well in the bed, I probably wouldn't have spent the last year on the floor."

"Well excuse you for thinking it would have been so easy to get into my bed! I am a lady!" She feigned offense while slapping a hand to his chest.

They laugh as Bucky pulls her in tighter. Darcy follows and tucks further into him. He gives a satisfied hum and nuzzles into her cheek.

"Yeah? And I am your Soulmate." He says hovering above her ear.

"Mmm. That you are, Bucko. That you are." Darcy purrs into a content sigh. Her eyes closed and face relaxed. They remain curl into and around one another. The only bit moving was Bucky's hand sweeping the length of Darcy's thigh and back up to give a slight knead to her backside.

Long minutes pass they stay comforted by each other's presence. There is not a word spoken but songs of contentment are silently sung in the energy around them.

Bucky is the first to move. He pulls his head back and tilts his head to look at Darcy. She mirrors the action feeling a familiar warmth across her features.

"How much time we got until you need to get to work?" 

 "I don't." Darcy smiles. "I sent a text off to Jane last night after I got word you were back. Save for any major mechanical meltdowns for the next twenty four hours, I am all yours."

Guilt pangs a bit at the way Bucky brightens at the declaration she was his. 

She should tell him.

It was either ruin his eased mood now or later when he's had more opportunity to bathe in the cradle of contentment they have created in her bed this morning.

First though, first she needs to visit the Little Girl's Room.

She moves to sit up only to be met with a strong arm, not using full strength, to keep her on the bed and in position against him.

"Where do you think your going? I thought you said you were all mine, huh?" He lands a flushed and relaxed kiss against her temple. She can't contain her sappy grin . Apparently neither can Bucky because when he moves back to do it again, his lips have to work to close in front of his love-drunk smile.

"As lovely as this whole possessive bits is," She pats his chest twice for good measure.  "I really have to pee."

She laughs out loud at Bucky pretending to grab after her as she make her escape.

She is still beaming as she washes up and only does her mood fall when she catches sight of her face in the mirror. She doesn't deserve to feel this lighthearted. They really needed to talk.

"Bucko?" She calls out entering her room once more. He lays with his hands clasped behind his head and resting on his pillow. He looks as if his soft demeanor may have hardened as well despite his positioning.

"You've taken some things down. Of the wall, I mean." 

"Oh. Yeah." She crosses the room to sit on the top of the covers she just fled. "So, I, uh, guess we need to talk." She ducks her head sheepishly.

At this Bucky rolls from his side of the bed to his feet. He rapidly paces within two small pumping steps in each direction. Darcy struggles to keep up with the sudden change in pace.

"We do. You're right." Bucky stops his feet but his energy is anything but still. He rolls up on the balls of his feet and back down. "Look, I have been thinking..."

"No, Buck. Let me-" He shouldn't have to be the one to start this. 

"No. Alright? " Bucky calmly interrupts. "Just let me get this out. My nerves have been killing me." Darcy's lip quirks at the idea of her making The Winter Solider nervous. Then she remembers... well,  _everything_ , and her face reclaims a passive expression and she devotes her attention to her Soulmate.

"I've been thinking." He repeats. "So I know they ain't gonna honor any Army back pay, like they did for Stevie. Though, I actually make a living now. Saving the World _does_ have its perks. " He smirks and Darcy's mirrors the action. "It ain't even just that either. I'm gonna start training recruits soon too." Bucky chest puffs only slightly but Darcy can see it. "You know what that means, Doll? That means my contribution to this-" Bucky gestures around them though it obvious he's referring to the Initiative as a whole. "ain't just my body count. I am going to be part of a bigger solution... One of the _good guys._ " The admission stills him and he straightens. "I can say I'm standing on my own two feet now. I am so much closer to being whole."

"Buck-" Darcy sighs to remind him that he had always been whole, though possibly slightly chipped, this whole time but he continues without giving room for her sentiment.

"I wanna get a place." He blurts out and it takes a moment for the surprise to settle in.

He continues.

"A place outside of the Compound. Either in town or most likely outside the outskirts. I like a little space." He shrugs a bit. "I mean but it's got to be close enough for work obviously but I will build something with my own two hands if that's what's gotta be done so it's perfect. Whatever it takes to give a separate place to call home at the end of the day." He brings his eyes to hers and waits.

This was?... This was great! Darcy has spent weeks knotting up at the guilt of Bucky being left in this cell without her. Now he was plotting his own escape. Finally a sliver of light in the what has been a murky few weeks.

"A+ Idea! Bravo!" She beams. Bucky chest dips with relief. He slides to his knees and kneels at her bedside, directly in front of her. He pulls at her until she is on the side of the mattress and her knees hooked over the side. Each of his arms rest on the bed surrounding either side of her and resting the top of her bum.

"Yeah? You really think so? You ain't just saying what I want to hear, are ya?"

Darcy light puffs a laugh and brushes Bucky's fallen hair from his forehead.

"No Bucko. I'm not just telling you what you want to hear." She smiles softly and he sighs happily before dropping his face to rest his cheek on the top of her thigh. Darcy runs her fingers through his hair and Bucky palms are flat against her.

They stay like this for only a moment longer before Bucky speaks without moving the position.

"I am so relieved, Doll. Seriously, you shoulda felt my heart thumpin' back there waiting on your reaction." He pulls her into his space tighter."I know you're every bit the modern woman but still didn't feel right suggesting playing house without a ring or anything." Darcys hands swiftly tapper from the fringe of his neck. Her eyes widen. "Guess the fact that even crossed my mind show there is more Brooklyn Bucky in me than we thought, huh?" He laughs and moves his face to press a light kiss to the thigh he still rest on. "I'm gonna make you so happy, Darce. Everyday."

Her heart pulses through her tightening throat. The top of her breast heave with the weight of her forced breath.

"Buck-" She pleads breathlessly "Buck, no."

He head whips up. His eyes meet hers. His face alarmed and desperately searching her's. As he continues to find nothing to read, his expression turns fearful. Darcy wills herself to speak only on the idea it will ease the furrow between his brow.

"Buck-" She begins.

"You've said that." Bucky grows impatient.

She aims to calm him. She moves to rest a hand on either side of face.

"We've really got to better at this whole communication thing, ya know that?" She goes for lighthearted but his face remains unchanged. "Bucko, the last time we were?..." Darcy trails off and motions at the bed.

"I know, al'right. Stark's was a mess. ...  _I_ was a mess. I know, you don't have to tell me. But Doll, I can fix this. I can give you a space away from here where you can breath. Where I can work on myself for us." He ignores her furious head shaking denial.  "Look, I can even start now. I'll talk to Steve. See if I can get us into the married suites like Jane's. Just let me prove that I can get pass that. For you, please."

"I shouldn't be the focus of your recovery!" Darcy shouts towards the ceiling before looking back down at Bucky still on his knees in front of her. "I shouldn't." She says a little meeker. 

Bucky brings a hand to rest on the back of Darcy's neck and draws her forward. Their foreheads touching.

"You are though, Doll. You're everything." 

Tears prick near the stinging rims of Darcy's eyes.

"Please don't say that." She nearly whimpers. "Please."

"But I mean it." He affirms. "I should have been saying it this whole time to be honest." He slides his hand to her jaw and raises her head. "Sweetheart, I should have said it the very first time I knew I was so stupid, dumb in love with you."

"Oh God!" Darcy hand goes over her mouth. The drop of stomach make her instantly sick with nausea. She bends at the middle to put her head over her knees.

Bucky tracks her movements and brings a gentle hand to lay a flat palm on her back.

"Uh, well they said I had an affect on the ladies though I am sure it wasn't quite-"

He is joking. That means he was hopeful. Happy, even. Another wave of sickness flows over Darcy. Eager to stave it off she lets her admission bluntly burst from its hold.

"I'm leaving, Bucko."

Bucky's hand still and he pulls back. Darcy dares to lift herself and look at him.

His face is impassive.

She pauses briefly. Allowing the time to form the articulation she robbed herself of.

"Tony offered me a position. Officially. In Manhattan." Bucky slowly brings his hand out from behind Darcy. He pulls back the rest of his body and rests his weight on his heels.

"Of course he did." His tone manages to still be accusing even with a slow broken drawl to it. "And you what? Jumped at the idea?"

"No!" Darcy defends before dropping from the bed and mirroring Bucky's keeled position on the floor. "Just the opposite, actually. I fought the idea _for weeks_. I wanted to tell you about it first. Explain why I thought this was actually a great opportunity for the  _both_ of us. Because it  _is_ a great opportunity for the both of us." He does not give her much by way of a physical tell. She grows desperate and nearly pleading as she puts her hands on either of his biceps and physically turns him to face her head on.

"I mean it when I say I shouldn't be your reason." She slows. "New York? Whatever was developing. Between us. It set you off. It set you  _back."_ She waits for his eyes to agree with her. If even slightly.

"I can't be okay with that, Buck." Her shoulders dip.

"Though, I knew if I waited to talk to you before I made this decision, that I wouldn't do it. I _promise_ you when I say the idea of being away wasn't something I even knew I could handle. You've become such a part of me, Bucko." She places a hand on his cheek and he places a hand over her's. She smiles weakly. "We're best buds."

His hand drops at her declaration.

"Look though. Look, we almost did 2 whole months with a couple calls and we're still standing." Her voice grows hopeful . "Plus, when you're not in the field we have tons of ways to constantly communicate. Skype, text, good old fashion drunk dials." She chuckles. "You name it, we've got."

"I don't want any of those. I want  _you."_ Bucky shifts out of her grip. Darcy nearly loses balance as Bucky quickly stands. He paces the remaining space of the small room.

"You still have me." Darcy offers and Bucky turns but his face is skeptical. "We'll always be connected. Nothing will ever change that."

"You just did. You're leaving. The funny thing is we seems to both have plans for what's best. Your's is the only one that puts most of the state of New York between us." He was steady and calm. It was terrifying.

"I shouldn't be your reason-" She goes to repeat quietly before he roars with an interruption.

"What does it matter my reason?! I'm healing!" Darcy jumps at level of intensity.

"Sorry."

He apologizes curtly before stoically staring at an imaginary spot above Darcy's bedroom door.

"I'm doing this for you as much as I am doing it for me." Darcy says quietly, still looking at the floor. 

A few minutes tick by.

"You know what I think? I think you're running. Only I don't think you even know what it is you're running from exactly. You tell yourself that you need away from here. That I need the space. But you know what? I think you're trying to get away from these." Bucky lifts his shirt to reveal the bottom of Darcy's words on his skin. Darcy quickly face averts her gaze. "You've spent your whole life thinking your Words weren't going to amount to anything. Now the realization that they are, that I ain't going anywhere and don't you know what to do with it."

Darcy has yet to look up. 

"That's not fair. I am allowed motivations outside of being marked. I didn't choose any of this."

Darcy feels the bitterness rising in her while Bucky's shoulders slump in defeat.

Long stretches of silences, only broken with occasional sighs or dropped sentiments before they can leave the lips fill the time. 

Bucky braves the first toe in the new waters between them.

"Is this really what you want, Darcy?"

Darcy remains perfectly still.

Bucky nods before exiting from the room. 

Darcy drapes her top half over the side of her bed. She doesn't have the strength to cry. She just lays there, half on the floor, half over the mattress, numb and drained listening to Bucky move around the space they share. He moves from the bathroom to the kitchenette. She listens to him puttering around, wondering if he'll walk out.

It is after some time that she encourages herself to her feet and seek out the source of the noise. She finds Bucky at the stove. She leans up against the small divide of the rooms.

"What are you making?" She asks.

"Breakfast." He answers without looking back at her. "I figure if I got you to myself for 24 hours, I ain't gonna share you with the whole Mess Hall just to get some chow."

She pads up behind him as he mans a skillet. She slips each arm under either of his and clasps her hands just below his broad chest. It brings her front flush with his back. She rest her chin just below his right shoulder. Neither make mention of the contact.

They breath together.

Darcy moves the point of contact from her chin to her forehead as she presses it into Bucky.

"So does this mean you're eventually going to be okay with me going? "

"I sure as Hell won't ever be _happy_ about it!" Bucky raised voice magnifies with the vibration Darcy can feel rippling through him. It is accompanied by the sounds of him slightly lifting and throwing the pan back onto the stove top.

It makes Darcy jump. She goes to pull back from him and sulk back to the bedroom.

His hand lands soft and flat against her arm to stop her in motion. He draws her back to her original position but leaves the hand not preparing the food to resting on her.

"Just stay. Al'right?" He pats the place her hands connect once more.

The double meaning of his words heavily surrounds them as Darcy lays her cheek to Bucky's back and he continues working.

 ~*~

_He was exhausted._

Seven weeks of chasing down trails and following leads throughout Europe wasn't even the culprit.

No, he was emotionally drained. He was angry. He was heartbroken. He was determined. He was defeated.

The only positive point being, after decades not feeling  _anything,_ the fact he can differentiate between the half dozen or so emotions swimming under the surface at the moment was a testament to his recovery.

The thing he couldn't give himself a passing grade on was still standing at his back. Her arms still joined around him.

He knew what a lost of control felt like. He knew what it is like to have zero say in the direct actions of others around him no matter how they directly affected him.

Though this time, he was not going to fight for it back. It wasn't his fight. She wasn't out to capture nor control him. She was running from herself.

He turns off the stove. He brings his metal hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and he sighs. He sighs deep and he sighs heavy.

When she begins to stir with the shift, he takes her hand and leads her towards the table. He pulls out a chair for himself and gently tugs her to him so she'll sit across his lap.

His right arm slopes from the slim of her waist to lay flat on the outside of her thigh. Her arm resting lazily around his shoulder and with her cheek pressed to his forehead.

There is nothing to say. No one is going to change the mind of the other. The communication had become irreparable long before they got here.

She pulls back and smiles at him. It's not a lighthearted, easy smile. He doesn't mention it. He doesn't have any other words to throw in the ring. He just brings his hand up to cradle her chin and press his thumb to the corner of her mouth. He's caught at the stark contrast of the metal against her fair complexion. It's memorizing, familiar and strange all at once.

He lets the rest of his hand spread across the side of her cheek. Even under this man made weapon she feels so right in his embrace.

Her expression relaxes. She runs the very tip of her tongue over the tiniest bit of her bottom lip. When he becomes fixated on the act, she stops. They meet eyes and yet play coy. It's pointless. They both have been caught. Neither can deny the pull towards each other.

Now is not the time for words.

He directs her down to him. When their lips touch the connection is assured. It feels right.

Neither pull away. They only move to deepen the connection where their mouths meet. Slowly her hands move to cup either side of his face. He uses both hands to shift her slightly in the the chair. Their fronts are closer to parallel then perpendicular now.

His hand rest on her leg and creeps up to the bottom of her tiny sleep shorts. He is ever-so-slightly teasing the skin just under the hem of the pant leg. It feel illicit. It is as sensual as it is innocent. His hand breaches the barrier and it slides to take a firm helping of what he can of her ample backside. She moans softly into his mouth.

He's floored. He grips the hip pressing into him. With one eased motion he lifts her to allow her to readjust so she has one leg on either side of him. Her thighs spread slightly as she sits perched on his lap.

He has no words at the sight she creates. Her lips swollen with his kiss. Her eyes half hooded and blown black.

She shivers as cool metal skims the skin just under her shirt. Though she soon melts into the touch as each of his hands continue to travel upward and collect the garment as they go.

Just before he frees the soft cotton over her head, she bends forward and kisses him hard and confident. She smirks at the finish and he removes the item.

Her breast. The beautiful mounds awaiting him to lean slightly and capture the rosy, pointed nipple between the grasp of his lips. He does. She reacts favorably and arches into him. He rewards her by darting his tongue over the tighten ball of sensitive skin. She bears down onto him. Her hips move with want and begin to seek out friction.

He accommodates by sitting straighter in the embrace. His mouth now on her collarbone. He runs his tongue in the shallow pool made by her clavicle. He slows as he reaches her Words. He presses a single soft kiss on the term of endearment at the beginning and looks up at her.

She is pleased with the sentiment. Her smile is genuine. She pushes lightly at his shoulders to allow herself access to the hem of his own shirt. He huffs lightheartedly when he senses what she is after. His hands smooth down her back and drift off the sides before he assist in removing the only barrier between her naked top and his.

She briefly appraises before laying a flat, secure palm flat against the Words etched into his skin. She leans forward again and claims him.  He resumes the careful attention to her neck and finds a spot along her jawline that creates the most enchanting sound he's ever heard. He catalogs the area and reminds himself to visit it often.

The press of her hips pick up again. She has found the aching bulge through his sweatpants. With every other shift, a sweet sound escapes. He grips her hips to aid with the traction.  Her panting soon turns into a near whimper. Before she is too far gone, he slows them. He thinks he may of heard his name followed by a plea.

He wants to give her everything she needs. 

He sit back. He plots. He savors the course his hands take smoothing over her thighs and up towards her heat. He pauses one hand on the ascent but his metal one keeps on course to cup one round back cheek with a firm press. She shifts at the surprising roughness. She lifts a brow. He returns it with a playful, predatory grin. She smiles and pushes back into the contact. He raises to the challenge. He makes use of his grip to slide her meaningfully over his hardness once more. She closes her eyes and bites her lip.

He's won.

He continues on with his flesh hand. He doesn't hesitate at the hem of her shorts this time. The fleshy pad of his thumb taking the lead. When it reaches the very front of her fold, her breath hitches. He runs the digit from the bottom of her wet slit up and back up. He moves it from side to side to gently part her. The position leaves him right on his intended destination. He's right on top of her sensitive little bud. Her eyes close tighter. Her hands fist his hair. He fights the hold to motion for a deep kiss before beginning.

His movements are subtle at first. It is a eased touch with little exaggeration. He lightly circles around the area. Billowy breaths release from her as he continues to hover but never actually touch her where she needs it most.

She is nearly pleading before he presses it lightly. She calls out her gratitude and cradles his head into her naked chest. He peppers kisses on the space he has been guided.

His metal hand  now flat on her back and bracing her for the inevitable. His God given thumb still working her over as she begins to build.He push the remaining fabric of her shorts slightly to the side. With a small turn of his wrist, he draws the rest of his hand to her. The tip of one finger stops at her entrance. She bucks against the contact and he proceeds to gently slide it into her. 

Her head drops forward and he uses his steady hand to make sure she doesn't slide right off his lap. His hand working farther south in relentless. She gathers herself despite his best attempts at to getting her close to undone. She lifts herself and kisses him hungrily. 

Forward and back. Forward and back. She desperately rides his hand. He chuckles and brings a second long, tantalizing finger up to enter her. She moans loudly at the slow insertion and he doesn't tease this time. He is quick to find a steady rhythm to pump along to. The finesse in which the way his thumb works her clit can only be some long forgotten muscle memory.

The idea that he actually knows what he is doing spurs him. He greedily coaxes her to an edge he has been only teaseing her to this far. Little warning pumps begin around the bit of him inside her. He centers her by lightly pushing her into him. His mouth quickly moves from her chest, up her neck and to the very spot he promised to revisit. 

He delivers one darting swipe of his tongue followed by a firm pressed of his mouth, quickly followed by another, and another.

She comes unglued.

Warm gushes flow over the pulsations engulfing his fingers. He finds she doesn't wail. She gives delightful throaty moans as she comes. He thinks the noise is transcendent.

Her chest, shoulders and head give out first. She drapes herself over him. He prides himself on being her physical support. He holds her while her breath evens out. It takes a few long moments but he does not move.

When she sits up, her grin is lazy and sated. She kisses him sweetly as he withdraws his hand from her center. When she sucks in a breath at the sensitivity, he steadies her with both hands secure on her hips.

She loops her hands around his neck and her pecks three short kisses to his puckered mouth. She looks down between them. The laugh that come out freely is undoubtedly conspiring. She was just as responsible for what just took place as he was.

She brushes a hair caught on his damp forehead. The action is intensely intimate. He moves forward to join them once more. As he stands he drapes her legs to hang on his hips. She takes the liberty to hook her ankles behind him. He cups her rear and walks them back into the bedroom.

When he reaches the foot of the bed, he takes great care in laying her down with all the delicate detail he's capable of. When her back is on the mattress he runs his arm along her arms as not let them hit the space without his gentle touch there to guide her.

He stands and looks her over. She lays there with arms open and knees bent. Her head rolls to peer around her legs. She is smiling and not moving her sight from the erection straining against his pants. He laughs and bends to remove her thoroughly wreck shorts. Her legs straighten and lay flat on the bed. He drops to her lower half. He draws his face into the small weft of damp curls. He could stay here all day, blanketed by her scent. He kisses the apex of both thighs near her gorgeous cunt. She shudders at the contact but laughs as he does the same to her unparted opening. She tries to wiggle out of his admiration. He places a palm flat on her stomach to stop her escape and he stands again.

She brings her feet back up on the bed. Her knees fall open and she makes grabby hands for him through the space.

He thinks this is the closest he's guaranteed to Heaven.

He loses the one piece of clothing left between them. Even if he had taken his eyes off her while he undressed, there still would have been no denying her reaction. Her heavy swallow was audible and she looks at his thick, uncut length as if it is her salvation.

He lets her approval fuel him. He prowls up the bed and settles himself in the space she created between her thighs. He is pressed just below is navel to her warm, wet core. After he slots his mouth to hers, he props his upper half to look down.

Her enthusiastic anticipation readies him but he can't make the leap. For him, this is everything. A culmination. A privately poignant spot in an other public biography. The World may have their opinions of him but this is about them.

She senses his hesitation. She sweeps her finger tips up his rib-cage reassuringly. When that doesn't do much to bring him back she guides him down to her with a gentle push on his shoulder blades. Her kiss is familiar and comfortable but more than enough to leave him affected. Soon he's lost in her and eager to continue. She is the one to help the action along. She navigates her arm between him. She takes his full girth in her hand. She pumps it just as she had in New York. His mouth drops to her shoulder with a shaky breath. It doesn't stop her. She lifts and slightly maneuvers him. He feels the very tip of himself at her wetness. She uses him to make a scant amount of space for him and then leaves him there. She reclaims him by engulfing him in an embraces. Her arms over his and hands in his hair. She hushes him in his ear and he knows it is to quiet the voices. 

She shifts once to remind him of their position but it is clear it is his move, his choice.

He breaths in deeply before entering her without resistance. They both get caught by the sensation. He trembles at the contact.

Nothing in this new world has ever felt more like home.

He doesn't move. She whispers sweet words of encouragement while running soft hands down the expanse of his toned back. He still doesn't move. He is memorizing the feel of her. A nervous tick from his time as a captive.  If he were to be wiped again tomorrow, he would fight to never forget how she feels like this.

He can feel her worry. He knows she thinks they have pushed it to far. She moves to reposition them. Though she is not removing him from her, she is aiming to get on top. She is committed to what they are doing, even if she has to guide him through.

He loves her and all the ways she cares for him.

He stops her just as her leg has picked up enough momentum that it may actually turn him. He pecks his gratitude in a long line from behind her ear, down her neck, and across her shoulder. As he does so, he begins to move. She hums her approval and allows him to lead.

His stokes start small. Testing. Each one builds his confidence and he pulls out a bit more of himself to thrust back in. Each ending with the downward snap of his hips after slapping against her splayed opening. He didn't have to be whole to remember that the sound she is making meant he was angling their positioning just right. He starts to slowly glide himself back up her slick after each connection and before he slides himself out again. The combination sparks a wanton reaction in her. She jolts her hips to meet his. Her grip on his back is firm under her finger tips. She approves with a raspy cry every time he bottoms out.

He feels it too. The sensation around the press of their bodies. The undeniable connection. They were made for each other.

She begins to tense. The same little pulses begin around his cock as they had with his hand. He has brought her to the brink once more. He gives two more press of his hips. He keeps the same steady pace. He moves then, pulling back far enough to get a hand where they join. He slides his right hand over her aching spot. It only takes a few swipes and the tension begins to release through her. He can feel tight grab her insides make at him. It's as if she was some how asking him not to run, even though he had no where else he would rather be. 

His hand continues the movement, though slowed, until she has ridden out the entire climax. When he is confident that she has collected herself well enough, he picks the pace of his own thrusting. It wasn't as if he had a choice, really. His body responses to the invitation earnestly. Bringing her over the edge that was enough to make him want to fall over the side of the Earth with her. It was by a miracle he hadn't. 

With their fronts smashed delightfully together and his mouth over her lips, he drives into her. Her hands are on either bicep and she is fiercely kissing him back. He doesn't immediately realize the desperate, hungry cries are coming from him. It is not until her touch smooths down his arms to comfort him does he notice how vocal he is.

He draws his face up to look her in the eyes. She meets his contact. She is his safe place, his chance to let go. He tightly gathers the sheets in his clenched fist. One more pump and the promise of euphoria gathers at the base of his spine. Another pump and it spreads, radiating outwards. Another pump and his mind is overcome with a primal need to spill himself inside of her. One last pump and he reaches nirvana.

His release sputters out of him. Each bit causing a exquisite convulsion. Each tremor a celebrated loss of mental clarity. All he knew is what he could feel. Right now, all he could feel was Darcy.

"Bucko- I mean...  _wow_. I mean, forgive me but I don't think I have any other words. I mean... just  _wow."_

Bucky lifts his face from the pillow of soft curls he must have nestled into.

Darcy was smiling warmly up at him.

Darcy palms his cheeks and draws him down to lovingly place slow pecks over every inch of his face not covered by her hands.

Bucky doesn't talk. He has nothing that make this moment better _or_ worse. 

For now he just wants to be here. To lay here without the possibility of her leaving _or_  staying.

Bucky studies her face. He wants to remember every tiny thing about the way she looked in their after glow.

 Darcy closes her eyes and sighs further into a satisfied relaxation. Bucky place a single, gentle kiss on each closed lid and one on her forehead. He withdraws from her and lays next to her on his left side. He reaches across and adjust her until her naked back is flush against his front.

They lay long enough their breathing syncs. 

He finally feels ready to speak.

Bucky kisses her shoulder and lays a flat hand over her words.

"Doll?" He almost whispers into her ear. "We ain't ever going to be made for other people like we are made for each other."

Darcy gives nothing away but he still fears her face would tell him everything if he could see it.

Her voice cracks once before she manages to respond.

"I know, Bucko."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does she stay? Does she go? Round 'n round we go!
> 
> (As a thank you, I will tell she DOESN'T wind up pregnant. You're welcome.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would really read the notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fun notes. Three days prior to beginning this chapter, unbeknownst to me, I had conceived a baby. I've had said baby (on Christmas!), baby is now 6 months old, and I guess it's time to finish this bad boy up. Good news is that IT IS FINISHED! Like done. Bad news is you get one chapter today and one chapter plus epilogue over the weekend. Let a gal keep some of her mystery, okay?! I made sure as heck I didn't leave this untold. Meh news: We can say I barley proof read this. I wanted this done. I want to finish Kevin Conster Called this Summer too and I want to sit back and not feel guilty every time I log in to devour everyone else's hard work. 
> 
> Tl;DR. I know this took forever. You'll have your ending by this weekend. Troll all my grammatical errors, IDGAF. I have a life.

"Tony will be there Thursday for the set up. So long as you watch him like a hawk and don't let him mess with any of my specs, your fancy new Vaultberamator should be up and ready for action by night fall." Darcy held the phone to her ear as she looked over the six foot piece of equipment resting on her work table, awaiting to be properly packaged. "I still can't believe you actually agreed to let Stark upgrade your equipment. I thought you had another five years of stanch stubbornness in you if I am being honest."

"I didn't agree to Tony upgrading my equipment, Darcy. I agreed to have _you_ redesign my equipment. You know your way around my machines better than anyone, myself included. You having access to all of SI's lackeys in the Tower was finally enough cause to get me see the bright side of not making regular duct tape runs."

"Oh Janey! You think I'm a real engineer!"

"Of course I do." Jane sounds matter of fact. It pleases Darcy. "You think I would be al'right with you taking off for parts unknown- or Manhattan, for that matter, if I didn't think you were actually doing something worth while?"

Darcy lets the line go quiet.

"How is he?" Her voice finally finds its cracked way to the surface.

Jane sighs heavily.

"He's fine. He's busy. I don't see him much outside of his regular weekly drop ins, _which,_ I know you put him up to, to escort me to lunch and make sure I'm getting something square in."

Darcy makes a noise to protest but knows it's moot.

"He has the new recruits. Some of these kids practically follow him around like a puppy dog. It's almost amusing to see the horror mixed with pride settle that deep grove in his brow." Jane laughs and Darcy feels left out of the joke.

It's Jane's turn to go quiet.

"You should call him." She nudges gently.

"Not sure he'd welcome the gesture." Darcy mumbles almost pathetically.

"You know that's not true." Jane's voice gets stern. Darcy was just about to silently questions whether weekly lunch dates constitutes Jane rooting for the other team but Darcy doesn't because she actually knows Jane is right.

She had tried in earnest. For months she tried. She wasn't lying when she said wasn't leaving to abandon Bucky. She tried everything she could to keep the rapport open. Teaching a Ninety-seven year old Super Solider Facetime was surprisingly easy. She'd sent care packages of things she'd find around the city to maybe allow him to feel a connection to the chapter her life was in.

Bucky had been honest though. He didn't want Darcy like that. He still tried because he would have done anything for her. Though the strain over calls and video chat had become apparent as early as the third month. She could feel him start to borderline on bitter shortly thereafter.

When he finally sighed with a heavy heart and asked her to actually give the space she thought he so desperately needed, she obliged. She told herself she would only call weekly, every ten days even, if she was feeling particularly strong enough not to reach out sooner.

Though she never called again after that.

The first week had settled in and she realized she sincerely felt foolish for chasing to close a distance she had set between them. So she never called and after another five months wondered if he would answer if she found the nerve.

She would never tell anyone how she still cried at every call from Mission Support to let her know another mission had been complete. That he was en-route to the compound. That he would arrive with no one to ease him after the bad mission.

She never corrected them. She never told them she may not be Bucky's loved one anymore because he hadn't told them either and it gave her hope.

"Just think about it, al'right?" Jane's voice brings Darcy back to the call. "There might be some stuff he wants to tell you himself." Darcy doesn't miss the restraint in her friend's voice.

"Jane?"

"Look, I gotta get back to it here. Think about it, Darce."

Darcy doesn't push and they end the call. What could Bucky have to tell her that he not call himself?

Her face is still pursed as runs her tongue over her teeth in thought.

"Oh good. You're in a mood. I will get to valiantly save you with my plans."

Darcy looks up at Tony walking into sanctioned lab space in Stark Industries R&D department. He continues towards her to deliver a warm drink in a paper cup and before Darcy can even get it to her lips, she knows it's one of those fancy caramel numbers Stark claims to hate but uses her as an excuse to buy two of and bring them to the labs twice a week or so.

"I'm not in a mood." She defends with a sour tone for someone who just received a delicious caffeinated gift. Tony seems unaffected as he run an approving eye over at large amount of metal ready for delivery to the compound.

He takes a sip from his own cup. "Ya know what? Putting on a brave face is actually going to help your travels. Keep it up." He does nothing to show he is going to elaborate.

"What are you talking about?"

"Fancy machine you designed here, kid." He knocks his knuckle on Jane's machine.

"Even after I declined your suggestions of making it Red and Gold?" Darcy lifts an eyebrow.

"Yeah well, you lost a couple points on aesthetics but still, damn fine job. You should be proud."

"I am." She nods her head enthusiastically once. She isn't afraid of admitting her blood, sweat and- okay, her dark eye bags and lacking social life- have not been for naught. She made something incredible.

"Good. You're going to install it. You should be there for the maiden voyage." Tony takes a large sip after that but never looks at Darcy.

"Tony- no. We agreed you should make the trip. I thought you wanted to check on the compound anyway?"

Tony waves her off.

"I can do that anytime, Lewis. We both know I haven't because Rogers is such a snooze." Tony rolls his eyes.

"Lair." Darcy accuses.

"You're right but that's far better than avoidance."

"Excuse me?"

"Avoiding. You? Barnes? The only time anyone sees you smile anymore is when you're elbow deep in grease and gadgets? Which, don't get me wrong, kid. That's a pretty great way to spend a day but it ain't a life."

"Excuse me, what?" Darcy shakes her head as if to try and clue in to where this conversation was going. It doesn't work "No really. What?!"

"Try and keep up here, the newest legal heir to a fortune I never asked for. I am sending you for the install. Aside from anything else, you deserve to be there for it. Any another business you need to tend to, personal or otherwise, I strongly advise you to do so. Capisce?" Tony bends to kiss the top of a stunned silent Darcy's head as he walk to the door he entered.

"What?!" She pleads again. Tony response without turning back to her.

"You've said that. Try again."

"Tony!" She demands.

Tony huffs and dramatically dips his shoulders as he faces her once again.

"Don't make me say it, kiddo. Pep has already got the monopoly on forcing me to use words to express my emotions. If I have to somehow say I would like to see if you could maybe reconcile whatever is going on between you and Murder Boy, than I might be forced to drink. Please don't. Please think of my sobriety." He rest a hand over his chest.

"It's not... it's not like that though." Darcy says to her shoes.

"It's not?" Tony makes a doubtful face. He sighs towards the ceiling. "Look, I don't like this. I will probably never like it. Thing is though, I like what it's doing to you even less." Darcy looks up. "Kid, the size of the understatement ' _he_ _'s got issues_ ' is would not only fill out the Hulk containment room, it would cause the shatterproof walls to crack under pressure. _He's got issues_." Tony pointedly looks at her. "But you got 'em too."

Darcy is slightly taken a back. 

"Sorry. Issues are kinda my forte. It's hard for me not to see them." Tony shrugs in lieu of an sincere apology. "He ain't your Dad, ya know? Regardless of what his words said he made no hint at leaving you." Guilt fills Darcy at that. 

She quiets and looks over her work.

"And maybe... maybe I made it easy by paving the yellow brick road for you to leave. I'm not sorry for worrying but ya know, maybe I shouldn't have..."

"Don't do that." She cuts him off. "Don't you take on what's not yours to regret." She stands still facing away from him. "I left." She looks at Tony. "That was my choice. I have lived so sure I would end up on my own that I am just now realizing how I never gave any other idea a chance." She sighs and looks at the floor. "It may have been a self centered choice but I am not selfish enough to believe a bond survived me leaving."

"I have been mistaken in the belief he _is_  your Soulmate?"

"Like I said, it's not like that." Darcy repeats.

"Now who's the liar?" He smiles. "Be ready by 0800." Tony wink to carry on out of the room before he turns once more. "Oh and Darce? Remind him. If he hurts you, I will kill him. Dead. How's that for a shovel talk, huh?" At that Tony finally makes his exit.

Darcy watches long enough until he is two doors down. She looks into the space of the lab trying to make some sense of what went on just now. She looks back to her work table.

What?

"Wait!" She calls out. "Did you really put me in your Will?!"

~*~

Knots and nerves. Nerves and knots.

The Quint Jet sets itself down gently on to the helipad as Darcy defies the well-intended pilots request she stay seated during landing. She instead chooses to grip the sides of the crate housing Jane's machine as if she were to physically protect it her should the descent become bumpy.

This was it. The lift gate would open and she would be back at the very place she thought she had escaped from. The hydraulic sounded and the large back door lifted. Not only had Jane been there to welcome her but a burly blonde Space God was by the tiny woman's side.

Darcy's heart ached. The comfort of seeing the two waiting for her was a feeling of home. She was glad she had come.

Excitement quickly ensued. Girlish squealing and giddy clapping was being performed by the largest of the trio. It was enough to bring the considerably smaller two out of their embrace with a chuckle.

"Well Thor's certainly thrilled for the unveiling." Jane rest a hand on his massive biceps as he bounces on his toes.

"Aye, I am ever a fan of Warrior Darcy's knowledge. I am more so when I know it is to bridge together all your hard work. Never a finer pair than you two." Both women look down with a fond blush.

Darcy clears her throat. "Well. Let's see if it even works first, Big Guy." She straightens herself and rights the end of her long cardigan. "Without further ado... Dr. Jane Foster, your new, expensively improved, Vaultberamator!" Darcy gestures to the large crate behind her much like a game show spokes model. She beams with pride at the box before realizing Thor's clamoring from before was not only back it had a jovial accompaniment. She turns to both Jane and Thor doing little to contain their excitement. She finds she wants to indulge in the mood. She claps in a peppy, rapid concession as her smile grows even wider.

"Come, let us make our way to the lab!" Thor rouses them in their celebration and leads on towards the next phase.

Darcy leaves the landing pad no longer fearful she might run into Bucky before she even knew what she would say. She hadn't thought about him at all. She followed behind the careful men moving her machine and set her sights on Jane's lab.

~*~

"Aaaaaand, that's that! Let her cool down a bit and we can do another trial run in an hour or so.That should give Thor plenty of time to make it back with our snacks anyways." Darcy wiped the grease from her screwdriver on to an oil rag. She turns to Jane who is the embodiment of the heart eye emoji.

"Slow down, Turbo. I mean it. One hour. At least." She warns with the point of her tool.

"I know, I know." Jane sighs. "It's just so pretty."

Darcy laughs. Her attention shifted from Jane's lust for metal to the chanting growing in fervor out the the wall of windows facing the large plain of grass separating the main facilities and the training barracks. Jane seemed to pay it no mind yet Darcy's curiosity was peaked. She made her way to the large wall of glass.

"Darcy! No-" Jane was by her side once she clued into Darcy's destination.

There was a large circle formed. N _ot unlike a fight ring_ , Darcy thought to herself. Men and women she did not recognized all faced in towards center. Each carrying on with exuberant cheers. Soon from the fringe a lone man emerged. The crowd erupted. The young man raised his arm to further rally the crowd's support. This was going to be a match. The group was waiting for blood.

"Darce, seriously-" Jane tries again. Darcy remains unmoved.

Then _he_ steps forward.

Bucky, her soulmate, takes two confident strides towards the challenger.

She would not have been able to will her heart to slow its hard, steady thud if she had pleaded with it personally. The action soon rising to her ears. The tightening of her throat only make the pull in her lungs all the more apparent. The adrenaline pulsing through her made it hard to deny seeing the man for whom her soul was tied to had any affect on her. She was literally beginning to ache just at the sight of him.

It has been the first time she laid eye on him that wasn't on a computer screen in the better part of a year. He was nearly how she remembered, not that she could have truly forgotten. Though this Bucky, does hold himself differently. This Bucky with his hair making the way in length once, again, stood straighter. His chest seemed broader, only second to the lines of his shoulders. The same shoulders she watch move to tuck into his shirt as he removed the entire thing over his head and tossed by the wayside. The people grew fanatical. The sound escalating well pass Darcy's glass barrier. It draws her from gaze. She clues into the fact Bucky is preparing for a small battle.

"They're not going to?..."

"No." Jane sighs with little concern. "He's got some deal worked out with the recruits that should one of them hit perfect marks that section, he'll let that recruit challenge him to a no-holds-bar spar where he teaches them moves way too advanced for their beginning skill set." Jane smirks fondly. "It has become quite the spectacle, as you can see." She gestures to the make shift arena. "They'll probably have to move it back into the gym once the weather dips further but for now none of the labs, offices or what have you facing the yard have made no mention of hating the view." Jane laughs before she thinks better of it. "I'm sorry." Jane fumbles out awkwardly as she lays a hand on Darcy's forearm. "Why don't we go find Thor?"

"No, don't be silly, Jane. I'm not going to die standing here watching him." Darcy steels herself and half heartily rolls her eyes though she understands her friends concern. She had been in Jane's place when Thor first returned after all. Only this time Darcy had been the one to leave and have no contact.

She can feel herself be examined. Jane's arms are crossed in a silent appraisal before turning to face the same direction. By this time Bucky had finished with some basic instructions and the tussle had gotten underway. She watches him move. The finesse and certainty in his action was overwhelmingly Bucky. He moved as if it was a dance. The long lines of his body swept through the space between he and his opponent. Darcy stood memorized by the long, lean plains of his shoulders dip to pick up the smaller gentleman and drape him across his frame. His swift turn let Darcy see his face.

Where she expected to see a dark, menacing stare, he was soft and almost lighthearted. He was having fun. He was happy. He was in an element she hadn't even known existed to him.

It guts her to realize she hadn't seen him like this more. This expression of his wasn't as easy to come by the lifetime ago she had last seen him.

The crowd's noise raises as he drops the boy to his back and demonstrates a few quick footed hand to throat moves that leaves the gathered mass in near hysterics. Bucky laughs. He honest to goodness laughs and it sounds as if someone had released the audible embodiment of Honeysuckle into the wind.

Darcy doesn't know the man with the crinkle lines just around his eyes, standing proudly among his followers basking in his praise.

Jane turns back to her work shortly after the bout is complete. For her the show was over but for Dacry, this is where it had started to really take on peak fascination.

The pack began to disperse at a slow pace. Some taking time to thank Bucky on the way out. It wasn't until the area was nearly sparse did Darcy notice the small blonde women not moving with the others.

The woman was waiting. She was waiting and holding something. She was waiting and holding the shirt Bucky had discarded earlier. The garment whimsically sweeping in front of her was matched by the swing of her hips. The rhythm of the which only picked up a more seductive dip once she had realized that the owner of the item had finally set eyes on it after a quick scan of the ground where he had tossed it.

While his face gave away nothing, the tiniest bit Darcy could see of the other women's profile said so much more. Her grin was wide, knowing, and dripping with a predatory sexuality. Bucky smiles slowly once he realizes she holds what he is looking for. When he reaches for the shirt, she pulls back a little. It becomes this little sidestep of flirtation. Who, of which, is an active participant in is not exactly clear to Darcy. Bucky makes no move to end the shuffle, nor does reach pass the bridge of his soft grey cotton undershirt to close the distance.

His eyes though. Those eyes were undeniable. There were entire history courses dedicated to the intention behind the look Bucky Barnes was giving this women.

Something from long ago has awaken in Bucky. Darcy just hadn't been the recipient.

 _Oh_. Darcy thought. _Oooooh. Of course, you daft cow. Bucky Barnes was single. Bucky Barnes was committing no crimes against decency by entertaining the attention of pretty little things playfully holding on to his belongings after a practice spar._

The one tip toeing up to the line of inappropriate was Darcy. She still stood here spying on him and this girl as if she had any right to be privy to private conversations. A point made more apparent when he lifted his head to laugh and it was as if a sudden pull had drawn him to look right into her window perch. She knew she was in the wrong when she had to fall back farther into the room to avoid detection, less she have to explain that she was being nosy.

Once she was certain she was free being spotted she closed her eyes and accepted how heavy her new realization settled on her. The space around her thick with the tension she was omitting. It may have been the only thing holding her upright as she focused on each breath coming and going. She stood just like that. Breathing in and out, unnoticed by the others in the room until Thor walked in with an armful of vending machine treasure, some open and half finished by the looks of it.

"My sister, are you well?" Thor called out and drawing the attention of Jane.

Darcy drew in one more solid breath. "Yep, Big Guy. Right as rain. Let's get a good sugar spike going so we can Science! the frick outa something, huh?" With that Darcy relived him of his haul and set about turning her focus back on the installation.

~ * ~

Jane shoved her out of the door. Literally.

It was nearing a late hour. Darcy had appropriately caught up with not only Jane but Thor. Darcy had pleaded with them to skip the Mess Hall for dinner for more conducive visiting ambiance . After she asked Thor, a for a third time, to slowly detail the new inner political workings on Asgard, Jane grew hip to a Darcy's stalling tactic and asked if Darcy was intending to maybe avoid seeing Bucky before her early morning departure.

That's exactly what she was doing.

Rather she was avoiding the newfound knowledge that she, in fact, knew absolutely nothing. She admits she knew not what to expect from seeing Bucky again. Though she never could have predicted her one woman audience to just how well he was doing in her absence. She never entertained the idea just how badly it would sting. The only solace she could take from the feeling unexpected emotional blindsiding is she knew she wouldn't be responsible doing the same to him. She wouldn't show up unannounced. Nope. He deserved that and more.

Further proof she knew nothing at all was the fact she was now standing at Bucky's door.

~*~

Without any where to really go, Darcy found herself roaming the halls of the quiet compound. She passed the labs and strolled by the empty office space. All of the usual inhabitants of both areas had long since retired for the night.

It was odd. Once, after London, Darcy had walked the grounds of her old collegiate alma mater. She remembered feeling as if everything seemed smaller. As if time in the world and the things she had seen somehow managed to physically shrink the entire town. She realized then it was she that grew. Emotionally. Mentally. She was stronger.

She didn't feel the same now. Her time away from here didn't do as much to feed her growth. If anything there was still a pull to this place.

It wasn't too long before she found herself in the resident halls. It wasn't much longer after that she happened upon the outside of her old door.

She sets a gentle hand on the soft surface. A significant part of her time here played out behind this very door and yet she could only replay the last half hour.

_"Well if you're here to help with the move, you are so very late and very, very lucky you have enough literal superhero level strength friends to pick up the slack." Darcy directs behind her as she takes in what was her living room only a day prior. It was now stripped of any personal effects and left was the compound issued furniture standard to every room. To her it might as well been completely bare. She was leaving something so much more than stiff couches and end tables and he was still standing in the door._

_She turns slightly and offers a raised brow and thin lipped smile. She knows he had been watching her from his spot well before she clued in to him being there._

_He shrugs. "Maybe some pizza and shitty beer wasn't much of an offer, Doll."_

_She doesn't poke back. The desire to joke through the awkwardness had long become a minefield in the few weeks of her packing. It was never certain how it was going to go._

_He must realize he wasn't going to even nibble the bait. He finishes entering the room and lifts a box up._

_"Sorry. It took some time tracking this down."_

_Neither speak as he set his treasure down and lifts the lid. It's a portable record player. Nothing fancy, much like the one her Mom had kept from her own teenage years more out of nostalgia than actual value._

_Darcy sees now the record sleeve tucked under Bucky's arm. She recognizes it. They had bought during their ill fated getaway to New York. He removes the vinyl and set it on the player. Before he sets the needle, He pushes the remaining piece of furniture out of the way._

_"What's this?" Darcy finally asked._

_Bucky sighs. Possibly at being interrupted before he could finish his task. He stands and make his way in front of her._

_His chest raises with a breath. He runs his hands down from Darcy's shoulders to her wrist. He holds there with a feather light grip._

_"I never got to take you dancing." He says with an uncertain vulnerability and his eyes caste to the floor._

_"Oh." Darcy breaths a heavy realization when her facade betrays her and a tear sting and her eyes while she fights to blink them back unnoticed._

_Bucky huffs a small chuckle and wipes the small few she wasn't able to hold._

_"Relax. I ain't as bad as Stevie, a'lright? Your toes are safe with me."_

_Darcy laughed softly despite herself._

_Bucky took that as reassurance and left to set the song._

_"Al'right Doll." Bucky quickly pulls her in and adjust arms, legs and torsos to the correct start position._

_His arm felt right slung around the small of her back. She lifts her chin and when she catches his eye, she knows the fit of them feels as familiar to him as it does her._

_It takes a few more beats before either realize the song had never started._

_"Sorry. Let me just-" Bucky moves to pull from their hold set the needle again._

_"Wait," Darcy stops him. Bucky checks them over at her call to halt. She smiles to assure him. "Maybe I just want to be pressed into my fellow a little bit."_

_Bucky says nothing. Darcy regrets saying it as soon as she sees the small break behind his eyes. So much for lightening the mood._

_She tightens her brow and slams her eyes shut. She is shaking her head and the beginnings of a stammered apologies come from her._

_Before she can coherently express her remorse Bucky arm slides to join the other from the other side of her waist. Her eyes open at the encasing. Where she expected to a fallen line to his lips was a small, warm smile._

_Her face relaxes. The hand she had in position on his shoulder slides up and her finger tips rest nestled in the nape of hair. When he doesn't immediately bristle at the contact, she moves the hand resting on his bicep up to join the other._

_She rest her cheek on his chest and closes her eyes before releasing a full sigh. When she take a breath back in it is deep and with purpose. She was mentally banking his scent. Leather and fresh turned earth. She realized then how much she would miss it._

_"We better get you on the road." The rumble come from under her ear pressed to him._

_" 'suppose you're right." She muses..._

_... and they stand just like that for another twenty minutes._

She had to find him. She stood in front of her old door, nearly choking on the memory of them when she could be  _with_ him. They could be near each other and maybe enough to get her through this misty eye nostalgia.

She took off towards his room with determination, glad she still knew the way. There was no hesitation in her steps. She wanted to see her soulmate.

It was with a small hope he would sense how much she wanted to simply be near him, in whatever capacity, and not shut the door in her face.

She knocks gingerly twice. She is bouncing on her heels and talking herself out of lunging at her soulmate to seal her lips on his and claim something she suspects fate had gifted her long before she was born.

Light footsteps approach from behind door. She fears she may have frightened him with her late night call and he is on guard behind the barrier. Her excitement doesn't falter though. He'll understand soon enough. She'll make him understand. The door begins to shift and open. A swallow thud grows thick in her throat and a tightness in her abdomen. This was it. She was accepting what belong to her.

"Hello?"

It wasn't Bucky.

It wasn't even close to Bucky.

It was a trim, ethereally beauty with glossy blonde hair and lethally long legs shown from a nearly too short men's cotton undershirt. A shirt the woman was pulling at in attempted modesty under Darcy's dumbfounded scrutiny. Uncertain scrutiny that was maybe going on a little too long, Darcy realized after the woman turned her head to check either side of the hall before turning her attention to Darcy once again. The women leaned against the door frame and crosses her arms over her chest, causing the shirt to rise slightly over her taunt, toned thigh.

When Darcy's eyes were drawn to it, the woman dropped her face to Darcy's to stop the attention.

"Can I help you?"

Oh gaw. Darcy was staring. Oh gaw. Oh gaw. She shook her head loose.

"Ah. I'm sorry. I, ah, uh. Geeze. Bucky? I'm sorry, I was looking for Bucky."

"James?" Darcy was certain the woman purred as she raised a hand to a delicate chain seen poking out from the collar of her shirt.

Oh.

 _Darcy's_ Bucky was _this_ women's James.

Oh.

Darcy could only nod at the woman's inquiry.

"He's off base with Captain Rogers." The woman began to look skeptical. "Are you suuure you're supposed to be here?" She reached into the door slightly and it occurred to Darcy that having a weapon drawn on her by Bucky's new... whatever... was certainly going to be heard about the other compound tenants.

"Yeah!  Sorry. I was just hoping to catch him. Um. I'm here with Thor." This time Darcy was met with a lifted brow. "I'm just going to go." Darcy's pointed behind her. "Sorry. Believe me. I am very sorry to have knocked and you know." Darcy drew a hand indicating to the state of undress between them. "Forgive me."

And then Darcy curtsied. Because of course she did.

She shot off aimlessly down the hall. Allowing herself to get two, maybe three, full turns away from her humiliation before she slowed to think.

_**What** was that?  **Who** was that?!_

_J_ ane would know. Darcy just had to get back to Jane.

Oh gaw.

Jane _knew._

Jane tried to tell her, hadn't she? This is exactly why Jane had tried to get her to call Bucky wasn't it?

No. Jane wouldn't let Jane be blindsided like that, right? There had to be an explanation.

Unless, Jane had no idea Bucky's... whatever would be there.

This was too much. Darcy couldn't add to this. She didn't want to go to Jane and seek any answers. She didn't want anymore of this tonight. She needed a quiet place.

The hydraulic in the lab door sounded and she crept in. As soon as the opening secured again she put her back to the closest wall and slid down.

What she didn't do was cry. She had no right. She ran away long before the hit to the gut tonight. She didn't cry, she just sat there numb.

~*~

 _Numb,_ as it turns out, worked out well. Darcy was definitely still numb when she made a hasty excuse in a note to Jane about needing to leave and head back to the Tower immediately, along with a promise to call. She left the folded script on Jane's table and grabbed her things. She would find a place to wait out a Quint Jet heading near her desired destination.

That was over a week ago.

Numb had evolved. There was sad. There was melancholy. Then anger. Good old anger has brought us to here. Bitter.

Darcy was bitter.

Worst yet it was unjustifiably bitter. 

Bitter and sitting on a nondescript bench some pained pacing distance from the Tower because Tony told her snipping at the new interns wasn't a good look and to get some air. So now she sits. She inhales deeply a few times. She tries to clear head. She remembers her day out in the city with Bucky. The people watching, the calm serenity of reminding yourself you're only but a dot on this Earth. 

She figures it's worth a shot. She straightens herself and tries to hone in on someone, anyone to watch. Soon enough she spots a lanky co-ed. He's tall enough to keep an eye on and interestingly dress enough to give possible flair. He sips his blended iced concoction with headphones in and barely paying attention to anything above absolute ground level. That was probably why he was none the wiser when a stalker fellow near his age barreled into him at a jogging pace.

"Crap, there goes six dollar frape." The co-ed sighed as he pulled the buds out his ears and began to swipe away the collision of mocha richness smashed between he and the offending runner.

The very same fitness buff has yet to move. Darcy even thought she may have seen him sputter. He remains fixed on the guy cleaning himself before he finds his voice.

"At least I can now treat you to another, huh?"

The other guy's head whips up. His face blank but not dreadfully so. He's almost... pleasantly shocked? A smile grows where a thin lined was. 

"I've been waiting all my life for you to offer." He says warmly.

"Yeah well, forgive me, I had to wait until the late '90s coffee craze to know what the heck Frappuccinos even were." The shorter of the two laugh with the other joining in. "So, a refill."

"Yeah. Yeah, that would be great."

 _Really?_ Darcy thought as the _Soulmates_ strolled of back towards the direction the first man had come. When they got fifty yards down the path and joined hands Darcy groaned. Loudly.

"Are you serious with this?!" She tilted her head back and yelled to the sky. "REALLY, Universe? That's how it's going to be?!"

"I know. Some people don't know how lucky they have it. Am I right?"

She knew that voice.

Darcy shot to her feet and turn to face the voice coming from behind her bench. When she made no other motion of recognition, the voice continued.

"I mean, they say words. They match and their uncomplicated existence just allows them to skip of in the sunset towards... was that coffee?"

Darcy realizes her mouth is agape. She closes it and wills her voices to come. She's only able to push out a rasped whisper.

"Bucko-"

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> XXXXXX STOP XXXXX MAKE SURE YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 11 XXXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XXXXXX STOP XXXXX MAKE SURE YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 11 XXXXX
> 
> Thanks you everyone still here! I saw some familiar names in last chapter comment section. It felt like a nice. Here we go, for better or worse, this is done. Almost 2 years to the day exactly. Thank you for all the congratulations on our bundle too! He's our third but I tell ya, each one is just as exciting... and exhausting. lol

"Hey Doll."

To his credit he does look a little sheepish about his surprise drop in.

He also looks different and exactly the same. His hair is a bit longer but not as long as when they had first met. He wears civilian clothes with greater ease than he had before. The timid uncertainty that seems to be growing as they stand here and was sadly familiar.

"Buck-" Her voice unchanged from her initial attempt at using it. He lifts his brows and shrugs slightly. So many questions breeze pass her. There are so many she wants to throw at him. The simplest wins out. "What are you doing here?"

The brief relief at her engaging him did not go unnoticed. Either he's getting sloppy or he wanted her to see.

A hand comes from his pocket and he gestures towards her weakly before thinking better of it and pulling himself back and scrunching his chin. He runs and hand through his hair and takes a breath. He pauses, seemingly searching for the words.

"Can I show you something?" He finally asks.

Darcy's eyes close quick and she shakes her head tightly. What was this? She clears her throat as she answers. "Um, yeah. Sure?"

When she opens her eyes she can see he wasn't sure she would say yes. He looks dejected and she realizes it looked as if she was shaking her head  _no._

"No, Buck-. It was just... I, uh.. You know what? Never mind. Lead the way." She relents and he smiles. That smile, it was enough to break hearts, she knew because her own was aching.

There's nothing but silence the entire cab ride. She figured she would look first and ask questions later. Though judging the way his knee bounced all the way to Brooklyn, she assumed he had a fair bit of talking he was holding back too.

When they slowed in front of a modest building they had both seemed ready to be out of the car.

"It's right here." Bucky gestured with a set of keys.

"What is, exactly?" Darcy inquired following behind. Bucky opened the door and allowed her entrance into the space first.

It was residential. Even through the construction materials and hanging tarps and plastic that was obvious. It wasn't so unfinished that Darcy couldn't see the beauty in the craftsmanship that was complete. Those parts were remarkable. She loses herself in taking them in. It wasn't like the crisp clean lines Darcy was used to seeing in the mass gentrification of Brooklyn. This was a restoration. A celebration of the past.

"You came to the compound." Darcy turns at the statement, she feels her eyes widen. Bucky's _somebody_ must have told him.

"Yeah. Um, sorry about that." She looks at the floor. 

"Darce-"

"So whose place is this?" She interrupts. She could be spared the explanation of the new someone. Bucky notices her attempt and grants it but not before swallowing down a lump and answering.

"Mine." He says simply while Darcy's face contorts in surprise. He chuckles slightly and continues. "Bought it about six months ago. Had to go with a fixer-upper. Do you know what it cost to live in this city anymore?" Now Darcy was the one to laugh lightly.

"Careful, your starting to sound your age." She teases as she turns to take in more of the house knowing now it belonged to him.

"Steve helps. When he can." She sees him shrug. "But I'm here when I'm not on mission or training. Hoping to get it done sooner than later."

He has been here? So close this whole time? Why hadn't he said anything? He senses her questions and continues before she can ask anything.

"Ya know." He laughs putting an arm up and leans into a door jam but she knows it is a front, an attempt to lighten the content. "It was probably best I found this place when I did. Tony's offer of some hidden service floor housing wasn't sounding too bad but having to detail how I had been getting past his prized A.I. every time in exchange would have delighted him too much."

" _What_?!" Turns out there was still some anger with this newfound confusion. "You were in the Tower?! When? Why?"

His face wears a look of disbelief, like he doesn't get why she doesn't understand. "To check in on you, Doll." When she gives him nothing he continues. "I mean only those few times. I'm not a creep or nothing- Well I guess this is a bit but-" 

"What are you talking about? I thought you... What about space?"

" _Yeah_ , I was giving it to _you_  like _you_  suggested and I am sorry I looked in on ya and I'm sorry for showing up like this it's just..." He turns from her briefly and the again faces her directly. He puts his hand on his hips but the action is more timid than commanding. Finally he says "You were right, you know?"

She was lost. He continues.

"You were right. I did need to find my own focus. My own healing. I got that, eventually, anyways. I mean when I suggest we-" He gestures around to the unfinished walls. "I guess I really did want a home. Stability. I'm loving building it up and all. Sure, the commute isn't as great as had we-... had _I_  planted roots near the base but Brooklyn's home, yeah?" He stands straighter but there is almost something apologetic in his eyes. "And I wouldn't have realized that right if you hadn't... If I hadn't taken the step back."

The tears threatening the surface were forceful. They were nearly as harsh as the sob hiding in her throat. Bucky makes a move to gather her and she motions for him to stay where he is.

"I wasn't right." She chokes. "I mean, I WAS right. Everything you got going on? It's so great for you. You deserve all of it. This house, your recruits, your... someone." She swallows.

"Doll?"

"No please let me just say it and I swear I will be done. I want you happy more than anything but I need to say this." She puts a hand up once more. "I wasn't right, Bucko. I was wrong. Really, really wrong. I didn't gives us, THIS, a chance. I never did. Never in my life did I think my Soulmate would stick around so I became the one that left. I get that's totally fucked up logic and believe me, in light of recent events, I am fully aware how much it pains me that I lost our chance and-"

This time Darcy doesn't have time to protest him moving towards her. He's there with his arms around her and gently pressing her head to his chest. It's soon after a wrecked sob goes through her.

"Shhh. It's al'right." Bucky shushes gently into her hair. "Doll. Breath with me, okay?" She follows the rise and fall of the chest beneath her cheek. "I am going to need you to calm down so you can tell me what it is you're talking about."

She pulls back and looks him straight in the eye. Did he think playing dumb was for her benefit? It hurt almost.

"I went by your room, Buck. I knocked and everything. Your... whatever, girlfriend? Maybe just a friend who is a girl but close enough to be in your room, barely dressed, without you there or whatever? She was there. I mean, okay, that's your business but _isn't_ _that_ how found out I was even on the grounds? She didn't tell you when you and Steve got back?"

He laughs. The son of bitch is laughing. Darcy removes herself from him and steps closer to the center of the room. She will not be made a fool.

" _Jane_ , told me you were there. She said you've been ignoring her calls and she only wanted to know how it went between us."

Darcy still didn't see the humor.

"Well _Jane_  also tried to warn me! She said you had something you probably be the one to tell me!"

"Yes! That I bought a house in Brooklyn!" The abruptness of his shout brought the shifting direction of the conversation to a halt. He sighs deeply and slowly bring his right hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "God for months with Wilson it's been ' _Communication, man. What you two need is com.mun.i.cation_ "' Bucky's Sam voice is actually terrible but now is not the time to rib him, not when he looks up and right at Darcy. His shoulders slump slight in defeat. "Sucks more that he's absolutely right." He looks at her pleadingly . "I moved my stuff in our room the first night you left.' He shrugs. "That was home before I found this place." He pauses before saying quietly. "It reminds me of us." A longer pause stretches between them, his body language more offended that defensive. "Doll, I don't know who you met or what you saw but that ain't got nothing to do with you and me. You think I-?" He stops himself. "You? You're- You're everything."

Darcy stood stunned. Well and truly stunned. Slack jawed and blanked faced. Her entire understanding of the situation just shifted. She is slow to fit the pieces and Bucky awaits silently in his place while for as long as he is able.

"Look," Bucky finally broke. "I didn't show up to tell you I've changed and things are magically going to work now or I ain't still working on myself. We are still gonna be work, ya know? We just ain't as lucky as those two fellas in the park. We're a little busy. We _save the World_ , Doll." He relaxes when she lets a small smile form. "I'm just out here asking for a date."

" _A date_?" Darcy sounds skeptical even to herself.

"Yeah, al'right." He admits while he run a hand over the back of his neck. "Maybe I'm looking for a little of that chance you were talking about too." He grins.

The way he was standing, the way he was holding himself, it morphed it something tranquilly assured.

"You wanted to be chosen? Great. I _choose_ you, Doll. I _chose_ a while ago." He takes a step forward a grabs her hands in his. "I mean, I'm in town often enough." He smiles and the charm hiding just behind it is undeniable. "All I'm asking is maybe a little wooing, a little third date necking at your door. Some more threats from Tony, and well, Steve. Probably, no, _definitely_  from Natasha too. And then maybe, somewhere down the road, you might choose _me_. Soulmark or not."

Huh. Funny thing getting your heart's desire when you had just been rolling in the pits of despair after think it was lost forever. You just don't know how to reach out a grab it.

Darcy stood there.... and stood there. It got kinda awkward to be honest. Then she cocks her head. She looks him over, calculating.

"You need a haircut." She finally says.

"You offering, Doll?" He wiggles a brow and Darcy is certain given different circumstances she would really like to take the opportunity to properly swoon.

" 'suppose I am, Solider." She moves towards him and he follow the action to close the distance faster.

She drapes her arms behind his neck and he lifts her from where he now has his hands wrapped around her. She uses his support to unravel herself and put her hands on either side of his face. She sweetly kisses his lips.  Then with her still secure in his grip he brings a hand to rest behind her head. He brings her back down only this kiss more passionate. When he pulls back they both can't help but beam. She slides down the length of him to her feet and stands tip toes up to give one more peck.

"You are no one's broken dove, Bucko." She breaths.

He wraps his arms tightly around her once more. He leans into her ear and nuzzles space in hair so she may better hear him.

"Doll, we are going to be very happy together."

 

 

 

-

Epilogue

 

 

In the end, he bought the house in the city, she paid for the country home thirty miles south of the compound. She joked it gave her a reason to visit the area. 

The old boards below his feet creaked as he crossed the threshold. It didn't matter. He knew she never went back to sleep after Mission Support called anyways. Sure enough her lazy, sleepy smile greets him from her pillow.

"I saved you your pillow." She winks.

He makes his way around the bed and dips the mattress under his weight as he sits to remove his boots. Nothing else seems important enough to remove with the need to wrap around her too great. Lying on his right side, he slides his metal arm over her hips and rest a flat palm below her navel to draw her back into him. 

"It's not really saving it, if it's mine." He lets his four day scruff rub against her bare shoulder.

" 'Guess not but sometimes it gets awful lonely. Maybe it forgets all about you sometimes." She wiggles into him where they meet below the waist.

"Mmm, Doll. If I wasn't coming off a 11 hour flight from Odin-knows-where, I would be all about making sure no one in this bed forgets anything about me any time soon." He has his nose buried behind her ear and he knows it's not right the way it makes her shiver if he doesn't plan on following through but he missed her something awful.

"Fine by me. Just thought I offer. I spent the evening playing 'mean mommy' because the twins don't have their Summer reading list done. Not exactly up for the whole war bride bit anyways."

"I'll talk to 'em tomorrow." Bucky grumbles with a sleep haze resting into his voice.

Darcy sigh with relief of no longer being out numbered by kids.

"School is week after next." She purrs. "Goodbye podunk, hello big city."

At this Bucky actually growls half turned into his pillow.

"I know you hate being Commuter Dad but 'tis the life we lead, my friend. Christmas in the country will be here before you know it"

"It's not that." He yawns. "You will working from the Tower again."

"And?"

"And! Last time I went into visit my wife for a lunch break, Tony programmed his minion robot army to corner and interrogate me."

"They were not interrogating you! They can only beep. You're getting old and cranky."

"The joke is getting old. It's been eight years, if I didn't spook at the surprised pregnancy, I ain't leaving now." He finds some energy to laugh.

"Stop!" She swats at his arm, finding her laugh too. " I saw the words  **'Extended Mission'** flash behind your eyes at the double heart beat." She jokes back.

"Never." He affirms and draws her in tighter.

"Mmm, that's good to know, Bucko. " She grows tired pressed into his warmth.

"It is, Doll. It is." 

He lets her slow and steady breathing lull him into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this was a Soulmate story, I felt it deserved those cheesy Casablanca type one liners to end it.  
> Epilogue was more a nod at how life still picked up and carried on. My husband travels a lot for work. I can tell you that's a pretty standard 3 am post work trip conversation.


End file.
